the hax philes.

This might just be goodbye.

2007-11-17T03:10:00.000+11:00

I shouldn't have a blog.

I started one because I was once sad and angry and I needed to vent so that I wouldn't go out and commit murder. I wrote and wrote in anger in pain and with sorrow.

Now that I'm perfectly happy and carefree it seems quite pointless to keep this running. Happy shiny nonsense of mine shouldn't be taking up internet space or whatever you call it. It's just not me I feel.

I looked back at my posts for the past year and even the year before and I'm like what is all this nonsense! What the hell am I going on about. It's just nonsense for the sake of keeping something dead alive. Pointless.

Domestic huh.

2007-11-15T16:47:00.000+11:00

Look what Rachel got me from Melbourne! So cool, on the far left its a microwavable egg boiler! You can make instant half or hard boiled eggs! In the middle its tis cup and spoon thing where you can eat eggs out of and on the right its a spatula and pan for frying eggs! She also bought me an apron, which I've mentioned I wanted and she got it in my favourite color (green) and favourite pattern (polka dots). Whee!

She uh made me try it on.

Of babies and such.

2007-11-15T04:45:00.000+11:00

So I was out Sunday afternoon with 2 very very cool guys. I've met like 10 cool guys my entire life so yeah this was a treat haha.

Zhao Kun and I had lunch at Oriental Cravings and when Jon came by we went for dessert at Delicious. Jon and desserts come together I don't know why. Only thing is he always goes for these weird desserts whereas I always go for the usual chocolatey stuff so I think we make a good dessert team.

Jon's my oldest guy friend, in case I haven't already mentioned it before. He's also this person who has shaped a lot of who I am and I don't know, he's just special. Anyway, he told me to blog about him and ZK yakking away about hm was it New Zealand or football? Could be the All Blacks. (Told you I'd forget)

After 1utama, Zhao Kun took me back to his house to see his newborn nephew! He knows I love babies and since we were young and when ZK had told me that he wanted to be a doctor I've always said "Peads! Peads!" and guess what, he's almost done with GP thingy and will most probably go into Peads! Peads! Haha. Okay anyway.

This is Rian Kye Friedmann!

The pictures above was when he was about 2 weeks old. The pictures below are from his full-moon party. His features changed a little bit its so cool!

Uncle Zhao Kun. So fitting la this title haha. ZK and I were pretty close friends since I was 13 or 14. And one of the things we'd always talk about was children. Not having them together or anything but just having them and how they think and how they can suprise you.

I can't wait to be a mom.

Snore

2007-11-03T23:24:00.000+11:00

Had bad bad gastric the past couple of days. I've had gastric pains many times but this time the pain aws ten-fold and I almost wished I was dead. Was rushed to the hospital and had 11 needles poked into me but in the end the doctor couldnt help because I didn't want to be admitted. Ham nursed me back to health so I'm better now and can actually face the computer screen. Spent 3 days in a fetal position not even having the energy to get up and pee.

Since the events of late has not been pleasant for me, I shall fish out old photos from other ppl's cameras. Here's one of the other times we went up to Genting.

Our friends Khai Lik and his girlfriend Angel came down to visit so as per usual he has to try his luck at the Casino and the rest went up for the uh nice weather.

Joanna and I in the elevator.

Ham looks damn funny here. Wtf happened to his hair! That's our friend Khai.

That's right! Converse! This is Hafiz, Ham's closest friend.

This is Paul, we picked him up from the street side and he has proved himself very useful. I won't say for what :D

Jo and I.

Awang, Hafiz, Khai, Ham, Paul.

Yaty, Me, Jo.

O well, boring shit. Bye.

Day Trip

2007-11-02T22:21:00.000+11:00

I only have a few pictures of Global Gathering. I feel like I missed the whole thing because I didnt get to meet up with the Technicolors. Was supposed to be sent to their bungalow before the rave but things popped up and Ham got sick and the whole thing was just a failure to me :(

A couple of days before the rave Ham was working on the Coke Zero shoot in Genting. He was there for a couple of days so Nigel took me up one of the days. Khai came with us so that he can gamble and win 3k only to lose it back later hah.

I went to Starbucks cause I wanted to use their wireless but their server was down. My new laptop looks nice huh!! That's Nigel by the way. Ham's part-time housemate. They are a lot like brothers because well because they basically do everything together when he's living with Ham. Ham nags him a lot too sigh. He's coming by to have his sleepovers with Ham again HAHA.

*****!!!!

2007-10-30T17:52:00.000+11:00

1. Ham is very sick :( His fever is up to 101 :(

2. I didn't get to be with the awesome twesome at GG.

3. I had shit all over me. (yes, because the sewer was next to the rave)

Elle, the tarot cards! New residence!

2007-10-18T01:38:00.000+12:00

Ham and I went to look at this Semi-D his uncle built. His step-dad and him are planning to share and buy the house together. It's beautiful!! The pictures are mixed up though some are from the link houses which are smaller. The pictures with furniture are pictures of the link houses whereas the empy ones are the semi-d which Ham is most likely gonna buy. YAY! His uncle, who is the Tan (and Ham is also a Tan) owns Tanmind Jaya and they've built bungalows and semi-ds in Kajang, Puchong, Cheras, Subang and goodness knows where else so we've actually quite a few choices since his uncle will probably give a nice discount :D but we are quite set on this house. Nice not!

Killjoy Oo

2007-10-09T17:49:00.000+12:00

I love my sister.

She calls me Killjoy Oo.

Her name in my phone is Fatty Oo hope she knows that!

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Ugh someone needs to help me with my template or banner or whatever its called. Blogger changes my things without asking me! I want to link people wei. Ugh. Ugh.

Congratulations!

2007-10-09T16:59:00.000+12:00

Andrea and Cameron NG!

Tyler NG and Rowena!

All the girls changing their surnames to Ngs! :P

:D

Hello Mrs Ng!

(pictures are at elleashley.com)

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been too busy after the break-in. sigh. but there's no time to be sad because too many happy things are happening! got my new laptop, its green!! and uh, back to work.

Sigh.

2007-10-01T21:23:00.000+12:00

First, Ham's shoplot's roof and piping had some problems so there's about 2k there to pay.

Then his house got robbed. My laptop got stolen, as well as the ring his grandfather left him.

2 other laptops was stolen. My PSP, cash almost 1k and they even took our coins! We collect 50cent coins. As in been collecting for the past 3 years so yeah..

But my mom's getting me a new laptop.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=d_4c4v452TM

I'm going for the green. What do you think?

SIGH. I'm sad but I'm getting a new laptop even though I never was really interested in electronics.

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:(
A lot of shit incidents lor.

Damn sad lor. Air cond compressor or condensor whatever also wanna steal.

We were gonna have some extra cash and Ham was already pre-shopping for his geek stuff.But then..Fuck tiao lor. We been jacked.

Ham's sending his katanas and parangs to be sharpened. What happened to be peace-loving boyfriend who calls the cops when wannabe little boys wanna play gangster? He agro now wei!

Somemore there's this skanky hideous whore telling lies all over the place. I'm so tempted to post her gangbang pictures up everywhere. Pissing me off if I see you slut, I sure slap you one lor. Stay out of my way I'm in a BADDDD MOODD. Don't fuck with meeeeee.

