Saturday, December 03, 2005

Ever the activist, no?

Someone told me the other day that my entries seem to lack substance compared to my past entries in my previous blog. Hobbes herself said "Stel, you sound like a bimbo!" and she has never been audacious enough to say that (to my face anyway) before, prior to this little transformation. I have no idea what this really means as my purging feels the same. However there has been change in my current life(style). Let's just say I've loosened up and am no longer hold to a fault my stance that I am a pacifist who at the same time is not anti-war (anyone who has a problem with my "semantics" on this one, let me know). I refrain from lecturing friends who pay Mobil for their petrol, and I curse much less at those seen sporting Nike merchandise. I am okay with having McDonalds, once in a blue moon and 3 months back I actually ordered a Coke when that was all they had apart from Pepsi. I have completely stopped glaring at patrons of Starbucks since I find myself actually removing bills from my wallet and hanging it over to "they who exploit third world labor and put on the market unfair trade coffee" for a bottle of Nantucket juice. I don't despise hiphop as I used to because it lacks guitar riffs and its' lyrics are basically a narrative of anything sex, money, sex, material possessions, sex, cheap hos', even more despicable men, sex and the occasional Gucci hat; I dance to it every Thursday.

I was labelled a radical o_O yea, I know right? (har-har) but I've devolved into a borderline conformist. My actions have ceased to require ludicrous article reading. I have learnt to "play ignorant" and keep my mouth shut. My conscience still bugs me out sometimes and I can't help kicking myself for being such a sheep but I've been frigid in the past and its time to goddamn breathe.

A couple of hours ago I was having coffee at Seri Angkasa, KL Tower after dinner at Bon Ton (yummmm) when there was a display of big-boom fireworks. I love fireworks. We sat there entralled, quiet, staring for what seemed to be 15 whole minutes and when it ended, we looked around at each other, "Looks like we came on the right day", "Yeah, what a treat. That was so cool!", smiling around when I felt it coming. My smile twitched. I suppressed it for a good 8 seconds when I spat it out, quiteee involuntarily *smirk, faintly but steadily,

"Now all we have to worry about is the emission of that sulphur dioxide into our atmosphere and risk respiratory tract infections *pause especially on newborn infants"
Fuck. I ruined it.

See I really should have said, "I love fireworks, only not in theory."


5 comments:

laineylashes said...

hahahaha firework. *sigh*..oh mei..why do you do that to yourself?

Stella said...

do what to myself? be conscious about air pollution? hehh.

unkle bus said...

its not so much "devolving" into a somewhat conformist but perhaps just waiting for the right time to act. timing is everything ;) if the majority had a clue of what they believe and took a stance in the world would be a much better place... dont you think?

Stella said...

evolving would be to progress.
i fell back into a weaker stance.
you're right, but believing is tiring. fighting is tiring. i'm spent maybe.

ezra said...

if you can't beat them, join 'em.
go shorty, it's your burfday.