Where is Propagandhi?

Pulau Ketam's steamboat porridge. I'm not comfortable with cooking stuff in my porridge. So it wasn't a very pleasant experience seeing fishballs, wantons and foo chuk in my porridge. Porridge porridge porridge. That's Hafiz (back from Perth) and Yaty in the back, who are staying with us for a whole week and a half! Shucks can't see Connie next to Yaty, she's 7 and a half months pregnant and she looks DAMN cute and round.

Uh..it's actually white. But its the "reaction" from Joyce's red shirt. (HAHAHA reaction! *alliance joke) Does anyone know how to change that wallpaper in the background? Help!

My almost everyday lunch. Tulip's Spicy Luncheon Meat. It's not really enough unless you have half a can. On its own.
My beat up toenail :D It's gone now. I picked at it till it bled so I sort of stopped.

Victor after his accident. BMW total loss, what is a RM1000 fine. Victor is quite concerned that is this picure is found online it would find its way to The Star. But be warned, whoever who rips this picture off will have their head ripped off their body. Won't win one la he wouldn't do the "jolly good" sign for this picture.

Really pretty dog. Look ma, no chains.

Lan's latest pet. It's a step up from snakes I feel. When I'm at his house I'm actually a little nervous that something might jump out of the cages and lunge for me. Or or worse, all ten snakes at once. Ham is getting quite worried about my luncheon meat intake. He asked me to pack on the pounds but at the rate I'm going its apparently scary.

Go Tulip! Forget Spam!

Q

Jung called me and asked if I wanted tickets to Good Charlotte. I instinctively gasped and said "I hate Good Charlotte Jung."

I think I came off sounding a bit rude, sorry Jung! Hehe but its reflex. My goodness they are coming to Malaysia? Even more of an affirmation that pop bands are taking over the world. Who in the world dared to say that Good Charlotte was punk? Or Pop Punk even. You can't dress punk and look punk, only music and lifestyle is. Sure some of these shit bands are musically inclined, but anyone can be. It's being real that counts in music. Music isn't just rhythm and lyrics. It's beliefs, actions and just being very true to yourself.

It was about 5 years ago when I felt very proud to be Malaysian. It was when I first heard Gerhana Ska Cinta. Such insane potential.

Real life was stumped when the 90s came by. We are all just making do.

Oh and I also hate any toilets, sitting or squatting, that has water splashing onto your feet when you flush. Because everytime I use a public restroom, I have to prepare to run for cover before I flush. So it's my feet as close to the door as possible and my arm stretched as far as I could to flush the damn toilet. And even if make a run for it I sometimes still get it on me. I HATE IT! It's like shitty bands, you just can't avoid it. It's nothing wrong to make music but its everything wrong when you claim yours to be something it isn't. Why are you trying to dupe yourself and insult the the bands who really are something.

Actually, it could be a whole new genre. Wannabe Pop or Wannabe Rock, maybe just Wannabe. Well then there are some good wannabe pop bands.

Esther is 10!

Today Esther had her 10th birthday party. Okay its not the 10th she's had but she's 10 now and she had about 20plus friends over today. Joyce and I stayed up late last night planning the games, the balloons the food the prizes. Voonz came over last night and helped with the balloons. My two darling Kakaks also helping with the balloons, the cooking and the "headaches" as we lovingly called the event.

Joyce and I decorated the house :D My phone's pictures has this yellow tinge to it *ugh. The pictures does no justice to what was in reality. The whole house was bursting in colors.

There was so much leftover KFC. So I had six pieces today. Abuot four balloons popped in my face today. I didn't get hit by a water balloon. And speaking of those water balloons, you nkwo the proper teensy ones meant to be water balloons? Not the normal ones where when you throw them at someone they bounce off, hit the floor and thats when they burst? These ones are awesome water balloons but they are a bitch to fill up. I'm tugging and huffing to very gingerly pull the mouth over the tap hoping it doesn't tear and I get to fill it up without water spraying in three directions. My two favourite colors! I saved these for the end when no one else had any more and all power was in my hands muahaha.

Anyway Esther's theme was her two favourite colors, orange and hot pink (*cringe, though its better than the pastel). Joyce and I wore her Zara tops; one which said I Love Pink and I wore the one which said I Love Orange -_-"

Esther got this really cool laughing Elmo. It's damn retarded. It keeps laughing and moving about changing laughing poses. Sometimes it even sounds like you're torturing it!

My weekend home.

So Ham and I have had the Naza 206 for a while now and nothing's much changed since then though there's nothing really thatI want to change. Except! I don't have to take cabs anymore! Hip hip hurray! I have a feeling that in a couple of months, 206s will be everywhere! You heard it here first :D

ANYWAY, if you look closely at the picture below, you can spot my dad's new pet! I named him Jimbo. Jimbo the Lizard.

That's all the food that Esther, the small one on the left, Joyce, Daddy and I finished. Actually Esther had half a bowl, Joyce had one and my dad and I polished off the rest.
Jimmy and meeeee. I don't know why my arm looks so extremely fat here. But anyway, the subject of this photo isn't me, but Jimmy. That's actually him posing, I hope.

Follow the red balloon.