Okay sorry I serong abit.

I was smsing my dad nonsense making fun of each other until I decided to call him.
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Me: Daddy, what are you doing?

Daddy Oo: I'm in a meeting.

Me: But I'm BORED!

Daddy Oo: Sms la.

-_____-

Nobody loves me. Why tak layan dadddyyy!!!

*%54&^&**%$&2648

The way I are

2007-09-25T18:48:00.001+12:00

Awesome song only Ham and I had just only realized how much the lyrics relate to us.

A hiphop track, related to us! To the us during our first 6 months, when he was still renting, had no car and no money ;)

See I show you. First, imagine Ham and I all ghetto and shit

Ham:
I ain’t got no money
I ain’t got no car to take you on a date
I can’t even buy you flowers
But together we be the perfect soulmates

Me:
Oh, baby, it’s alright now, you ain’t gotta flaun for me
If we go touch, you can still touch my love, it’s free
We can work without the perks just you and me
Thug it out til we get it right

I don’t need the G’s or the car keys, Boy I like you just the way you are

Ham:
I ain't got no VISA
I ain’t got no Red American Express
We can’t go nowhere exotic
It don’t matter ‘cause I’m the one that loves you best

Baby girl, I don’t got a huge ol’ house, I rent a room in a house

Oh and especially this part!!
yeah my money and me loof like feel me them,
and it's realy not quite louis allason,
Your body ain't Pamela Anderson,
Its a struggle just to get you in the caravan,
But listen baby girl,
Before I let you lose a pound I'll buy a bigger car,
So listen baby girl, I love you just the way you are, the way you are

So me and my fats right!!

You know, except for that last bit, Ham and I had that exact conversation except not in ghetto lingo.

Cassie's day out.

2007-09-23T18:13:00.000+12:00

The other day Elle and I were home alone so we decided that I should go over to her place and bring Cassie along!

We went to Mont Kiara something first and I brought Cassie's leash and everything. She got agitated after being on my lap for a while so I took her for a walk around the place.

Before, she only got to walk on dirty tar roads so this was a pleasant change for her!
Now she keeps sniffing at her leash and wanting to go for walks!!

My baby is growing up *sobs.

Wo shi hua ren

2007-09-14T08:23:00.000+12:00

Several artistes and bands has been coming to Malaysia but I haven't been interested in a single one. In fact I wouldn't even go if I was given free front row tickets. And believe me, I LOVE my music. I've been got bruises in mosh pits at real concerts with real bands.

Ham has been letting me listen to Jacky Cheung and I've grown to love his songs. Even though I don't understand he's singing about the sensation is beautiful. You know what's sad, I was wondering if he was coming here soon. Ham said yeah he's coming this month so I quickly went to check. It's today :( Too late to get any tickets :( If I'd had known earlier my my mom could have gotten me free tickets. SIGH.

This is the english translation of one of my favourite songs of his, Wen Bie (Goodbye Kiss). Go download! Don't understand nevermind, just let it flow.

Goodbye Kiss (Jacky Cheung)
The dusty past becomes a cloud of smoke, scattering before our eyes
Even though we've said goodbye, I can't see any of your sadness
Everything you've given me, it's all been a routine
When you laugh so sweetly, I love you even more wildly

Understanding always occurs instantaneously
Things you've spoken, they'll never happen
In the twinkling of an eye, I see how your face
Has already become unfamiliar, it'll never again be like before
It has begun to snow in my world, so cold that I can't love one day longer
So cold that even my hidden sorrows are all so apparent

You and I kiss goodbye on an empty street
Let the wind laugh idiotically,
I can't refuse it
You and I kiss goodbye on a wild night

My heart is waiting to welcome grief
Wanting to give you nostalgia is like a kite with a broken string
It can't fly into your world, and won't warm your line of sight
I can already see, this play is a tragedy
There's no happy ending, I'm still hiding in your dreams

Okay the english translation abit off..but listen to it in chinese and if you can understand bits and parts you can meltttt.

My goodness since when am I so jiwang. Chinese songs makes me go soft (unlike my usual music my blood and heart pumps mad); its my roots after all and the connection is really quite strong. I've only listened to Emil Chau so far but now Jacky, wow Jacky.

Last night a 5iver saved my life

2007-09-12T17:12:00.001+12:00

After drinks with Ty and Ro, uhm Tyro haha my headache got worse. I felt it hours before but while I was laughing with them and Ham it didn't feel too bad.

As soon as I got up and walked to the car I threw up three times like a "waterfall" according to Ham. It was a migraine, both my eyesballs were threatening to burst. I "high 5ived" half and the nausea slowly but surely went away but the migraine was still unbearable.

I was such a wuss! I rolled around the bed and started to weep a little. It was so painful! I've gotten migraines before and I use to ignore it but whoaaa this was crazyyy.

Looking at the computer screen now I stil feel woozy but what to do, sien.

Why am I getting voted for uncool stuff in Facebook, okay I got "Party like a rockstar" here and there and "Most likely to be on the cover of High times" -_- But "Most likely to correct your grammar?!"

:( Kelly Yeng, you see what I vote for you.

Scrabulous anyone?

Green

2007-09-12T05:08:00.000+12:00

I've been ill for a few hours.

I don't normally fall sick. Whenever I do I brace myself through it, refusing anti-depressants or painkillers when they were prescribed. I want to be above that. I am heavy duty and would not succumb to minor botherations such a fever or fatigue. I am iron. I dislike the weak, I dislike having to resort to medications but I am in destitute.

But the past couple of hours has been laborious. I was in agony, I couldn't stop my tears from creating a trail down my cheeks, rippling down my chest, soaking my collar.

The pain cannot be affiliated with with anything emotional, only I felt so sorry for myself. This physical pain can't even be alchemized into art, it is bodily. I can't even chalk it up into an interesting experience.

Cassidy Oo

2007-09-11T18:36:00.000+12:00

I love her looking like this, her fur long and messy super cute la.

But Ham, my dad and my sister likes it shorter. She was just groomed 3 days ago and looks like Whoopi Goldberg again because they took off all the hair around her face and her fringe is gone :(

Justinla's lingo.

