I think real life doesn't begin until you've created life. Rare indeed is a person whose views never change throughout her life and I think in this case I have never changed my mind. I don't know where it began but I can't remember a time I didn't feel this way.
I have had a quiet few months these months. Months full of reflection, of betterment and shifts to affirm accountability. Ham has brought out a side in me that is docile and cool. For the first time ever I can experience calm during a hurricane. There is no need for me to shout to get my point across, there is no need for yelling and no need to damage the things around us. He's made me understand that.
I've felt that kind of love that was so intense and exciting that it interfered with sleep and appetite. But love has now well changed I would say to something deeper and mroe comfortable. It's not only based on feeling but its based on will, on putting greater importance on the things that make us us than just what is oneself.
I have learnt to seek the happiness of others before my own. However my version of happiness and ambition disappoints a fair few. My lack of concern over the $$$ appears to be very unrealistic. But here see I am realistic enough to be content with the dream I'm living than to be chasing another.
Here's an excerpt from one of my favourite favourite writers, Mr. CS Lewis:
"Indeed the best thing about happiness itself is that is liberates you from thinking about happiness- as the greatest pleasure that money can give us is to make it unnecessary to think about money..."