On the set of a Mastercard commercial, I saw a group of guys preparing the props..which includes lots and lots of balloons. Now I am not one of those girls who's all BALLOON! BALLOON! I want la my childhood so deprived so I get to act like a sweet innocent girl now. No, I'm not one of those. However, ONE particular balloon got my attention. A big red one. its HUGE.
Can you see how huge it is? I touched it and its all thick and rubbery. It's not a ball either, its a helium balloon. Feck! I want! I snapped pictures of it throughout the day. 1 in the morning, 2 in the afternoon and so on.
Look at the size of it! I was so tempted to ask the Art Department if they could blow up a few more for me to take home.
Good thing I didn't. The boy got stuck in the revolving gate thingy at the exit. HAHAHAHAHA I couldn't stop laughing.
Somesh helped the guy out by pushing the balloon out through the top. I mean cause otherwise the gate would be stuck for a while and there were a lot more people waiting to get out behind us. So there it is, the coveted balloon.

I tried desperately to MMS these pictures to Raychel. But she didn't get them so I had to put it up :D

The blues.

Or the greens. *ahem.

Rachel Yeng, Ter Pek San, Wong Mun Fye..
You have no idea how lonely I am without you three.
Come home pleasee..

Our system is vicious. 3 months of seeing you every morning, afternoon and night. And then months of not seeing you at all.
*SOB.

Potahto, pohtayto.

Daddy bought an entire cod fish again and this time he gave me 4 thick glorious slabs of it.

YUM. I usually do the yin yong; one fried and one steamed. I dare not experiment with it because if it goes wrong I would cry. Seriously I would. Once when I was making prawns with breadcrumbs and when I overfried them I stared at the wok and felt a small sob coming up my chest.

I was sub-consciously checking MSN to see if Elle is online cause I need some tips on what to do with potatoes. I don't have pork, so I can't make sliced potatoes and pork. But since she isn't online I'm looking at recipes through websites. What a noob la me.

Anyway I was talking to an ex-classmate and she mentioned that I have really straight hair.
"I know," I said, "I've always wanted more volume, its so straight and boring"
She said I could try rebonding it, so it would be super straight because apparently, its in style.
I didn't have the heart to tell her that I HATE the whole rebonding thing and think it looks ugly on 90% of the girls that gets it done.
So I said "Nah rebonding's not for me. I don't want to spoil my hair"
She came up with a solution saying I could buy a ceramic iron thing (cant remember what its called) and straighten it every morning.
Who the hell has the time to straighten their hair every morning tell me please. I don't even have a hair dryer.
I don't even have a hairbrush.
I've never paid for a haircut.

Okay, I deserve to have boring hair.

Wet Willie

You know how when you look back into the past and try to remember how the sensation felt like during a significant time and while you remember bits and parts you also realize how small and sometimes insignificant they feel because some time has passed?

But you also knew at that time what you felt was very strong and you can't seem to wrap your head around the notion that you don't feel anything close to what it felt like and you feel just a little guilty. However there's that tug at your heart, pulling it sideways telling you that it was real and it did happen.

I don't want Ham to be a small and insignificant anything. I held his hand tight when I told him this. I have made choices that I stand by and that I beleive I am in someway paying for but benig with him is worth all the judgments and offhand comments. I take pride in knowing that I see something many others don't and that the breaths I've been taking since I've made that choice are all that of blissful sighs.

Saves the day.

I've been singing to this song for about seven years? The lyrics are damn sweet! I still like it till today so if you have time go listen to it. When you're bored like I am now you can sing and jump with it for hours. Real entertainment.

Let me take this awkward saw
And run it against your thighs
Cut some flesh away
I'll carry this piece of you with me

So all I can say tonight is that I hate you
But it would be all right
We could see each other sometime

If I could somehow make you mine
And if not I'll take my spoons
I'll dig out your blue eyes
I'll swallow them down to my colon
They're gonna burn like hell tonight'cause your beautiful
Just not on the inside, yeah

Light comes from within
And your beaming eyes don't seem so bright

My heart is on the floor
Why don't you step on it?
When I think ofall the things you've done
My heart is on the floor
Why don't you step on it?
When I think of all the things you've done

Boardwalks and breaking waves
Made our Saturdays
I'd buy you lemonade right now if you were here then I'd throw it in your face
And I'd listen to you cry

Remember how I miss our nights under ocean skies
You and I are like when fire and the ocean floor collide

: Rocks tonic juice magic.

If I crossed a million oceans

A week ago Esther got the Sims for her Nintendo DS. As I've said before, Esther and I usually give in to Joyce so its been Joyce hogging the Nintendo while Esther watches her older sister plays her game. Joyce even bosses Esther around asknig her to plug the Nintendo to the charger never taking her eyes off it.

Anyway one of them decided to name one of their characters Dr.Jimmy and the other Dr.Neuron. Then i got to thinking that maybe I should name one of my sons after my dad. I thought it would be great not just as a gesture but an even more solid imprint of my father in my life; our lives.

Then I thought about how I would be bossing my son around using my dad's name like "Jimmy! Don't chew on the rug! Jimmy, don't bite Aunty Joyce!"

I happily recounted the story to my dad and then he said "Yeah then you'll feel a hard smack at the back of your head."