2007-09-11T07:02:00.000+12:00

Stella says:
more "chee kick"
Nitsuj says:
chee kickapoo
Stella says:
kick your poo
Nitsuj says:
pickakoo
Stella says:
pick cheekick poo
Nitsuj says:
chick pee pick koo
Stella says:
poo is kick
Nitsuj says:
chick pee on d pool
Nitsuj says:
kick chickpea po
Nitsuj says:
ol
Stella says:
you know poo
Stella says:
you know who?
Nitsuj says:
who is poo?
Nitsuj says:
is poo you?
Stella says:
you are poo
Stella says:
i know poo
Stella says:
and poo is you
Nitsuj says:
i not poo
Nitsuj says:
poo is you
Nitsuj says:
you so cool
Nitsuj says:
cuz you poo
Stella says:
poo in the pool
Stella says:
you are the pool
Nitsuj says:
but u are poo
Nitsuj says:
if i am pool
Nitsuj says:
then wut are u
Stella says:
we are fools
Nitsuj says:
u can be poo
Nitsuj says:
cuz poo is in da pool
Stella says:
i am a fool
Stella says:
you are a tool
Stella says:
haahhaha
Stella says:
you are a stool
Nitsuj says:
arent we so cool
Stella says:
i am cool
Nitsuj says:
too cool for skool
Stella says:
we is cool
Stella says:
yeap too cool for pool
Nitsuj says:
but as kool as stool
Nitsuj says:
too pool for cool
Stella says:
too fool for cool
Nitsuj says:
coo tool for pool
Stella says:
you are a fool
Stella says:
you are my tool
Stella says:
hahahahaha
Nitsuj says:
a tool dats cool?
Nitsuj says:
or a fool who's pool
Stella says:
a cool tool
Nitsuj says:
or a cool skool
Stella says:
no school is cool
Stella says:
but a pool is cool
Nitsuj says:
as cool as a fool?
Stella says:
cooling fooling pooling poo
Nitsuj says:
drooling like a fool, tooling with da cool
Stella says:
a fool's drool?
Stella says:
a fool's drool is cool
Nitsuj says:
as cool as a pool?
Stella says:
cooler than a pooler
Stella says:
a drooler is a cooler
Nitsuj says:
cooler than a 3yr old stool?
Nitsuj says:
cooler than 3yr old skooler?
Stella says:
cooler than a preschooler
Stella says:
but a preschooler's stool is cooler
Nitsuj says:
aint as cool as a stooler who's a fool
Stella says:
a stooler who's a fool is indeed cool
Stella says:
but not as cool as stool in the pool
Nitsuj says:
i still think a skool wit a tool is cooler than a stool in a pool
Nitsuj says:
but no doubt
Nitsuj says:
a cool fool is like a stool in a pool
Stella says:
but a tool in a school is a fool although a stool in a pool beats a cool fool's stool
Nitsuj says:
i dun think a cool fool's stool is betta than a pool wit a stool
Nitsuj says:
but a fool who drools in skool is like a pool witout a stool tool
Stella says:
but thats what i said
Nitsuj says:
could b dats wut u paid
Nitsuj says:
wanna drink lemonade?
Stella says:
a drooler is no fool in a school
Stella says:
want
Nitsuj says:
pant
Nitsuj says:
like an ant
Stella says:
i wear the pants
Nitsuj says:
then i'll grant
Stella says:
you wear the skirt
Stella says:
then i drink
Nitsuj says:
how bout i pear the wants
Nitsuj says:
u skear the wirt
Nitsuj says:
den i think
Stella says:
im the wire
Stella says:
you the fire

Scrabble babble.

2007-09-10T03:19:00.000+12:00

Hm. Playing Scrabulous with Leonard, Zhao Kun and Jung.

I got 32 points for a word I made and Leonard said "MA CHAU HAI!"
When he made a word for 33 I said "wahlauu ehhh"
This game making us so malaysian I love.
He is also "smoking like a bitch" i quote cause he's stressed.

Jung came online, msged me and said "Stel, are you ready?"
I'm like, ready for what omg scrabble!!

Ok back to t he game.

How many brothers fell victim to the streets.

2007-09-10T02:15:00.000+12:00

Hot damn I'm so addicted to Scrabulous. I see anyone online I bug them to play.

Great weekend! Friday night a few of us attended Arthur's financial planning seminar. It was alright only..my sister and I were communicating on this feedback sheet they gave us and we were saying things like "so money minded can die", and when the presenter was speaking on how he gave his wife 10k to go on a holiday we wrote "ugh that depends if you want to have a wife who'd bug you for a gucci bag every week" and yeah..along the lines of that. It was two pages front and back full of our comments. We also answered his questions like when he asked which stock market fell in whenever or some math questions he directed at the audience. Joyce answered the math ones and I answered the other ones and we added a "duh" at the end. And..the presenter, who is Arthur's investor, found it.

He said I'm going down. He is also going to frame it up o.O
I wasn't dissing the presenter per se, I was dissing the concept in general. Putting wealth on a high pedestal, worshipping it, it disgusts me. Overall I thought the presentation was good and he mentioned a few key points we should all remember. Pyro, financial designers. Thumbs up!

Anyway, on Saturday morning my dad took my sister Joyce, Rachel, her brother Russell, Scott and myself to Bah Kut Teh! Read about BKT again on Elle's blog and Ray wanted some so there we went.

After that Edmond came to pick my dad, Esther and I up to go to the Times book fair!! I bought 6 books! For less than 200ringgit. Thick hard cover books. Love love love going again next weekend.

Edmond and I haven't seen each other in a while but he's an amazing friend and we use to be super close so it was awesome catching up.

In the evening I took Alex to play ping pong with my dad and his friends. I was so freaking bored.

For dinner Joyce brought her friend Choo Yen and bf Voon Ying along.

Poor Daddy didn't get anytime alone with us cause after that I met Tyler and Rowena cause we happened to be in SS2 but when I got home Joyce and I had maggi with Daddy and it was off to bed!

Where my balls!

2007-09-07T04:21:00.000+12:00

So yeah I don't shop, I don't buy makeup or shoes (cept for converse) or bags. I've never had a facial and I don't use facial cleanser.

But, I am addicted to manicures, pedicures and brazilian waxing.

When I get mani and pedis I always only get the French.

However, these days I get talked into something else. I actually dont want anything but the French but I don't want to offend the manicurist and somehow am shy to insist on what I want.

I end up with disgusting designs.

So sad..but sayang to wash it off :(

I'm a walking freak show.

Yesterday is yesterday, if we try to capture it, we will only lose tomorrow.

2007-09-06T03:46:00.000+12:00

I'm browsing through the downloads on Ham's computer.

Who the fuck downloaded avril disgusting bitch lavigne and high school music songs into the computer? What the fuck is up with the akon and fergie songs? Wah I damn pissed.

Some more someone put my Rilo Kiley and Eisley songs into the trance folder. WTF?? No wonder I haven't listened to them in more than a year.

Wanna die is it.

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On the happy.. Chemical Brothers is pulsing through me and Cosmic Gate sounds pretty damn good. I'm in an alternate universe.

So cute can die.

2007-09-05T22:46:00.000+12:00

This was taken in Tiger's car on the way to Ham's house. Doggy took us through the longest way ever to get there. Oh, that phone there belongs to Tiger's mum, I was using it :P cause the mic on my phone was ripped off when my sister changed the cover for me -_- But it works now! Yay! I smsed so much my little finger very nearly fell off. Pictures were taken with my apparently outdated 1.3 megapixels phone. I only found out yesterday its a 1.3 after many many months of using the same phone. Not bad what. Can see Cassie so dirty daddyHam havent showered her.

Cassie very rarely sits or naps on my lap. She doesn't like anyone holding or touching her either. But this time in the car although I sat her on the other side she came over and put her head on my lap to sleep. I tried very hard not to move at all cause I didn't want her to go away!

Living to eat

2007-09-05T16:11:00.000+12:00

Ham and I went for dinner with my dad and baby sis Esther last night in Rakuzen Plaza Damas, one of my dad's favourite Japanese restaurants. We actually wanted to go to Greenview after I heard Elle's review on the place. But Joyce would be pissed if we had crabs without her so we decided to have Japanese since she hates Japanese food.

