I’m officially an insomniac.
It used to be sleep at 8am, get up at 4pm.
Don’t ask me how I lucked out that semester. Pure luck.
That was a year ago.
Then it was sleep at 5am, get up whenever there is classes.
Then it was sleep at 6am, get up at 10am.
Next it was sleep at 7am, get up at 9am.
Now I sleep once every two or three days.
Sleep has become the equivalent of eating bread.
I have bread about thrice a week so that’s about right.
When I do sleep, its when I’m extremely exhausted. It used to be good sleep that way because it works like how drugs do. The less often you partake of it, the stronger hence more satisfactory the high. But my biological clock is now haywire. I try to sleep and I can’t, I am tired beyond belief, my joints are aching but I still can’t sleep. I’m SO tired, I can’t sleep! Every position I try to sleep in is uncomfortable and I end up sitting on the side of the bed, head in my hands, pissed off that I can’t get any rest. It’s unreal.
So yea, admittedly, I got scared and decided to try harder to have some sort of a sleeping pattern.
12am I had cake while chatting with my sister Joyce, ma and daddy.
1am Helped Joyce with her General Paper homework. She just started A levels in Sunway and damn it she’s always outdoing me. 10As for her SPM and now she’s taking five (one more than I did) subjects for her A levels. I am so freaking proud of her. Even though she’s gonna be one of those weirdo Actuarial Scientists :D
2am Chatted on MSN for a while.
3am Read Carl Jung, trying to understand more of synchronicity. As I read I realized I’m linking theories back to Bruer and Frued’s Studies in Hysteria where they recorded this one particular testimony where patients would expose of the present but in another room and later on was able to see parts of the future. And that led me to think about Nostradamus and how he had predicted the coming of Hitler by name (though only missing one alphabet), 400 years before he was born. That of course led to me ponder on one of my favorite subjects, the Holocaust and I’m caught marveling at the sheer fortune of Solomon Perel’s whom as a Jew, saved his own life by disguising himself as an ethnic German and I reflected upon all he had to do and how his heart could have survived such twisted blows.
4.30am I’m lying in bed and staring at the ceiling. Man I’m so freaking bored. I picked up my phone and looked through the sms’ that I couldn’t reply before because I was broke :D
4.45am I replied my ex-classmate Suk Yee. No reply, must be tired after doing homework :D
I replied Jason. No reply, must be tired after work.
I replied Daniella and she replied almost immediately. Scared me a bit when the message toned beeped. Didn’t expect anyone to reply. I just like pissing people off.
I replied Dave. No reply, geeks sleep early.
I replied Harmony and his reply was
IS THIS STELLA? SHIT I LOST YOUR NUMBER. I BLOODY MISSED MY FLIGHT TODAY.
Yup. In caps. And I’m like, why the hell is he shouting at me la.
Then I said “sucks to be you, whats with men and missing flights.”
Actually its just my ex-boyfriends. All 3 of them o_O
5.30am I picked up my old and tattered Chronicles of Narnia, not really reading but studying the illustrations by Pauline Baynes.
6am Still freaking wide awake, staring at the same bloody spot on the ceiling. I can’t even see the spot I’m staring at cause it’s so dark. Damn it, sat on the side of the bed, shaking my right leg in annoyance.
6.15am My phone rang, Harmony.
Hey, guess what I’m doing now.
Playing the piano? Eh is it even guessable?
Yes, you’d be able to guess.
Wait, the clue is coming.
I waited. Nothing also.
It’s kittens! I’m feeding my kittens.
Shit. Almost forgot he used to loveeeeeee cats. The first month we were going out 4 years ago, he would take me to see kittens all the time. Wahlau, who’s the girl now oh :P Scratch that, not just the first month. It went on for a longggg time.
And I ended up liking cats. I hate the idea of enslaving animals. They should all run free. I HATE pet shops, I can’t bear to see animals in cages. I never understood how people would stroll into a pet store and coo at the animals in their cages. Can’t you see they are sad!!? They want to be set free into their natural habitat, not have you make stupid monkey faces at them! That’s all I can think of doing whenever I come NEAR a pet store, run in with a gun and free all the animals, fish included. Actually I think the part with the gun appeals most to me, maybe that’s why I want to free the animals. Okay no, I’m just bored. It’s 6.35 in the morning.
6.36am My dad walked out of the room. He looks slightly dejected.
Hi Daddy, looking forward to Cameron Highlands with the nupsies?”
When I know for a fact he doesn’t enjoy these trips with my mom and her friends and their husbands.
He grunted at me as a reply. Then suddenly perked up.
Hey guess what I have as my phone wallpaper?
I looked, Is that our grapes? Lychee? Longan?
It’s from our palm trees in front of the house. You never noticed our palm trees? Go and look later. To prove it you take a picture of it with your phone camera and MMS it to me.
MMS?! I don’t even know what that is. Wahlau damn lansi ever since his friend said he was tech savvy.
6.45am Harmony called again.
Why aren’t you sleeping?
I don’t sleep much. And I had to be awake early anyway.
My dad, gotta make sure he goes on this trip with my mom and her friends. He doesn’t like going on these outings, remember?
Of course he doesn’t want to go, he’s a guy.
There are other guys there too, husbands of my moms’ friends.
Well, he’s a real man.
Wah I like that answer!
7am Convinced father of mine to go on trip. Promised him I’d psycho Joyce into taking ACCA instead. I doubt she’d go for it. She can be such a bitch. When she was deciding on a course and college to go to, I suggested
Taylor’s la. Best place to go for Cambridge A Levels.
Please la. Like I want to go to school with a bunch of pretentious kids.
Eh come LimKokWing la. Then you can pretend to be my friend since I don’t have any there.
NO WAY. Over my dead body! I am NOT going to a school filled to the brim with wannabes.
Yeah I know..sometimes I just want to shoot someone. Or everyone.
Stop it with the gun thing.
I’m officially a psycho.
Time to shower and go for Dim Sum with (hey I need a nickname for him, haha CranB? hahahahahha just kidding! siao) him.
Last night he said he wanted to take me for good Dim Sum.
Okay, that’s nice.
It’s in Old Klang Road.
Sure sure let’s go.
Gotta go early, about 8 okay?
Got Dim Sum at night one meh?
In the morning la girl.
And here’s where I am.
Fucking cheong hei post. Look Ty! Sad sad reading material for you.