I think I'll do it anyway. Probably as a middle name. It would be awesome! Every man should be like my dad! He's the best! Every weekend when I come home he'll be waiting to take me to lunch, and then we'd go buy everything that I like to eat and sometimes buy/borrow a book. Then we'll sit and talk about our friends, our books and our family. We'd device plans on how to wrestle Ma from her hectic schedule to have dinner with us. We'd talk about how proud we are of Joyce, of how smart Esther is and how we want to buy a gigantic house and have daddy and mommy live with us and our husbands and kids. I can tell Daddy is really happy with the idea because he said "Eh can also, I can start looking for a plot of land" although Ma said "You think your husbands will like meh?" But I know secretly she like also.

Ooh and on Monday Daddy invited Ham to lunch! And Ma has been giving him more errands to run! It's a sign of acceptance! Progress! If Daddy only knew how much he and Ham have in common. The gory movies, the obsession with making me eat, the comic books in the bottom shelf, the addiction to Zantec, the afternoon naps at the same time, they both prefer being at home, the same stoopid jokes, they both secretly love Transformers but wouldn't admit it, they both call Rachel by Ray like me, they both HATE it when men cry in movies, they both LOVE making fun of Joyce, and most of all, they both adore ME!

Happy Birthday Yeng!

In Melbourne time its officially Fudge's birthday. She likes being sandwiched what can I say.Like I told her, there's so much I wish for her words cannot convey!

She got a new cat today. I was trying to help her name it. I said "What about Pudge after me or Fudge after you?" Then i was upset because Famous Amos had increased their prices by RM2 so name the cat Amos. Then she came up with Dice, Orion and something else.

Now her cat's name is DiceCube. If you've watched Puff Puff Pass, remember the Cool Crush Ice Killa?!

hAHAHAHHahhahahHHAhahahhahahHAhahha.

A sad sob story.

I can't write anymore.

I was going through my old posts looking for a story my sister could use for her scholarship application. I used to write better, although they were much darker.

I can't even find the words now and they use to dribble messily all over the place.

I used to be able to paint pretty well. Now i'm not sure if i'm holding the brush right.

Not everything is like riding a bike.

Shit colored nails.

You should read this.
The part where she said "i'm sure we love the tempurung we're under" its too funny.

fattyboo says:
very nicely put!
unfortunately, from what i've seen and heard, the same kids griping about the anti-rasuah cops asking for bribes are the SAME people paying the bribes. if you truly want a change, let's start at home.
let's hope they are more people like you, who complains productively (for lack of a better word)
and i had no idea the ferris wheel cost 30mil, thats an absurd amount of money spent but whats new lah, we've always known the government to spend stupidly on stupid things. locals are swarming there to "view malaysia from the top" and again these are the same people who don't even travel within their own country.

its like that idiot in my global advertising class. in every class he never fails to angrily announce that there are children suffering in Iraq. START AT HOME. who are you to be all high and mighty when you're wearing nike frmo head to toe day after day?

its one thing to be unmindful . thats fine. there's no crime in that in the least. its fine when you're comfortable where you are but its a whole other thing to want to sound all humanitarian and ooh so morally-conscious.

that bribe thing. i bite my tongue whenever someone complains that the anti-rasuah badge wearing cop asked them for 30bucks in exchange for a non-summon. because immediately after that they'll affirm that they paid the bribe and then continue to complain that that was 30bucks wasted. then why not, for fucks sake, take the damn summon! if you would have said "thank goodness these cops accept bribes i paid rm30 instead of rm300" then at least you're not being a hypocrtical prick. if one had said that, i'd be impressed that they didn't feel the need to express their disdain over corruption when they are participating in it! if you didn't pay bribes in the first freaking place, they wouldn't be asking for bribes. but then again, temptation. who in their right mind would pay rm300 over rm30? well i say it should be the same people complaining about it in the first place.

that whole shark's fin thing. some people tells me, "its okay stel, these ones aren't real anyway." yes but you are propagating the sales of the shark's fin by participating in the selfish act of eating it. i'm fine with people having it, to each their own. its not like i look down upon those who enjoy it, my sister joyce loves it and though sometimes she feels bad about eating it (due to my stare of disapproval for the last 6 years) i'm fine with her having it because she doesn't go around claiming to "so love animals and nature." but don't tell me to have it cause its fake. its even stupider to have the fake ones i feel. some say its just been a tradition for so long. then whyyy the "progress" with wearing skimpy clothes and being up to date with technology and not progress with being conscientious about thsi sort of thing?!

its the same thing as wearing faux fur. if there isn't people to wear them and make them a fashion statement the rich who can afford the real thing wouldn't buy them and hence making a whole market out of it. don't talk shit on the poachers, in fact they are just making a living however disgusting their jobs are isn't as disgusting as you wanting the fur for vanity purposes. i'm not big on animal rights, but if not for the sharks or the other creatures of the sea swimming around shark carcasses, then what about the ecosystem? bleah i've blogged about this enough times.

