:(

Its weird, its something I hear people say often. I've never really related until last Wednesday when my phone got jacked.
I kind of like being phoneless. I feel just a little, liberated. I think I'm gonna stall getting another one.

The chemical burns on my fingers are almost fully recovered. Now a damp maroon. The painkillers were strong but after the 4th day i think that was just in my mind.

I don't want to watch Ghost Rider. Nicholas Cage and Eve Mendez? Ick. This is Ghost Rider not some soft movie about gardening and saving the life of a foal. I don't want to go to a club. I don't want to go near a mall. I don't want to see designer coffee cups. I don't want to go to college with stupid people. I don't want to be, can I still be me? Is it enough just knowing what I don't want?

At the rate things are going, in a couple of weeks I will be an island.
I will be alone. People only come when the decorations are up, when the doorknobs' warm. But when your bones are aching and your mind is still, so are they.

I'm running out of me. I have nothing left to offer. Pretty soon this will catch on and I'm certain only two or three would stay.

Winner and Champion once again.

We played monopoly again tonight.

On Wednesday Ham, Fye, Art, Ray and I played at Mc Ds. Ham won the first round with 10k.
I won the 2nd round with 6 while Rachel had to give me everything she had. I owned her ass!

Just now the 6 of us played. It wasn't planned but suddenly it was stoners against non-stoners. Pek San, Mun Fye and I were damn suay. I had 3 properties, Pek San had 2 and Fye had none while Rachel Melanie and Arthur had at least 6 each. After a while it seems the rich was getting richer and the poor another fate. We kept having to pay those 3 for landing on their properties.

Mun Fye sat there collecting cash from passing Go, adding it to what he already had seeing as he didnt get to buy a single thing. Pek San had 2 train stations and Oxford Street. I had my eye on the row of Yellows and Pek San had Piccadilly and Arthur had Conventry Street. After getting those off them, the non-stoners began to trade/argue. Mel had like 10 properties I don't know she kept buying and buying and had a small stack of property cards in her hand. Naturally, the stoners didn't want the chemist to win. She was being damnnn stingy while trading with Arthur who was getting red in the face from the excitement and the anger of Rachel not wanting to trade with him. Before, he had 7 properties, all different colors until I gave him my 2 properties for Conventry Street. So at this point I had all three Yellows and nothing else. The stoners are still on the losing end. Fye still had nothing and Pek San had his train stations plus Oxford Street. I kept losing money cause I keep landing on Income Tax and went to jail 3 times.

The non-stoners weren't afraid of me building cause it was obvious I didn't have much cash.

So Mun Fye came up with the "Triangular Trade". While the non-stoners were bickering, little did they know that the stoners had formed an alliance. Fye got Pek San to sell me his Frenchchurch station for 100, we told him to trust us that he will get it back. Knowing that I needed the money Fye said loudly "Eh La, you wanna sell me that station for 2500?" And I did. He said "I don't care if I lose, a stoner is gonna win!"

I started building hotels on the Yellow while the other non-stoners all had hotels up too. Pek San just could not land on his Green to build so when he lost the next thousand to me he gave me all his Greens (hehe) and I built hotels there. My were they popular!

From then on..somehow..I had hotels on the Brown, Yellow and Green. Everyone lost everything to me. I'm a winner, all stoners please rejoice. But since Fye bankrupt first we called him God of the Game.

Ownage!!

Lights on.

The impact was a mixture of the predicted and the unexpected. My investment fell through the floor as people turned on themselves.

Shit I can't write about the mundane. The little and meek writing I know is of the pain, sorrow and maybe anger. I sit here and rack my brain for a string of semi-interesting sentiments and my mind is blank. The kind of blank where its not that you're forgetting something, but your mind is not allowing you to remember. It's a thicker, dumber blank. Like trying to run underwater in a dream.

It's good to know that i can block out the memories; repress them, whatever. I've been 'Freudish' lately thanks to that chapter "Freud goes to California".

