Tuesday, October 03, 2006

A million degrees away.

I think 80% of the people in my life see me as a failure of some sort. The other 20% I would come to meet in the future. My sisters Joyce and Esther, along with both my parents are not included in this 100% because they are my life and I theirs. This 80% see only two or three I don’t know, divisions of me, all of which they believe require some form modification for the better or for an “improved lifestyle.” They say "Oh Stella has so much potential, if only she does/doesn't..." Who doesn't have potential? Who shouldn't have dos or donts? The choices I've made so far, good or bad, has made part of me. And if I'm any worse than the next person, so be it. I am human.

We are made up of our choices, I suppose. But there are many things beyond choice. I used to be bullshit-intolerant. I had very few friends and a whole lot of angst. Now I've chosen to practice tolerance and come to accept that there will always be more of those whom with I would not see eye to eye. In fact, there more people there are out there who disagrees with me, the better. Shows that I don't go "Baa." Although.. some things don't change; I don't have swarms friends but the few that I can call a friend will undoubtedly be more than enough.

Anyway I watched V for Vendetta last night. I can't remember who it was who told me I'd like it but he was right. So disturbing, I sat and thought about it for half an hour after and still felt the chills. Khai Lee told me I'd like Syriana and I've yet so watch that so I must find the DVD. And I NEED The Motorcycle Diaries. I need a lot of things, if only I want them enough.

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