and going to the zoo. oh my goodness the zoo. girls go "i wanna go to see and see the animals!' then giggle and be all demure because you're some animal loving albeit ignorant brat. the same animals that you sooo want to see in the zoo are underfed and goodness knows about the fight they had to put up to avoid being locked up while you insensitive people happily pay money to fund their sad state. the polar bears, fucked up! 2 air-conditioners is not gonna cut it. leave them be i'm sure we can move along fine with life without ever seeing polar bears. for an animal lover, isn't knowing that these animals are safe and comfortable more important than gawking at them through glass for 40 seconds? i don't super duper love animals but yet it makes me sad that thse things are happening right under our noses. it makes me sick that "animal lovers" want to go to the freaking zoo! same thing with the pet store and the stupid circus. the circus is sick. except while i was talking to miriam today she told me that the zoo she went to in belize suprisingly keep all their animals healthy and the environment they are in are almost exactly like the ones they came from. she could actually FEEL the animal's happiness. for one thing they don't import the animals so none of really taken far from their natural habitat. now why not spend 30mil on something thoughtful like that?

i really could go on forver so bottomline is, its cool to be whatever you are but its stupid stupid stupid when your actions shows one thing and your talk shows another. like paris hilton, people enjoy gossiping about how bimbo and shallow she is but hey, she knows she is and she's not claiming to be the greatest humanitarian in the world or comparing herself to mother teresa.

Esther aka Clever Oo

Funny hat, shiny pants. says:
omg and you know what she did to me yesterday ah!
Stella says:
what?
Funny hat, shiny pants. says:
she saw a cockroach in the kitchen right. but i didn't see. so she was screaming and saying got cockroach all but now go away already.
2!! or 3!! not suer also -___-
and i was like "is it. cockroach only ma"
and she's liek "YOU ASO DAMN SCARED ONE!" and i'm like nooo. then i continued cooking maggi with chooyen la right.
AND SHE DAMN BAD SHE PUT ONE OF HER "CHOCO BABY" ON MY HAND (that was resting on the kitchen counter) AND SHOTUED "COCKROACH! COCKROAHC ON YOUR HAND!!!"
Stella says:
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA i damn love her la. our house got cockroach meh!
Funny hat, shiny pants. says:
wahlau. os i screamed damn loud and she's like "that's why next time don't say you not scared!" IN A VERY SMUG TONE
Funny hat, shiny pants. says:
WAHLAU. SHE IS NOT EVEN 10 AND SHE IS SUCH A BITCH MAN.
Funny hat, shiny pants. says:
wah i damn sad she alwys do these kind of things ot me. must be cause i'm the middle child.
Funny hat, shiny pants. says:
i should have category on my blog titled "MCS"
Stella says:
eh. i ALWAYS give in to you. even esther gives in to you okay.
Stella says:
when you and esther both want to use the compuer or watch tv, she'll let you have it even after you screamed at her. then she'll look at me and say (because she knosw i'm probably gonna scold you for scolding her) and she says "its okay, let er jie"
Stella says:
MCS my backside
Funny hat, shiny pants. says:
...
Funny hat, shiny pants. says:
fine.

My favourite two.

So yesterday I had a chat with Rachel and we were debating friendship. Of expectations and exploitations.

I asked, Why can't friends put their judgments aside when it comes to another being happy?
And I said,
People think they are standing up for whats right when really, they are being self-righteous. There's a big big difference between the two. If you love a friend, his or her happiness should mean the world to you regardless of any circumstances your friend is in. Even if you feel that your friend made a wrong decision, you do what my favourite fatty does and stand by your friend despite knowing that you would have done otherwise. Naturally, whatever you feel about their situation should come second to their happiness. You can't live another's happiness or sorrow. You cannot live another's shoes. It's nonsense and I've said before and again, you can only live your own experience. Love..even in friendship is so strong and binding and I cannot see how one's judgments or values, so-called, can take precedent over your love for your friend and his/her happiness. Happiness is like love, something so grand and powerful that is has no measure. Opinions however..values..beliefs..all secondary, in my opinion heh.

Then she said,
I only have that kind of love for a small handful of friends. People will always love themselves and their opinions more.

She has said before,
You love to a great degree, and many others cannot do that and you can't expect them to do it your way because neither loves the same way. Love is not universal.

So the cynic wins. The more I look up to friendship and love, the more disappointment I'd feel later on. Is she right? That relationships are doomed to fail especially whe one believes in fairy tales? Because real life can never quite live up to it. Why is it easier to get pissed at a friend when they are closer to you? Probably because you feel they should be a certain way and once they've put one toe out of line you cut them off. If I was such a friend I would have chopped Mel into pieces and never see her again. But as these differences surface our bond grows stronger because despite all the arguing and debates on whats right and wrong, one thing is clear in our minds that nothing will ever come in between us. And when you have that in a friendship, even if its just one or two, you're never alone.

I've decided, to expect a friend to treat me a certain way, I must first be the friend I want to have.

And so it is.

A blue straw.

Last night my family and I ended up in Rakuzen instead of Shogun :( Though the food in Rakuzen is much better but I always preferred having buffets when its Japanese food cause then I can go all nuts on the shashimi. Anyway there was this Dragon Roll thing my mom always orders. I took a picture with my phone this time.

Hehe big prawn made into Drah-gone! We had 3 servings of that and uh an overload of food.

After dinner we went buying snacks. This is my share.

That Hello Panda can is filled with biscuits instead of the usual one I buy with individual packets. YUM.
I'm gonna have a happy next two days.

Common in Smokin' Aces!

This is so typical girl blogger.