It's good that I can no longer belt out about the times. The times like when I wake up next morning curled on the bathroom floor, my head resting on a balled-up towel. When i stand up, i bring my hand to touch my arm where it had been in contact with the floor and my arm is cold, like a dead person.

Okay..looks like if i ventured on a little more, they do appear in the dark. Like a Joan Didion book. I'd walked into MPH for the 114th time asking for Burrough's Possible Side-Effects but end up with something else. But it wasn't the Joan Didion; close though, I wasn't feeling myself.

Until I bought the The Mammoth Book of War Correspondents.

I already have The Mammoth Book of True War Stories. Now all I need is the The Mammoth books of Historial Whodunnits and I'm like a pre-teen with her new magazines for the month. Short non-fiction stories can be just a good as the long ones o.O

Lychee Talk.

Mambo was fun-ish. Though most of the fun was in Terrace Bar. Remember i said i don't want tp drink anymore alcohol cause it doesn't taste good? Nemind la drink only la nothing better to do.

We are going to Maison tomorrow. Ray doesn't want to go because, and this is according to her that there are too many kids there. Kids she says. Anyhoo I haven't danced in a while and i want to.

I love my friends, those who were there and those who weren't. You fat and colorful people know who i'm talking about teeheehee.
Sounds so cheesy but if you met my gorgeous kind loving and giving friends you'll know whati'm talking about.

Look through me and see that my psyche is wedged in between theory and practice. I never quite lived up to everything I believe in. But I seem to understand that time has passed, that I am someone else now. Someone who is very much like what I was except.. back then i was strange. Now everything that made me strange has given me a family. They say blood is thicker than water. I say thats bullshit. Family is who you choose. My friends fills this cavity of who i am and who i want to be. I have done nothing to merit this love.. and this is what i believe is salvation.

Okeyyy I'm rambling and i think i might need to throw up. Bai!

Technicolors at the fount-tannn

A bunch of the Technicolors were at Seb Fountain last Friday, hehe can't help it. Got stuck with me since a year plus ago when Terence kept repeating Seb Fountain Seb Fountain. Terence who by the way spun a really good warm up set for Mr. Fountain. I don't know nuts about dance music but it definitely sounded good to my ears.

Tyler uploaded the pics on his multiply and I being a multiply photos leech of course nicked them and is postnig them here :D

Anyway my favourite picture of the night.

Hehe I think I give her that expression quitee often.

Mel and I with Andre! I swore his shirt was blue inside Zouk.

The ELs are back in action! Stel, Elle, Mel.

THe hell is wrong with my face?!

Happy! happy! happy?Eh I really didn't know lor. Otherwise I would have "pan" cute also hehe.

I MUST keep this picture forever. Bunny ears from Elle while my twin and i are being our usual selves.

Today today

This morning I got up extra early because we were to paint Ham's new house in Tanming Jaya. Rachel was really excited about it and even stayed home the night before so she could harvest energy for our project. Painting in whatever form, is always a treat.

She picks me up and we went for lunch. Then we chose paint together with Ham, Heng and Victor. Then we brought everything to the house and it started pouring. We ran like monkeys into the house and began vacuuming and cleaning the master bedroom.

See this house has been empty for a decade. No one has lived in this house for 10 years. We checked the furniture and chucked out whatever was unncessary. While cleaning Ray screamed. I thought, probably a cockroach. Then she screamed again, "Rats!" Half in disbelief (because she said rats, shit, plural, shit more than one) I walked over to where she was to see if there really were rats.

There were. Small ones. 2 maybe 3 inches long. I flinched and as i was about to yank her out of the room Heng came running in with a plastic broom going "Where?! WHERE?!"
Ray and i grabbed our bags and ran for it. In a couple of minutes she decided that she cannot stay. In that couple of minutes I nagged Ham about getting an exterminator AND calling them pest control people... YOU KNOW WHAT I WAS DOING I was crouching over rat dropping while lining the newspapers. Thinking they were i dont know something else we vacuumed it up. UGH.