I don't normally take pictures of food. But Ham and my dad were yakking away about some business thing, something along the lines of tenders and gangsters wth. So I snapped two pictures and then my dad looked at me disapprovingly so I stopped.

But got two! Esther looks damn scary, she another one not photogenic. Hehe. Her favourite, Unagi.

This is one bento set. Couldn't even capture everything in one frame. My dad, Ham and I each had one although this one was the biggest but yet didn't have any rice unless you count the sushi and I hate sushi. By the time the 3rd set came (and my extra portion of shashimi) we had to move to a bigger table -_- The 4 seater didn't have enough space for our food.

Funny, this set is supposedly the biggest one cause it cost the most but the other sets had rice, more shashimi and shishamo. Hm.

Sometimes you can't make it on your own

2007-09-05T15:11:00.000+12:00

Ham was away for a couple of days the week before. I house-sat for him and I realized that without him, it was pretty hard for me to get by because I didn't know how to connect "Mommah" to the internet once it somehow disconnected. Also, I had to take out the trash. I hate taking the trash out. But I had to do it and was feeling so kesian for myself. Then somehow, there was a baby cockroach in the sink. There's never been a cockroach in the house and the moment he's not around, here it comes swaggering into my sink!! Sexy the husky keeps crying and staring out to window *sigh. But Cassie was completely fine and dandy hehe.

So he's back now and everything is in order!

Most of us are sad, but I'm not most people!

2007-08-24T00:28:00.000+12:00

Last night Ham tried using this free facial wash Heng brought home months ago.
He had his whole face covered white in that gunk except for a thick line above his upper lip and he turned to me and said "Look babe, no milk."

Maybe this is commonplace for couples who use facial wash, but neither of us do so I laughed and laughed and laughed.

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Ham has his friend Awang. Awang is also my friend. Awang loves trance. Whenever we are in Ham's car my music would obviously be playing. Awang would compliment the song and tell me I have good taste but then ah, at almost every song he'd say "Hey if they made this song into a trance track, best!" and would try to churn out this sound.
After a while I said "Wang, jangan semua lagu best best nak jadi trance ok!"

But apparently there are already quite a few of the Ramones' songs made into trance song. Hm.

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It's 9am and Ham isn't back from his outing. I'm so hungry cause I'm waiting for him for dinner and I ate a quarter of my cheesecake. It's not very thick la about half an inch of biscuit and an inch or so of cheese. But dunno why now feel quite the full.

Sheena is a punk rocker.

2007-08-23T12:05:00.000+12:00

I like my new font on MSN so much I'm typing and typing! So long-winded! Haha when Khai Lee asked me to join some 16-word short story competition I said "Hello, I'd die if I can't eloborate mty points man, 16 words siao."
He told me the night before the dateline so naturally I forgot. Meaning I didn't have time to get reminded repeatedly.

Wrote a long ass post just now when I was bored but blogger wasn't working. I'll go check and see if it was saved.

I'm gonna post the shit/chocolate pictures soon! So exicted! It's right up there on the same level as my cake picture. Ooh who has my cake picture! Send to me again. Jung? Aran?

Brainstorm, take me away from the norm

2007-08-23T01:00:00.000+12:00

I went for class today and my classmate John said "Wow Stella, you're early! It's only Week 4, we usually see you at least a month after classes had started."

True. But this Lenny has been scaring me saying Mr.Bong (Faculty Director) has been really strict on attendance and they'd minus 2% for every class you miss without an mc. 2% is damn bloody a lot lor considering I skip at least 50% of all my classes. Plus I know he would definitely notice if he walks into any class and don't see me there.

But apparently that might not be true too. We'll see.

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In the beginning, when I'd go to Ham's grandma's for dinner I'd stick by his side, eat quietly, wash the dishes and then sit in front of the TV.

These days I'm not glued to his side anymore. In fact sometimes he'd take his dinner to the telly and I'd sit at the dinner table chatting with his aunts and uncle. After dinner I'd sit outside with his two aunts and chat for an hour or so while he watches TV. Sometimes he'll even go out with his friends and I'll stay back at his grandma's talking to her and taking notes as they explain how to cook certain dishes. We do things separately in his grandma's house. I'm really comfortable there! Sometimes I don't even want to go home cause I like the atmosphere so much. I love family life la, just makes you feel like everything will be okay no matter what and nothing could go wrong.

Now Ham is trying to convince me to go over earlier everyday to learn how to cook from them so that I can cook the same dishes for him in the future. What la.
Actually I don't mind, the food there mostly spicy! I LIKE!

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Alvin asked me if I had a blog a couple of days ago and said that someone someone gave him the link. Then he teased me and called me a blogger. I'm not a blogger lor. I never considered myself to be one and I really really don't want to be one. I see this as an online journal and though people say it all the time I really do mean it when I say it exists as an outlet for me and just something for my friends to read. Like..my 5 friends who read this blog. I don't write here as if its for the world to read and I'm definitely not hoping to attract more readers or anything like that at all.

If you know me, you'd know I don't give a shit about my "social life" or "network" or anything lame like that. I keep it real! (quote the lovely elleashley.com)

But recently certain friends tell me that some of the things I wrote offended their friend(s) and bla bla bla. That I should be more mindful of what I say because anyone can access this blog. Hello! I don't even know your friend leh.. I give a shit ah how they feel about what I write. So kepoh wanna read ppl's blog then deal with what's here la aiyo.

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The other day someone, one of Ham's friends I think asked me if I was going to the Gwen Stefani concert and I said "No.."
Then the fella said "Eh, no? So your thing! Gwen and hiphop and all."
SINCE WHEN AH. Do I really look like the type *SOBS I rocker maa..mat rocker also can dowan to look like a Gwen fan hehe.
No Doubt was okay la, but when she went solo I never really caught up with her. It's like a different sound in a different dimension.

My poor baby!

2007-08-22T06:25:00.000+12:00

Ham smacked Cassie for the first time today! Not smack la like a little tap but it made her so confused! She was staring at him in a "Papa why you beat me" kinda look. I know these things la ok.

Cassie peed outside of the toilet today. She's stopped it a long time ago you know! She has been doing her businesses in the toilet for months already :( But daddyHam would not tolerate it.

After that she went to him and licked his feet. Poor baby. Until now keep staring at her Papa, wondering why he smacked her.

*SOBS

On a brighter note, she has become quite aggresive. She bit Sexy till Sexy was bleeding. *evil laugh*

Ham and I had a big argument today because I refused to take my cirit-birit medicine (its pink and white.. and quite frankly, tasted like fermented tulips) and he went and crushed it. and put it. in my air kelapa. Like I couldn't taste it in there!

After that we continued arguing cause I didnt want to go to school tomorrow saying I should make full use of my 2day mc and claim I'm still feeling sick. Lecturers love me! They will surely buy it one. But no, kept giving me that sullen face. He's going to start working on another production again soon, might as well spend time together now! Other boyfriends would be thrilled if their girl wants to skip class and spend time with them.

Only of course, when that class is a 9am class and he doesn't have work that day.