1. Watch Factory Girl. Somehow, someway.
2. Make appointment for Brazilian.
3. Make Mel come with me for above so I can hear her scream again.
4. Give the Lohs their Christmas present.
5. Hand up Friday's assignment on Monday four days earlier.
6. Watch 300 again.
7. Call Peter and Jane to give them my new number.
8. Fingers crossed the kindergarten will have a field trip soon.
(I miss my students from Nursery Yellow *sob)
9. Finish Monday's assignment on Monday itself and hand it up before leaving school.
10. Be thankful that I don't have to take another damn cab to school and back as soon as Ham gets his car!
11. Try not to complain about the crowd tonight because other people will.
12. Condemn Fye for not being a true Frank Miller fan because he hasn't seen 300.

Go Spartans!

I just watched 300 and I LOVED it.
Damn yeng. Only part I didn't like was the last 5 minutes. Probably because I knew the movie was gonna end. I was hoping it was longer.

Before the movie we had pig's organs in pepper soup. Again. I have it about 3 times a week, at least. Yum. I only eat the siew yuk looking thing and the pig's heart. Evil but so yum. Arthur and Mel tried it after we sent Rachel and San off at KLIA. Arthur was holding a piece of the congulated pig's blood, something I haven't tried. He ate one then picked up another one and asked, "This is taufu right?"

"No its congulated pig's blood."

He paused for 2 seconds before saying "Eh quite good right."

Think I'll have it again tomorrow.

Missing me.

Ma called earlier and asked "Are you coming home this weekend?!"

I said "Of course la. Crazy ah I know you miss me."

Mother laughs shyly and said "Mommy take you for japanese okay?"

"Okay!"

Then Daddy called.

"Hi. I'm near Petaling Street and there's that sweet meat store that you talked about. The one with the rooster in boxing gloves. I'm at the main branch. You want any?"

"Yes! Oh and Ma said she'd take us for japanese when I'm back. Buffet here we come!"

"No if you want japanese there's are good restaurants where you order ala carte and the quality is much better"

"No dowan. I eat alot alot of salmon shashimi daddy. You save more if you take me to a buffet."

"True. Okayokay."

I love my parents!!! Everytime I miss a weekend home they'd lure me with food.
Speaking of family, my sister Joyce has this bad habit of calling her boyfriend "Aunty Chong". (See when a boyfriend is sweet and attentive, they get called Aunty)
She even wrote him a poem which i just HAVE TO share.

Butterflies make me happy,
purple is the best.
If you want to call me aunty,
please be my guest!

Bitchy bitchy.

Back to the Chong article in The Star because apparently, I'm not done bitching about it.

Not just about the Chong article. The whole Malaysians knows good music thing is absurd. I mean its absurd based on the claim that because Muse sold out, they know good music?! Byuing tickets to some band and going to watch them doesn't make you a fan. Because there are so few concerts in Malaysia that if anyone at all comes to play everyone would wanna go watch. Why because its a a trend, a western trend.

There are too many bands I wanna see live but when I hope for it, I don't wish for them to come play here in KL because I know the bands wouldn't give it their best. People left and right have been saying that Incubus, Muse and all..that their performance fell short of expectations. Well I don't blame the band. Simply because they know, statistically, that Malaysians don't buy their albums. You wanna say you're a fan of this band, please at least have bought ALL no at least 2 okay, of their ORIGINAL albums, nevermind the singles and etc.

It just doesn't make sense to me that you can spend rm70 on tickets to go see the band play with your friends and talk about it later and not have money well spent on a CD! So, so what if their concert sold out to whole bunch of people who downloads a few of their good songs and claim to be a fan? What nonsense! Don't say its because its expensive. Bullshit. When the same "ooh I'm so cool I like rock people" can spend good money on freaking Starbucks, which I feel is insanely expensive for coffee that taste like shit. But oh I suppose its designer, its good. San Francisco Coffee is like 27 times better.

Bands reach their targets by having albums sold out, not concerts. I can't imagine loving a band and not having their CD. Opening their album sleeve and poring over every detail and knowing you have a piece of them close to you. That just cannot compare to singing along to afew of their famous songs every now and then.

The Fray is completely annoying, if I hear their stupid ends tonight song again I will shoot somebody.

Ooh all this anger. I think its partly because Rachel, Fye and San has left to go back to Australia. And i'm left here with Mel hahahahaha. She keeps me occupied. Since she's been back we've been at each others' throats. I think I said "Stop talking to me Mel, you're fucking irritating me" about 30 times since she came back. I think she's hit me about 29490573 times. But I can't imagine life without this crazy bitch.

That's us at the airport. I CANNOT do kissy faces, stop maknig me do them. Damn tak jadi this picture. It hasss to be the only one that Miss Hobbes has resized since she's the only one that looks nice here.

Oh and a picture from Maison a few weeks ago. It's funny when I ask Ray to come with us to Maison she scrunches up her face and says "Yer I don't like the crowd there, all young kids" And so I said to her, since when has the crowd has anything to do with us going out? It's not like we're there to be seen and hence can only go to places where certain people hang out. So we went. And walking in there I know what she meant, the vibe's all wrong! The crowd is yes full of teenyboppers. Not that that would usually annoy me but in this setting it did! I haven't been back at Maison since. The first few weeks Alvin was spinning there the crowd was small. So I was thrown off when I went back there that time and it was a whole new scene. One which I didn't really like. But we were there with our awesome awesome and the night turned out geat of course. But yeah, I haven't been back there since.