Altogether there were 5 rats. Small ones. Imagine where the parents are. If there were 5 on the bed, this house is a freaking rat shack!
So we left, running in the rain with t-shirts over our head.

We drove back to Rachel's house; showered, ate and watched The Island. I was just about to take a nap because the night before I stupidly went to Mambo knowing I had a full tiring day the next day. Although we didn't do much I was damn tired. But Fye and Rachel had a Driving Range date and guess who got to be Little Miss Chirpy cheering them on. "Wow! Damn kau lousy that shot. Still wanna play ah?! Just give up now la"

After that we went to Pizza Uno, the only pizzas I eat in Malaysia, or in the world maybe. The only pizza i eat here is the one we make ourselves. Always: salami, pepperoni, anchovies and extra enchovies. ITS THE BOMB! I LOVE IT!

On the way home I felt really carsick and it was quite a long ride too so now that i'm home i'm actually very "vomittish" (as my dear sister Joyce would say) and its not a good feeling. I don't like to go to bed feeling vomittish. I'd rather sleep feelnig unvomittish. So i'm sitting here unsuccessfully recounting my day. Sorry if i sound choppy but i can barely string two thoughts together.

I'm just yakking yakking and yay, two fatties are online. Bye.

Sometimes.

The last post had "bugs". Am i right Ty? IT jargon or something, "bugs".

So anyway since I managed to get more pictures off Mel's multiply.

This is Mel's family. Her hubby is the charming one holding the ciggarette while the drunk one is his twin sister. I happened to be haha the evil spawn of man with the ciggarette while the guy in the middle is my half-brother from a different mother. The fella with the erm hat is Mel's brother while Chuan in grey stripes is her distant cousin. Together we are one sick group. But wait, I haven't told the Wizard of Oz story.

Oh and if you were a friend of mine I trust you would have met the enchanting Tyler Ng. Resident Setan slash the best friend anyone could wish for. See that face? He actually does it quite often, without realizing it.

Aran, the coolest dude. Really i mean, do you know any other guys who can pull off Dorothy?

I literally cannot live without them two. Without either I would have never lived to see today. You've saved my life and Mel has turned me into a Drama Queen.

Sometimes I just want to give Fye a hug and a medal.

Sometimes I want to kill her, most times I would kill for her. Sometimes he wants to kill me, other times he just lets me live.

The three legs of the tripod. When one falls, the others hover.

The halo and the horns. Love you both!


If I don't see them+AwesomeTwosome+Usualsuspects for a fortnight, I feel as if somethign is terrbly missing from my life.

Hapi Nu Year!

At midnight I got struck with streamers. I then hugged my loved ones. 2 minutes later I had faux snow in my left eye. White gunk in my eye!

All fair's in love, war and party streamers! I got my hands on 2 bottles but both were empty. But having the bottle in hand was good enough, as long as I hold both up in a threatening pose people stayed away. But not for long before they figure it out and I got blasted again -_-

We were upstairs of Zouk at the Recharge area leaning over and watching people on the dance floor. Rachel had a few too many sips of Long Island, Vodka Ribena, Screwdriver and whiskeycoke. Her behavior was an exaggerated version of normal. She was lolling about on the couch and while several people was fussing about her I popped my head in and she said "Hi Stel! I love you!" Then I asked her "Do you wanna go throw up in the toilet?" "NoooOoo. *giggles*"

"Okay then do you want a wedge of lime to suck on?" "Noooo. Hehehe." Siao.
"Do you wanna go get something to eat?? And she shook her head still smiling.
"Do you want me to throw you onto the dance floor?"
"YES! Hehehehehehe."

I tell you, that woman is nuts.

I missed the technicolor gang. I hope you guys were having a blast! I'll see you soon!!

Jimmy 1 - Joyce 0

My sister was watching TV when my dad sat on the couch across hers and reached for the remote. Joyce quickly said "I was here first daddy. Don't change the channel."