Legs to beat the ground, and our hearts to beat the band

2007-08-22T00:52:00.000+12:00

After a shower Cassie would look damn good. But after 5 minutes of play with Sexy, gone la she'd look like a wild puppy possibly a stray. Like in these pictures. They would tumble and bite each other to no end and Cassie would emerge covered in saliva and her fur like chicken feathers. Somehow she's not photogenic la. She hardly looks nice in pictures but the real thing..is crazy cute!! Cute until can die why why la the pictures doesn't show. Doesn't even show 5% of her actual cuteness.

I've been making cheesecakes the past 2 weekends. Damn nice lor if I say so myself.

These past weeks I've also been seeing more of Ham's friends Darren and Dwayne, along with their girlfriends Su Ann and Michelle. I got along with the girls! Stella made new friends :D Ham's usually the friend you have to beg and plead before he'd agree to go out so..even though we've been dating for almost a year and a half I've only seen his friends in a complete group a handful of times.

I miss my own ones. My colorful colorful space people!

I'm gonna post more nonsense pictures before posting my shit/choclate ones (I've been saving them!). To achieve balance. Heheh

My sister did my nails. I like!

Backside clean clean.

2007-08-19T07:06:00.000+12:00

Actually, quite fast lor me. Except this youtube damn mafan ask for this that. But it's worth it!

See, Cassie cleans her backside after she shits. Almost every single time! It looks damn cute la when she's doing it. But girls would say its gross. But nola her backside clean leh, I wipe it for her with baby wipes every time she shits or pees. I actually have a few videos cause she does it for quite a while in intervals. But only one worked. Ho hum. Everytime I see her do this I know its time to wipe her backside!

Have an apple, have some lye..

2007-08-19T06:38:00.000+12:00

I lost my phone USB cable thingy right, but then today I realized, my mom has the same phone! (My parents also uses the same message tone as I -_- So when Bob Marley's Don't worry be happy comes on all three of us move) And she definitely doesn't use the thingamajigs. So I took hers :D

Yay there are cool pictures to see! Can upload the shit/chocolate pictures! I wanna upload these videos of Cassie. But first I gotta find out how and I'm guessing it'll take me a while -_-
So here's some pictures of Langkawi from my phone.

Ham and I! Bangun pagiii gosok gigiii

One can of that and I was spinning and spinning (the Heineken). No more! I don't know why I bought that vodka thing apart from it being peach flavored there's no other redeeming quality. When I used to drink.. vodka tasted the worst! Smell and taste like rats saturated in detergent. I drank half of that though and made Ham drink the other half. He agrees with me, got cockroach inside. All vodka is made from cockroach pee. Ok, I need to make up my mind about the contents of vodka. Brown liquor used to rock. Whiskey la everyone. Eh that can of beer RM3.10 only :D

Krys at Rasa. Rachel took this picture and said my phone picture quality sucks. You just don't know how to use it la. Look at the other pictures -_-

View of Babe from the bed. I like!

Okay so this picture isn't from Langkawi. This was in Rachel's room. Dunno when. He's so adorable! msikgn494jgmn309902n2777ion!!!

Cassie infiltrates.

2007-08-18T04:10:00.000+12:00

Cassie's favourite spot in my house is under the couch.

Everyday I'd lie down on my stomach on the floor next to her and hold her hand while she sleeps. My parents think it's a little abnormal.

Last night Joanna slept over so we put a mattress on the floor for Ham :D

But Cassie took over so I lied down on the mattress and stared at her for a good one hour.

She kept moving away from me cause I'd put my nose right in front of her and grin at her.

Everytime she moved I'd move also to face her. Ham sat next to me and stroked her. When she moved he'd move her to face me saying "Baby girll mommy wants to look at you" :D

Ham says he's becoming more like me cause he's starting to talk to her in a baby voice.

He damn bad lor. Whenever Cassie is under the bed and we wanna get her out I'd call and say "Cassieee Cassieee mommy hereeee come come mommy hereee."

Ham mimiced me using a high-pitched annoying voice. All complete with the gestures except he made it extra gedik. He calls her "baby girlll" haha so pondan.

Sexy is so fat her head looks too small for her body. Sounds like someone we know :P

Venus, hardeeharhar

2007-08-15T19:50:00.000+12:00

Last night, I went to a night club! Venus, somewhere in Sg Chua. Joanna and I have never been to a shady night club so we decided to go. I bugged Ham and he called his friends who has friends who frequent the place.

We got a big 20 seater room with moderately comfortable couches. I was quite excited to see the "girls" in action but erm they were quite irritating in their high-pitched, extremely loud cutesy China accent. They kept screaming and yelping with the guys. The guys asked them to leave after 20 minutes hehe.

At first it was pretty fun, singing and listening to others sing.

But later in the night, some of the guys played some trance music which was realllly crap. Imagine Safri Duo remixed with some ah beng dude's voice talking in between. It got so bad Jo and I went outside to escape for a while.

It'll probably be my first and last time.

Anyway, this is one of the rare occasions pictures were taken.

Me sleeping cause it was past my bedtime with Jo and Hafiz.

Hafiz and Jo. Hafiz is back from Perth for good! He's now working in True Fitness in Hartamas and is pestering Ham to work out -_- me don't like muscles. No mus-kels!

Victor and Leong. They are both fathers to adorable adorable kids.

Jourdang made his special appearance. I loveeee this expression on his face.

Ham and his best friend Hafiz. Victor pulled a prank and called a girl for Hafiz. He glared at Victor after giving a feeble smile to the chick and asked her to leave. Damn tiu these guys.

Ham and I!
Erm, not sure what Ham was doing here.

Hello everyone!
Ok bye!

I got tagged!

2007-08-14T02:13:00.000+12:00

I've always seen the word around, tag. But never knew what it was till today. Yeah I'm stupid like that.

Anyway, before the tagging thingy.. We went to Cowboy and it was closed! Ham was so sad! So we decided to try Boathouse which Ray said, I have to try the beef burger there. But steak trumps burger so I had this bleu cheese and black pepper steak. The lady said "Oh this one's different, quite special." So I was all excited to try it but when it came, it wasn't bleu cheese and black pepper mixed. It's cheese on one side and black pepper on the other. It was yum anyway.
Steaks never keeps me full. I came home and had nasi kandar with fried chicken and sotong two hours later.

So okay, tagging thingy.
We're supposed to talk about our ambitions. Or at least, what they were.

Detective (higher ranking than a cop ok)
Oooh I've wanted to be a detective for the longest time! All throughout primary school. My friend Candice and I always talked about cases we would solve and stuff. I think its because we read a lot of Nancy Drew and Famous Five books. I wanted to be a detective all the way until I started reading newspapers and watched Kisah Benar.