L to R: Hobbes, Derek, Susie Derkins, Calvin and San. (Heheheheeh)

I was dancing up a storm, therefore the uh..sweat :D

Zoom

I got up early today, had breakfast with Ham and went for my morning class. The cab cost almost rm20 from here to college. I quickened my pace cause I was already 5 minutes late and stepped into class to see 2 of my classmates sitting in the dark.

10 minutes later we called the lecturer..to find out that he has cancelled today and tomorrow's classes because he's leaving for Botswana. WTF. He teaches two of my subjects. He's a kind and relatively smart lecturer (which are few in Limkokwing). 10 minutes later I was on another cab back here.

Ham has been glued to the computer since we had access to the internet. Reformatting and installing and doing whatever while watching and reading his anime stuff. I tried playing chor tai ti alone, amused myself for 2 good minutes and then feel asleep. Stella never naps, but I did.

A few hours later I stirred in my sleep cause Ham started bouncing on the bed saying "Babe I finally did the thing i wanted to do with the computer. Are you proud?!"

Playing along I said "Proud..very proud."

"I can start playing DOTA now!"

*shoves him off the bed*

Wiring.

...You know it ain't easy... For these thoughts here to leave me..
Nothing like a drawl from Clarence Greenwood to start off a quiet night.

I've been watching film after film. Flyboys was unexpectedly good. Babel was intense for the sake of being intense, couldn't fool me. Blood diamond I liked. Days of Glory was not as good as I expected it to be. I hate to admit it but The Holiday was kinda cute, never liked Kate Winslet till now. I wanted to watch a chinese movie so I got this Leon Lai one but never made it past the 20th minute. It was the kind of movie which was scenic, the director of photography was good but the plot was a piece of shit. Anyway don't know what I'm talking about. Just trying to kill time while my boyfriend drinks more beer (and I say this with disdain because he's growing a gut) with his friend downstairs.

Bla bla bla I read in the newspaper the other day, i think it was by some Chong person and he claims that Malaysians have better music taste because Muse sold out. And it seems to him that Muse is some sort of obscure band and so, since it sold out, Malaysians no longer succumb to the mainstream. What a load of crap. Muse has been freaking mainstream for years. You just don't label people like that. It's not just Malaysians but everyone, including the Americans jump onto the bandwagon of liking oh no in modern day everyone claims to LOVE anything obscure. Apparently it makes them a little special, a little different if they liked something not many others did. See I was elated when I was about to see New Found Glory play 3 years ago. Tears was in my eyes when they came on stage in West Palm Beach, Florida. Imagine my horror when NFG didn't play any of their songs from their first album. 6 out of 8 songs were from the 3rd album which I really didn't like and and i just sat there dumbfounded. Everyone was singing along to the new songs which I didn't really know the lyrics off. This was the band whose first album I played over and over and over again day after night after night during my high school days.

I think maybe it was then I gave up and I knew everytime a band gets their "break" during their 2nd album, the 3rd will suck and it would be a worldwide curse. Maybe its just me. It probably is. So you know..no point looking out for good music. Good music is just good music. Nevermind the roots, the history, the values. Nevermind how much I disliked Jet I gave them a second chance because their record label was of the same as Bob Marley's once. I don't know why these things get to me.

So lately, or for he past 3 years or so, I listen to the same old albums again and again. AndI think its enough to get me through this life. Rant rant rant rant.

I am so bored. Why do i get annoyed so easily. Like today in class I wanted to slap the idiot sitting in front of me for being so freaking ignorant and bashing America for invading Iraq. Sure sure its easy to pick on Big Ben than Tiny Tim. It's always easier to defend the underdogs. But KNOW what you're saying, don't just say it for the sake of the "pacifist trend". The idiot is wearing Nike from top to bottom and if you really want to take a piss on cruelty, start at home. Start with not wearing shoes that has 5 year old girls' blood on them.

Everything I say demands a long lengthy explanation but I've been through it too many times and i'm just tired. Tired of being human. Maybe I should have shark fin's soup everyday while claiming that I'm all for animal rights (Oh just the furry and cute ones).

Am I cynical? But I want to get married and have many kids and live happily ever after and some part of me believes it possible. Maybe I'm just wired wrong.

Ooookay.

Bai.

:(

Its weird, its something I hear people say often. I've never really related until last Wednesday when my phone got jacked.
I kind of like being phoneless. I feel just a little, liberated. I think I'm gonna stall getting another one.

The chemical burns on my fingers are almost fully recovered. Now a damp maroon. The painkillers were strong but after the 4th day i think that was just in my mind.

I don't want to watch Ghost Rider. Nicholas Cage and Eve Mendez? Ick. This is Ghost Rider not some soft movie about gardening and saving the life of a foal. I don't want to go to a club. I don't want to go near a mall. I don't want to see designer coffee cups. I don't want to go to college with stupid people. I don't want to be, can I still be me? Is it enough just knowing what I don't want?

At the rate things are going, in a couple of weeks I will be an island.
I will be alone. People only come when the decorations are up, when the doorknobs' warm. But when your bones are aching and your mind is still, so are they.

I'm running out of me. I have nothing left to offer. Pretty soon this will catch on and I'm certain only two or three would stay.

Winner and Champion once again.

We played monopoly again tonight.