My dad frowned for a moment then smiled and asked "Have you showered?" Knowing very well she hasn't because she's still in her jeans.

"No, later la."
"Go shower now Joyce."
"Nope. I'm watching my show." Not taking her eyes off the screen.

Dad looked her her, blinked. In 3 seconds he yelled, "Lilllyyyyyyyyy (my mom), Joyce haven't taken her bathhhh."

Joyce sat up and stared at my dad wit her eyes wide open. We all know how my mom is about showers. You HAVE to shower. She makes you shower even if you've just showered.

My mom stood up from the dinner table and went "Joyce! Go and take your bath now! So dirty! How can you come home and sit down and not shower first! GO NOW!"

Joyce took her bag, stood up and shot my dad a dirty look while he looks on happily then grabbed the remote and switched it to Discovery.

Christmas Talk.

Mel and Fye came over at 1am while I was still decorating my brownies. Happy Christmas!

We lit up a doobie in a my room and the nonsense began.

Mel: I don't do this. I'm a chemist la.
Fye: Yeah yeah I'm a herbalist.
Stel: Hey! That makes me what, a Worldwide Medicine Connoisseur with a PHD in Herbs!
Fye: Hahaha FDA tester la!

*hahaha hehehe kekeke muahahaha*

Mel: Nolah you're DBKL, everything also take.

Sigh. Happy Christmas!

Dumbo in Mambo.

L to R: Julian, Rachel, Me, Arthur, Melissa, Bonnie and Fye. Eh where's Tyler! Shit he's the one taking the pic for us. He's the man you know!

A bunch of us went to Mambo last Wednesday. However although I liked the Sardines game when I was young, I couldn't stomach it for a club. There was no one single idiot to laugh at at the end (okay maybe got hehe). Oh and because Bonnie had suede shoes on and Melissa was only 20. I didn't know she's only 20. She's moving on to the 3rd year at the University of Warwick!

That's Melissa next to me. She too hasn't been back in 2 years.

Bonnie and I. We've been friends since before she had braces. She hasn't been back to Malaysia for 2 years so imagine my joy seeing her again.

I was in Velvet for a couple of minutes and was feeling sucky with my darlinggggg friends sitting at Terrace Bar outside. A few more minutes passed and I was getting more and more annoyed as I passed so I grabbed the bottle of Jack and walked out of Velvet. I went up to Ivan and said "I rather drink this in Terrace Bar la." He laughed and took the bottle from me and we walked toward my friends. He set up the nice table for us and got us free mixers. Yay Ivan. Yay Tyler the man too.

After having supper at Petaling Street some came over and we watched Rules of Attraction. Not a bad movie.

Highlight of my Christmas Eve.

Apart from it being my dearrr dearrrr sister's birthday of course.

We were to have dinner with my sister and her significant other tonight. Except he took her to Malacca early this morning so they might not make it back in time, either that or they will be really late. So Ham and I went out to the Sunway Fatman Steamboat outside of 7-11.

In conjunction with Christmas Eve, the uncle set up one of the pots with oil so that you can have your food fried! So cool! He only does it 4 times a year. Plus he was really nice too and fried your food for you himself because the rain was causing the oil to pop up quite a bit.

At first it was just Ham and I, then this two ladies came by. He told us that if the fried food wasn't good we didn't need to pay! He continued to tell us that he himself can eat 10 sticks of fried foo chuk, easily! One of the ladies had some fried stuff and when the uncle asked her if it was good she said "I wanted to lie and say it wasn't good so I can have it for free hehe. But it's really good."

Everyone was laughing and talking when two indian dudes came by. They were obviously regulars. The uncle promoted his fried food and said to them "If not good no need to pay!" The indian dude replied "Eh don't la like that!" and under those circumstances I found that phrase really funny and couldn't stop laughing into my fish balls.

The uncle professed "I not bluffing! My business ah, I won't bluff one. Banks can bluff, insurance can bluff. Food cannot bluff one, not good."

