Broken Hallelujah.

The past months has been baffling. I sit and count the reasons to why I am here today. As I always say "We can only live our own experience."
I'm bound, broken and alone.

Sat on my desk and propped my legs over the window sill for 4 hours, staring at streetlights and the turtle-shaped tree in my neighbor's backyard. My nerves constantly tossed around like a salad. Suddenly, it's not enough. The unconditional love my friends extend, the constant company I have day after day, they don't seem to be able to fuel my existence. I am comfortable taking steps backward, tripping along the way.
I've been pushed away one too many times, its no wonder I can only move one way. I'm only waiting for the next shove. Nevertheless, I'm not prepared.

Once, my ceiling was beaten down by daydreams and idle thoughts. Now I am infected with nightmares and mobile fears.