Teacher
I've always wanted to teach. At first it was because it is an honourable occupation. How clever teachers are to know these things and could answer my questions (well some of them) But lately it's because I love kids! I do teach a little here and there.
First I tutored some kids and it was good pay, RM25/hour. But then it all got a little hectic and I my A2 exams were coming so that stopped. After that I gave night tutoring to Korean kids, all 22 in one class. They're 8 to 12 so the drama between the girls had already started so.. I didnt like the job that much. I used art to teach them about harmony and how people, just like colors work better when united. (Long story) It didn't work, maybe cause I didnt believe what I was saying haha. Though..they did pay me RM600 a month for 2 hours of tutoring a week.
During my past holidays I worked part-time in Peter and Jane. They threw me in "the deep end", or so they said. Three year olds. I was Miss Stella to Class Yellow. I LOVED EVERY SECOND OF IT. Even though there was a kid who cried till he threw up every morning, a kid whose mom has to sit there all day while he weeps and you know, more vomit. Even so, I love every single one of them. I have so many stories to tell. I yakked about it nonstop, Ham was going cuckoo cause after a while I kept repeating the same stories.
They were going to pay me 1200 a month full time from 8 to 4 but I decided to do it voluntarily. After all I'm not qualified in Early Education. So this kindergarten thing is something I'm definitely looking into.

Lawyer
Why?! Why?! I like(d) debating and arguing so I thought being a lawyer would be fun. I was in primary school, probably had to do with the detective thing. I thought, If I know the law well enough I'm gold! I can get out of any situation and put people in situations! Bullshit made my parents so happy I had to do Pre-Law in A-levels. I knew I didn't want to be a lawyer but it turned out my best subject. Bye bye Queen Midas.

Art Restorer/Painter
I love painting. I discovered it in Form 4, late I know but I was nuts about it. I was painting all the time. But it was the one thing that my parents were unhappy about. The art I love isn't digital, isn't photography or anything semi-practical like that. I am a copier. I look at something in a book and replicate it. I go weak at the knees when I see a beautiful scenery that I can copy. Also if I restore paintings, that means I get to touch paintings from Renaissence! But uh, no hope of that here and since I was young my parents' biggest fear is that I will move overseas. So..slowly my parents discouraged me, got rid of my paints and somehow I don't want to like painting anymore. I picked up a brush a year ago, it felt strangely familiar and wrong. Like being caught in the act of something shameful.

Professional Skateboarder.
Ok, so I wasn't good at tricks. But I am damn fast yo. I used a gravity board and it had this little speedometer in the front. I was fast. I ran into a bus once, but it wasn't moving. I've had stitches, dislocated knees, bloody knees, bloody palms, bloody hair, fractures and whatever but the most painful skateboarding experience was when I was running downhill after my board when it hit a car tyre at full speed, bounced backwards off it and hit me full force in the shin. I think I had a hairline fracture, because the last time I felt that kind of pain, it was a fracture but I was too scared to tell my parents again so I limped for 2 weeks. I saw the exact same thing happen to my friend and I made the same mistake. I love Bob Burnquist because he is good-looking and I loved Chad Muska's 26 steps so I tried it and a piece of flesh from my finger came out cause the railing was rusted and busted in a few places. I used to wear torn jeans and black cons everyday, and listen to what they call "noisy music"; some people called me a lesbian. Yep, thats what you get for skateboarding in Malaysia they call you a lesbian. Also because I never dated in high school and thought high school love are for insecure saps. I rather be a dyke than be stupid :) I didn't date but I had my fair share of making boys do stupid things so somehow although the first time I held hands with a boy and kissed a boy was in college, I was either an Icequeen or a slut. The world and all the teenagers in it are warped. Why are people stupid.

I studied Advertising and PR. People tell me I'm perfect for the job. WHY?! I dislike more things than I like things! How can I romantisize things that I hate. If I have to work with Nike how? Or Esso? Or McDonalds or KFC? They are all criminals! Opportunists with no principles! If I go into advertising I might end up a criminal too, for grevious bodily harm! I sure whack people one haha. Somemore this kind of field where you have to layan people sometimes and the girls are all one-kind. How! I sure cannot stand one. Look at me and Mel! I almost killed her! :)

Okay, so I didn't stick to the topic. I'm a stoner, I can't ride my own train of thought.

Eat eat eat only I know.

2007-08-13T21:30:00.001+12:00

I'm having steak tonight! Yay yay yay. I haven't had steak in a month!

Ham and I have had steak everywhere.

San Francisco Steakhouse Okay only la. I go there for their desserts. But because you're in a steakhouse you gotta have steak.

Jake's The bomb! Price also quite the bomb.

Victoria Station Overrated dunno whyy we go there I hate the place. Try once like ok only. Then somehow we'd think "maybe that time not good this time good leh got the wrong chef or something" then we'd go again and its always just so-so only.

Roadhouse Grill Not good at all but dunno why we end up there sometimes

Fridays (JD steak!) Yum

Le Meridien's Prime Expensive! We've only eaten there once. Dunno how our bill came up to almost 700. *faints. But on the bright side, they've got quite a selection of butters! I love butter!

Maredo's Steakhouse Love the ribs over their steak though

Gobo's Upstairs Lounge and Grill At first when I thought..lounge ah..yer dowan la later got a lot of pretentious people and girls talking in high-pitched voices. But damn the steak is good! It was salted hardcore! Anything salted is good.

Okayla, that's all I can remember off the top of my head. But I'm pretty sure we've covered quitea few steakhouses. We see a random one somewhere, off we go.

I haven't tried Boathouse and Tony Roma's which according to Ray and my sister, are good.

I use to have steak every weekend as a child! One of the places we'd frequent is that Windmill place in 1u but it closed down. Their steaks were served in cut-up pieces! I like! Child ma that time. But about seven years ago my mom became a Buddhist so none of us are allowed to have beef. Not in her presence anyway. So we stopped going for western food. At the same time I grew to love chinese food so I didn't really miss steak that much.

You know why. Cause I use to have them well done. When Ham forced me to take a bite of his medium rare, I fell in love all over again! I've rediscovered steak! Sometimes we'd order them rare because some people don't understand that medium rare means there should be some blood oozing out :D

Mind you, this is one of few things Ham and I spend money on. We are really quite thrifty. But since we don't waste any money on shopping for clothes or things like that, we spend them on steaks! It's our common ground! If cheap steak I'll pay if expensive steak, Ham pays hehe so no pinch on my part.

But anyway, our favourite place for steak is..Cowboy in Kelana Jaya. (I also like Suzie's Corner)

Cheap and effing good. The sauce..once you catch a whiff of it your mouth starts to water. Maybe it's because we're Malaysian and they are Malay chefs and the sauce..is just perfect.

We're not the kind of ppl who care for a nice ambience and nice chairs or whatever. It's all about the food and just the food. Sigh dunno why we pay good money to go to nice looking restaurants with mediocre steaks. Quite con la the whole thing, you see a nice looking place and you think, hmm they probably have good steak here because there's rich looking people in there and surely, rich people would know good food!

Nonsense.

Just like Jogoya and Shogun. Everyone thinks Jogoya is better because it's more expensive and it looks nicer. People don't admit it, but its true. Because even people who've not eaten there thinks its the better. I've eaten at both places about 10 times each and honestly I'd have to say they are both equally good lor. For different things.

Shogun definitely has better salmon shashimi and since that's my FAVEEE I prefer going to Shogun. But Jogoya has a wider selection of food and Movenpick ice cream and pretty good desserts. But half the time I'm there the raw stuff just isn't that good. Like it's been sitting there for a while. They rarely serve the good shashimi, the one with thick white lines of fat. Although my dad and I love going to Rakuzen best. Only thing its a la carte and it'll be quite expensive if I eat as much shashimi as I can take. Hm no perfect place for japanese food yet.