Such a nice guy I tell you! The atmosphere was warm and fuzzy despite the rain. Everyone laughing and joking with each other. It was at this exact moment I felt the Christmas spirit fuzz within my belly.

Steak Pt 3

So the day after that "Closed on Tuesday" fiasco, Ham took me to Cowboy; this very western restaurant by the Kelana Jaya lake. He's always preaching about the steak there, how good it is and etc and since the first two times there I didn't have the steak I had it that night.

Wah their black pepper sauce is out of this world. I was literally salivating WHILE eating my steak. Soooo freaking good.

Today is Joyce's birthday and because I'm such a fantastic sister, Ham and I are taking her and her boyfriend to Cowboy for steaks. I bought 2 bottles of our favourite Eva sparkling juice and Ham got some red wine for him and Voonz.

I've stopped drinking alcohol completely. For the past year I drink it in clubs and bars because well everyone has bottles and bla so it's easier to just drink whats there. But I don't like the taste at all. Plus it doesn't give me "a goos buzz". So I thought, and as Elle has said, what's the point of drinking something you don't like?

Since my parents are always making us girls drink Cranberry juice. So when I'm out late at a club or a bar I compensate my parents by being a good girl and drinking Cranberry juice all through the night. Yum.

Muh Steakkkk..

At 3pm the other day I went over to Ham's house. At 5pm I called Fye. "We are having steaks tonight."I called Pek San and he said he's game. At 6pm Fye said he didnt have any petrol and he's broke so Ham and I took a cab over to his place to fill up his gas. Then we thought might as well go in one car so we called San to come pick us up. It was jam hour so it took him 45 minutes to come over. Most of them was bitching about not wanting to have steaks but I didn't care. Steaks!!!

Then we thought why not see if Bonnie's free. She hasnt been back in 2 years and doesn't have a handphone. Her family moved and the new home number she gave us was wrong somehow o.O

We drove over there; another long ass ride and yay she was free for dinner. I told her about steak. Good steak at a mamak, inexpensive and just about the best steak in town. So off we went. It took us almost an hour to get into KL and another half an hour to get into Ampang. Plus San's car isn't the most comfortable car for five. He himself said he's never had so many people in his car. It's a small Suzuki Vitara. The backseat's really small and the ride was freaking uncomfortable. I tried not to throw up even though I got really car sick.

"All this just for your steak Stel!" Bonnie.I'd be damned if its closed.
As we got there we drove past and Ham joked that it was closed. Very funny, HAHA.

We parked and walked toward the place.

(Closed on Tuesdays)

Just let me die la. Just let me die.

Most of the usual suspects @ Zoukout 2006

Joachim showing off his glow-in-the-dark shorts in the room before the rave. Peewit!!

Andrea and Cameron rushing to party! Teehee.
The Awesome Twosome chilling on the beach.

Smile! It's Zoukout! This gentlemen bought me ice-cream so that he could flirt with the ice-cream girl -_- Smooooothh!

Elle and Laboo :D

Uhm, party favors? Hehehehehehhe.

UnkleBus and Laboo, dunno whats wrong with them.

Happy Andre with a not so happy me because it was starting to get really hot and my eyeliner was dripping off my face.
Joachim and Shorty.
Mervin and Fatty.
Me with Mr. Loh and Mr Fitness.

There weren't much pictures because most of the night was spent having a good time ;) And a good time it was! Although we missed Mel and Eve. If there's one next year, we'll make sure all if able to go!

Nutcases.

Wah the anger. Already know I dowan fast food. Jo was saying "Elephant drive-thru" repeatedly. So i repeated also "Elephant drive-thru?" Then she doubled over and laughed and said "Let's go drive-thru" hhahha

Then Jordan's other phone went missing when the phone that he had rang. So i said "Eh your phone calling you ler"

Okay we ended up at McDs at 15. I damn respect Jordang because instead of using the tiny plastic plates for ketchup he used the drink cover hahahahhahha. Imagine the drink cover overflowing with ketchup hahaha. So Jo was telling this story about her friends who just had their first child, and how the husband was so irritated at their baby because he kept crying every night that he wanted to throw it over the balcony. So obviously i said "Wah thats damn shit wei."