On Wednesday Ham, Fye, Art, Ray and I played at Mc Ds. Ham won the first round with 10k.
I won the 2nd round with 6 while Rachel had to give me everything she had. I owned her ass!

Just now the 6 of us played. It wasn't planned but suddenly it was stoners against non-stoners. Pek San, Mun Fye and I were damn suay. I had 3 properties, Pek San had 2 and Fye had none while Rachel Melanie and Arthur had at least 6 each. After a while it seems the rich was getting richer and the poor another fate. We kept having to pay those 3 for landing on their properties.

Mun Fye sat there collecting cash from passing Go, adding it to what he already had seeing as he didnt get to buy a single thing. Pek San had 2 train stations and Oxford Street. I had my eye on the row of Yellows and Pek San had Piccadilly and Arthur had Conventry Street. After getting those off them, the non-stoners began to trade/argue. Mel had like 10 properties I don't know she kept buying and buying and had a small stack of property cards in her hand. Naturally, the stoners didn't want the chemist to win. She was being damnnn stingy while trading with Arthur who was getting red in the face from the excitement and the anger of Rachel not wanting to trade with him. Before, he had 7 properties, all different colors until I gave him my 2 properties for Conventry Street. So at this point I had all three Yellows and nothing else. The stoners are still on the losing end. Fye still had nothing and Pek San had his train stations plus Oxford Street. I kept losing money cause I keep landing on Income Tax and went to jail 3 times.

The non-stoners weren't afraid of me building cause it was obvious I didn't have much cash.

So Mun Fye came up with the "Triangular Trade". While the non-stoners were bickering, little did they know that the stoners had formed an alliance. Fye got Pek San to sell me his Frenchchurch station for 100, we told him to trust us that he will get it back. Knowing that I needed the money Fye said loudly "Eh La, you wanna sell me that station for 2500?" And I did. He said "I don't care if I lose, a stoner is gonna win!"

I started building hotels on the Yellow while the other non-stoners all had hotels up too. Pek San just could not land on his Green to build so when he lost the next thousand to me he gave me all his Greens (hehe) and I built hotels there. My were they popular!

From then on..somehow..I had hotels on the Brown, Yellow and Green. Everyone lost everything to me. I'm a winner, all stoners please rejoice. But since Fye bankrupt first we called him God of the Game.

Ownage!!

Lights on.

The impact was a mixture of the predicted and the unexpected. My investment fell through the floor as people turned on themselves.

Shit I can't write about the mundane. The little and meek writing I know is of the pain, sorrow and maybe anger. I sit here and rack my brain for a string of semi-interesting sentiments and my mind is blank. The kind of blank where its not that you're forgetting something, but your mind is not allowing you to remember. It's a thicker, dumber blank. Like trying to run underwater in a dream.

It's good to know that i can block out the memories; repress them, whatever. I've been 'Freudish' lately thanks to that chapter "Freud goes to California".

It's good that I can no longer belt out about the times. The times like when I wake up next morning curled on the bathroom floor, my head resting on a balled-up towel. When i stand up, i bring my hand to touch my arm where it had been in contact with the floor and my arm is cold, like a dead person.

Okay..looks like if i ventured on a little more, they do appear in the dark. Like a Joan Didion book. I'd walked into MPH for the 114th time asking for Burrough's Possible Side-Effects but end up with something else. But it wasn't the Joan Didion; close though, I wasn't feeling myself.

Until I bought the The Mammoth Book of War Correspondents.

I already have The Mammoth Book of True War Stories. Now all I need is the The Mammoth books of Historial Whodunnits and I'm like a pre-teen with her new magazines for the month. Short non-fiction stories can be just a good as the long ones o.O

Lychee Talk.

Mambo was fun-ish. Though most of the fun was in Terrace Bar. Remember i said i don't want tp drink anymore alcohol cause it doesn't taste good? Nemind la drink only la nothing better to do.

We are going to Maison tomorrow. Ray doesn't want to go because, and this is according to her that there are too many kids there. Kids she says. Anyhoo I haven't danced in a while and i want to.

I love my friends, those who were there and those who weren't. You fat and colorful people know who i'm talking about teeheehee.
Sounds so cheesy but if you met my gorgeous kind loving and giving friends you'll know whati'm talking about.

Look through me and see that my psyche is wedged in between theory and practice. I never quite lived up to everything I believe in. But I seem to understand that time has passed, that I am someone else now. Someone who is very much like what I was except.. back then i was strange. Now everything that made me strange has given me a family. They say blood is thicker than water. I say thats bullshit. Family is who you choose. My friends fills this cavity of who i am and who i want to be. I have done nothing to merit this love.. and this is what i believe is salvation.

Okeyyy I'm rambling and i think i might need to throw up. Bai!

Technicolors at the fount-tannn

A bunch of the Technicolors were at Seb Fountain last Friday, hehe can't help it. Got stuck with me since a year plus ago when Terence kept repeating Seb Fountain Seb Fountain. Terence who by the way spun a really good warm up set for Mr. Fountain. I don't know nuts about dance music but it definitely sounded good to my ears.

Tyler uploaded the pics on his multiply and I being a multiply photos leech of course nicked them and is postnig them here :D

Anyway my favourite picture of the night.

Hehe I think I give her that expression quitee often.