Anywayy...shit I'm becoming quite long-winded.

OK. One problem with Cowboy though is that, its by a lake. So there are mozzies! I HATE! Also if you go there on public holidays like Christmas Eve *ahem, the food will suck. But on weekdays where there are only a few patrons the steaks are the bomb. THE BOMB! Only about RM40 per steak. And uh, don't sit on the water. The first time it looked quite inviting, the dock bobbing along the water and all but really, its in disguise. It's really a feeding tank for the giant mos-ti-kos!

So we're going there tonight!! In exactly half an hour!

Actually I'm just killing time writing in here waiting to go. Ham wants to nap first and I'm getting quite agitated. Sigh.

My little secret.

2007-08-13T04:59:00.000+12:00

I know people say "Life is too short to read shitty books."

But I've read a fair few of books I wouldn't pay money for.
I've read maybe 6 books of Marian Keys and all of Sophie Kinsella's.
Also, I've read all of Jane Green's books. A few of Nicholas Spark's, Sidney Sheldon and several other authors I walk past in the bookstore. But when my sister buys them, or when I see them in people's houses I pick it up and finish it. And then, to my horror, I started to borrow a few when I'm at Walk In Rent a Book. Given, their non-fiction section is made up of 30 books which most I've read so..not being able to afford books I borrow from other sections. My dad stopped buying me books on military history and warfare for 2 years because apparently, it was making me an angry person.

Anyway, chick lit.
Especially! When it's about babies. Jane Green had this one called Babyville. That was the first chick lit book I read. Then there was this other one about different couples, some trying to have kids some with kids and how they coped with their partners and their babies and baby baby everything! I liked! I also liked Anybody Out There by Marian Keys o.O

Chick lit. OMG.
What has become of me la, buying meat and vegetables from the wet market at 7am and once, I was tempted to read a female beauty magazine. I saw it when I was getting my hair cut and instead of picking up my usual Master Q comics, I almost..almost picked up Vogue or something.

I am rock and roll! I skateboard, I have stitches! I hate pink! I hate sparkly things! My dad wanted to change my name to Scott! I hated wearing skirts! Certain friends still snigger and laugh when they see me in one now.

So ok la, life's too short to be too critical of everything. I plan to age gracefully and if it means reading flimsy chick lit I'll do it.

I also come up with reasons to justify things I am ashamed of doing.

I was bored and asked Ham what I should do and he said "Blog about one of your secrets. "

"What secrets! What secrets! I don't have secrets!"

"How bout the time you surfed that hollywood gossip page and was telling me random useless infomation."

Fuck man that was just ONCE and I was so bored and I saw the link and discovered that Britney already has 2 kids. He's gonna remember it forever.

All in a week of my wonderful life! Hah

2007-08-10T05:18:00.001+12:00

I put Cassie on a leash for the first time three days ago. She definitely did not like it. I tested it around the front of our house walking about and she would hold her ground in an "attack" pose refusing to move. So cute! I was heartbroken though to have to tug on her leash. I become a wimp around her. I crawl around my house for an hour playing hide and seek with her everyday and had nasty bruises on my knees. (Augusten Burroughs does this with his French Bulldogs too except he wears a cat mask, I didn't know until I read Possible Side Effects!).

Sometimes when it looks as if something happened I'd hurl myself to the floor to get to her and yeah bruise my already bruised knees.

Anyway Ham and I go for dinner at his grandma's place nearby and he walks Sexy there everyday. At first I'd carry Cassie all the way but she'd always be looking down at the street longingly, envious of Sexy who has the freedom to sniff and bite at everything.

So, reluctantly I bought a leash. I didn't even like the idea of a collar on her but o well. Love a dog too much ppl say you siao, not so nice to a dog ppl say you are cruel.

It's been three days and she's getting used to it though today I think she felt lazy cause as I was sitting on the steps waiting for Ham to put Sexy on her leash Cassie jumped up onto my lap so I made Ham drive there :P

I'm such a wuss la. I'm overbearing, I worry over every little whimper and at first I didn't even like other people or other dogs around her (unless they are poodles jessica hehe).

Rachel says "Stel I'll go to all your push push classes with you and everything but as soon as the baby pops out, I'm not gonna see you for seven years. You are mad."

But you know, it gets better and I don't worry that she's gonna die as often.
Though I still crawl around the house on my elbows to play with her.

I lost my phone USB thing so I can't upload pictures of her anymore :( I have about 150 stuck in my phone and 100 on Ham's computer. Which is more pictures than my entire collection of pictures with friends for the past 4 years :D

Good thing it isn't on my laptop because Ham reformatted just now.
He asked if I wanted to keep anything and I said "Nah nothing important, wash it off."
He asked again, "Your songs? Your shows? Pictures?"
"Nothing one la. Delete la."

All gone. Suprisingly I feel nothing. I'm so not a geek! :(

Ham's computer got struck by lightning a few days ago, sort of, and when it didn't turn on he was grumpy and sour all day until he bought a new power box thing, new lan card, new network card and new modem/router that he cracked a smile.

Oh Ham was telling me about how he shouldn't have partition(ed) my laptop.
A partition? Like a living room?!

Ham has spent 1k on curtains and curtains rods for his house. So mind the auntie in me.

Backside boy

2007-08-08T02:37:00.000+12:00

Ham has been playing dota for the past hour and I'm in one of my moods.

Lazing around asking him What Ifs questions and urging him for long philosophical answers. I'd bug him for a better answer if I didnt like the first one he gave, I'd pester him to justify his choices and stances.

Then I remembered once someone had said that if she would choose her favourite disney princess character thing, it would be Pegasus because she can fly.

Later she found out Pegasus was a he. All the cool ones are taken by men la shit.

So I asked Ham who his favourite disney princess was and he said " Sleeping Beauty. She didn't talk a lot."

I think this was the question he gave most thought in answering. The little chibai.

You know he calls his computer Mommah? As in, the mothership?

!!!

When we remember Zion

2007-08-06T03:38:00.000+12:00

I spend my weekends with my Dad. And recently, on Saturdays I've been joining him and his friends, Uncle Steven and Uncle Vincent for lunch. A long lunch stretched over peking duck, dim sum and of course, hokkien mee with exxtra fried pork lard. We're usually at Oriental Pavilion Jaya 33 for abour 3 hours or so with 3785 refills into the teapot. Sometimes another uncle joins, sometimes not. It can be quite enjoyable, chatting with my dad, debating with the uncles.

Uncle V sometimes prints out absurd emails of his about our government and its slander right left and centre. Sure bits and parts are true but its stretched to the point of nonsense. My dad would tell him that its depressing to read even though its mostly untrue while I nod my head vigorously. One of them said something quite funny yesterday, "It's not that I'm scared of my wife, its my wife not scared of me..Ok??" Hahaha he said it in hokkien. I laughed I couldn't help it.