Then Fye said that when he has his baby and if the baby doesn't want to drink milk. He would pour milk powder into the baby's mouth, then pour hot water inside and then shake the baby hard hard and then punch the baby in the face so that the baby would swallow it.

Everyone was laughing hard but i didn't find it funny. Until I said "Thats why your face like that la!"

Hmph. Shows him right for telling stupid stories about boiling babies in oil.

Beef.

I really want to have steak lor.
For the past hour its been..
Me: Babeeeee I want steakkkkk
Ham: Come eat my steak la
Me: WTF I want the black pepper medium rare one.
Fye: Eat yourself la. Beef Chop.

Then I texted Rachel telling her I want specifically, Suzy's Corner Ampang's steak.
Then Pek San also.

But nobody layan you know!!!

If it was Rachel or Melanie who wanted to eat something badly everyone would fly to get them there bvut if its me, NO. Just let her rot here. Let her saliva infest her keyboard while she angrily dreams about her steak.

Please la.. Do I ask for a lot? Do i get huffy and puffy if i really want something? I let it slide okay! I eat what everyone wants to eat okay! Today I want to have steak hou mou! Wahlauehhhhh. Last week went to Chandelier the steak damn yuck, now I wanna have cheap but better steak in Suzy's cannot?!

Ham and Fye are happily taking turns playing Dota while the other plays cheerleader from behind. Every 15 seconds I'd say "Wey..I really want to eat steak one lor..."

"La, you wanted that since just now."

"I wanna eat steak leh..."

*silence* *keyboard tapping* *triple killll*

Damn tulan you know!

"I bet ar if i was one of those skinny skinny girls that can't eat much and then say wanna eat steak everyone will hump through hoops to get me steak. In fact it would be a fucking field trip! We'd turn it into some WWF charity event! BUT because I'm a fucking fatso nobody gives a shit if i want to have steak!"

*silence*

Then Fye pipes up. "It's true lor.."

On friendship elevated.

It's funny how in some actions you can experience words.
This was our trip to Malacca. The full album is here.

Rachel said something to me on friendship a while back and I remember it word for word.
"It's about leaning on each other when we have a problem, appreciating that we've got someone who gives a shit and knowing that while you aren't being very sane, they still put up with you and next time you'll do the same for them."

She's not being very sane in some of the pictures but as you can see I put up with her insanity while she puts up with mine.

While Mel is away and can be difficult (and its difficult for me when she's away), sometimes I want to strangle her. But as difficult we can be I know she will afford me that same luxury she herself expects. In fact I wouldn't call it friendship. It's this unbreakable bond and sometimes I feel I would be nothing without the people I love.

To those I look up to [Ellie & Perry]

To those I respect [Tyler & Aran]

To those I cherish forever and ever amen [Fattys you know who you are]

LIFE IS GEWDS!

We R Bakers.

Everything's been good to me this past month. Yes everything, even inanimate objects :P
So Rachel, Mun Fye and Pek San is back. Everyday I get to see all or at least two of them. Life is good.
Until Rachel tries to bake.

Yankee (in the middle) graduated the Cordon Bleu in Sydney a couple of years back. That guy Loong is one of his current students. Rachel just there to cari pasal.

Hehe *flap flap flap*

Squeeze! The orange.. :P Lamamity points please.

I is baker! Hardly la its a chilled cheesecake haha.

Yankee's toolbox, damn cool!


Boiling the orange juice with sugar.

She not only has her head in the clouds, she got them in her hands.


Looks like heaven right. Nice fridge.
Arthur thats a cake, not a Cornetto ice-cream cone thing.

Yummy yummy cheesecake!