Mel and I with Andre! I swore his shirt was blue inside Zouk.

The ELs are back in action! Stel, Elle, Mel.

THe hell is wrong with my face?!

Happy! happy! happy?Eh I really didn't know lor. Otherwise I would have "pan" cute also hehe.

I MUST keep this picture forever. Bunny ears from Elle while my twin and i are being our usual selves.

Today today

This morning I got up extra early because we were to paint Ham's new house in Tanming Jaya. Rachel was really excited about it and even stayed home the night before so she could harvest energy for our project. Painting in whatever form, is always a treat.

She picks me up and we went for lunch. Then we chose paint together with Ham, Heng and Victor. Then we brought everything to the house and it started pouring. We ran like monkeys into the house and began vacuuming and cleaning the master bedroom.

See this house has been empty for a decade. No one has lived in this house for 10 years. We checked the furniture and chucked out whatever was unncessary. While cleaning Ray screamed. I thought, probably a cockroach. Then she screamed again, "Rats!" Half in disbelief (because she said rats, shit, plural, shit more than one) I walked over to where she was to see if there really were rats.

There were. Small ones. 2 maybe 3 inches long. I flinched and as i was about to yank her out of the room Heng came running in with a plastic broom going "Where?! WHERE?!"
Ray and i grabbed our bags and ran for it. In a couple of minutes she decided that she cannot stay. In that couple of minutes I nagged Ham about getting an exterminator AND calling them pest control people... YOU KNOW WHAT I WAS DOING I was crouching over rat dropping while lining the newspapers. Thinking they were i dont know something else we vacuumed it up. UGH.

Altogether there were 5 rats. Small ones. Imagine where the parents are. If there were 5 on the bed, this house is a freaking rat shack!
So we left, running in the rain with t-shirts over our head.

We drove back to Rachel's house; showered, ate and watched The Island. I was just about to take a nap because the night before I stupidly went to Mambo knowing I had a full tiring day the next day. Although we didn't do much I was damn tired. But Fye and Rachel had a Driving Range date and guess who got to be Little Miss Chirpy cheering them on. "Wow! Damn kau lousy that shot. Still wanna play ah?! Just give up now la"

After that we went to Pizza Uno, the only pizzas I eat in Malaysia, or in the world maybe. The only pizza i eat here is the one we make ourselves. Always: salami, pepperoni, anchovies and extra enchovies. ITS THE BOMB! I LOVE IT!

On the way home I felt really carsick and it was quite a long ride too so now that i'm home i'm actually very "vomittish" (as my dear sister Joyce would say) and its not a good feeling. I don't like to go to bed feeling vomittish. I'd rather sleep feelnig unvomittish. So i'm sitting here unsuccessfully recounting my day. Sorry if i sound choppy but i can barely string two thoughts together.

I'm just yakking yakking and yay, two fatties are online. Bye.

Sometimes.

The last post had "bugs". Am i right Ty? IT jargon or something, "bugs".

So anyway since I managed to get more pictures off Mel's multiply.

This is Mel's family. Her hubby is the charming one holding the ciggarette while the drunk one is his twin sister. I happened to be haha the evil spawn of man with the ciggarette while the guy in the middle is my half-brother from a different mother. The fella with the erm hat is Mel's brother while Chuan in grey stripes is her distant cousin. Together we are one sick group. But wait, I haven't told the Wizard of Oz story.

Oh and if you were a friend of mine I trust you would have met the enchanting Tyler Ng. Resident Setan slash the best friend anyone could wish for. See that face? He actually does it quite often, without realizing it.

Aran, the coolest dude. Really i mean, do you know any other guys who can pull off Dorothy?

I literally cannot live without them two. Without either I would have never lived to see today. You've saved my life and Mel has turned me into a Drama Queen.

Sometimes I just want to give Fye a hug and a medal.

Sometimes I want to kill her, most times I would kill for her. Sometimes he wants to kill me, other times he just lets me live.

The three legs of the tripod. When one falls, the others hover.

The halo and the horns. Love you both!


If I don't see them+AwesomeTwosome+Usualsuspects for a fortnight, I feel as if somethign is terrbly missing from my life.

Hapi Nu Year!

At midnight I got struck with streamers. I then hugged my loved ones. 2 minutes later I had faux snow in my left eye. White gunk in my eye!

All fair's in love, war and party streamers! I got my hands on 2 bottles but both were empty. But having the bottle in hand was good enough, as long as I hold both up in a threatening pose people stayed away. But not for long before they figure it out and I got blasted again -_-

We were upstairs of Zouk at the Recharge area leaning over and watching people on the dance floor. Rachel had a few too many sips of Long Island, Vodka Ribena, Screwdriver and whiskeycoke. Her behavior was an exaggerated version of normal. She was lolling about on the couch and while several people was fussing about her I popped my head in and she said "Hi Stel! I love you!" Then I asked her "Do you wanna go throw up in the toilet?" "NoooOoo. *giggles*"

"Okay then do you want a wedge of lime to suck on?" "Noooo. Hehehe." Siao.
"Do you wanna go get something to eat?? And she shook her head still smiling.
"Do you want me to throw you onto the dance floor?"
"YES! Hehehehehehe."

I tell you, that woman is nuts.

I missed the technicolor gang. I hope you guys were having a blast! I'll see you soon!!