What you gonna tell her, after she discovers, you don't really love her.

I have had Augusten Burroughs' Possible Side Effects for a few days now.

I am..sigh. I have all of Augusten Burroughs' books now. It's a collection. Now I've tried to collect many things, like all of the Ramones albums. All I have are unfinished collections of Guns and Roses, Smashing Pumpkins and RATM andd..probably some others. The only collections I have are when the band only has 2 or 3 albums. So it doesn't count cause you'd need the singles and okay nevermind.

He calls his dogs "animals plucked from nature." I do too!
And toward the end of the book he said, "And if given the oppourtunity, I'd eat Spam everyday for the rest of my life."
Augusten Burroughs, is my soulmate.

I hate those 'I am not a plastic bag' bags. I wonder if he does too. They are a mockery to environmentalists eveywhere, not that I'm one so I could be wrong. I hate baby tees (i also hate saying babyts) but anyway, I hate them with slogans on it. It's like Hello, I don't have a personality of my own so I really really need my shirt to give my identity some color or plain Lookie me! Lookie me! But you know what's funny, girls that wear cutesy shirts that says I need chocolate, Love me Love me or something stupid like that, have like this expression on their face that makes me think they have invisible shit smeared on their upper lip. Or maybe, someone hung their pet hamster on their clothesline, I don't know.

For Christmas last year, my sister bought me a bright pastel yellow shirt that says something along the lines of "Something something something, I threw an tantrum and got it". I thought it was thoroughly asinine. I was horrified. But delighted at the same time at its atrocity! But I love my sister to death so I wore it at home. So Joyce, now you know :D

Though..I like her shirt that says FreakHunter. Because it's green. It's the perfect shade of green. Then again thats not a freaking slogan.