The night before that, Friday night, my Dad and I went for durians with Uncle Steven, Ah Yi and some of my cousins. Uncle Steven recently suffered a "slipped disc". So him and my dad (arm injury) can't play badminton for a while. Which is their favouriteee thing to do. Anyway, Uncle Steven has to wear this back brace for a while, for his lower back. It's brown and its huge. When I got to the durian place, he was wearing it. Only he was wearing it on the outside of his shirt! My dad told him it looked like he was wearing a girdle o.O My aunt then told us he was wearing it the same way when they were out for lunch and some ladies were glancing at him as they were waiting their table. Uncle Steven loudly said that if they wanna look they should look straight at him and not glance here glance there. My aunt then told him he must have wanted more of that attention thats why he's wearing it on the outside again. He huffed, and then pulled his shirt over the brace. His son Jian Hwa said " Aiya, just take a piece of paper, write there Slipped Disc, No need to ask! and stick it on your brace."

HAHAHAHHA. Anyway, my dad secretly went to play badminton. I woke up today at 10am and saw him, well caught him, creeping into the house in his badminton gear, "Did you play??"

"Yeah! My arm's better already, I can smash and everything...But uh, I sprained my ankle a little bit" and pointed at his bandaged ankle that I didn't notice before.

What is this..

Cassie's being really demanding. Everytime I get on the computer for more than 15 minutes she'll start trying to scramble up onto my lap, and then wanting to get down, then staring at me, and just distracting me. I just groomed her yesterday and already today she looks like fried chicken.

Let's go to a rave and behave like we're trippin cause we're so in love.

2007-08-02T04:22:00.000+12:00

Ham and I reached Langkawi in the morning on the first day. We left the night before and got to Berjaya Resort whatever nice and early at 8am. Thankfully we were allowed to check in at the time. We got a whole chalet to ourselves, divided into two rooms. The other room was for Rachel and Krystina. We spent the morning watching infomercials and left to pick the two up in the afternoon. Sauna solution!

Because our chalet was in the middle of the jungle, to get to our room or from our room back to the lobby, we had to take a buggy. They were available 24hours and is hell fun if the driver is a daredevil cause the swerving made for a lousy rollercoaster. Better than no rollercoaster I say. That's us on the buggy.

Our rooms were really nice. Wooden and erm big. Wonder why we didn't take any pictures. That's the two sleeping in the other room. Takes us 45 mintues to wake them up every morning -_- Ham is useless at waking them up. "Erm Ray? Krys? Time to wake up." Practically a whisper. I'm like storming around the room going "WAKE UPPPP!!! We're late! WAKE UP!" Admittedly, that didn't really work either.

Oh, this is the jungle view from our jungle chalet balcony.

We didn't really take very many pictures on this trip, none at all on the 3rd day cause Ray left her camera in the car. Which was a shame cause we rented a private boat on our third day and they took us to 5 different spots around Langkawi and we swam in the middle of the sea cause we treated the boat dude to some reefer. There was also this lake where we, with foresight, bought water guns and had a really nice time shooting water into each other's eyes.

Also, we didn't get to have pictures taken with Daniel. The guy who arranged the day for us. We met him the night before at Rasa restaurant where he was working as a waiter. Throughout the day he kept telling us to come visit him in Perhentian. He told us he had his own place there and kept promoting snorkeling packages to us. "We have really good teachers! From Holland etc." He yakked non-stop about diving and this that but when we got to the lake (which was 25 metres deep) and jumped in, Daniel didn't come into the water.

You know why? The fella can't swim! He's afraid of the water! HAHAHAHAH. So should have taken a picture with him, fella looked baked 24/7.

This is us at Pantai Tengkorak. The nicest beach we went to. The first hour was awesome cause we were the only ones around but soon after others came by. Heh the others.

What's left of their sandcastle.

What's left of ours. The unnknown slipper was the mouth of our Sandkenstein castle.

The waterfall! Telega Tujuh I think its' name was. So as you can see, the space to wade in the waterfall wasn't very big. But we jumped in anyway, the water was super clear.

Several groups of people came by and were taking pictures of the waterfall. It wasn't until much later we realized this waterfall probably wasn't meant to be swam in because people kept giving us curious looks. I don't know, I think all waterfalls are meant for swimming. Maybe we were just a weird bunch. Maybe with Krys' tattoo and mine they thought we were a mob :D

Hehe Ham's been packing on the pounds. Can see some fatness there muahaha

This is where we ate by the roadside. Some Laksa Power place. I loved it. It tastes like my highschool Assam Laksa which was the only redeeming factor of my 2nd highschool. Everyone else hated the laksa though ho hum can't please everyone.

During this trip I broke my non-drinking vow and drank every night because beer was so cheap. What a waste of time la really, within an hour I'd be lolling about wanting to go to sleep. No more drinking. I never get to that nice tipsy stage anyway, I either feel nothing or I feel like shit.

Great trip! Next stop, Tioman/Perhantian!

Back to school.

2007-08-01T22:28:00.000+12:00

Back to school, back to school, to prove to Dad that I'm not a fool..
Adam Sandler in one of my all-time favourite movies, Billy Madison!

I used to recite lines from that movie day after day. Till it kinda got on ppl's nerves, so I did it even more until it wore out heh.

So Fye didn't come home for the holidays and I miss him like mad. 8 years of annoying me and I still can't get enough. San didn't come home either, so now I just hate them both.

But Tigger came back! I met Tiger and GG (George) one night and we were hanging out in the park haha like we used to for years and GG was munching on this chocolate bar. Only it wasn't any ordinary chocolate, it was some health chocolate thing.

"Mahai 15bucks and taste like shit," GG said. He tossed it somewhere and we all continued talking when suddenly I saw something that looks exactly like a piece of stool, on the bench opposite ours. Long piece some more complete with creases and what nots.

"Is that shit?!"
Tiger looked over and laughed and laughed.
Stupid GG scrunched up his lousy chocolate and left it on the bench. I'm dead serious, it looked like shit. Then Tiger decided to pick up the shit, and put it on the swing.

GG and I took pictures with it. Freaking funny. No one's ever gonna use that swing again we said! Damn tiu right I can be so evil. I will definitely post the pictures up when Tiger sends it to me. Classic! Fye will so miss home when he sees it.

It's back!

2007-07-29T20:45:00.000+12:00

CNN is back on our Astro!

Though I've grown to love Aljazeera.

Been tearing almost daily watching the damn news.

It stops here. No more news for me.

It's ruined.

2007-07-22T16:11:00.000+12:00

Last night Mel told me a part of Deathly Hallows. It was a significant part too.
Even after I specifically told her not to tell me, she told me anyway and claimed "But you don't know who exactly."
If you've read the books..you'd know that its a 50/50 chance who lor. And the way you proclaimed it, I can tell who it is already lor.
Damn tulan.

Sigh.

Went out for lunch with my dad at the nearby wan tan mee place.
Met a couple of friends from the church I use to go to.
They sat at the table behind mine, so my back was facing them.
And while it was lovely and all to see them again...

They were loudly discussing the deaths that occurred in Deathly Hallows!
LOUDLY. I literally had my hands over my ears, only thing I didn't try was humming but I didn't want to be rude.
But still I heard the ending! This is so so so so so fucked up.
Have you ever tried very hard not to hear something? Well its something that will definitely backfire on your ass.

After we left the place my dad said "I know you heard the parts, I didn't. DON'T TELL ME."

Then I came home and spoke to Ham on the phone. I complained to him about overhearing the parts. WAHLAU. The fella go tell me the biggest part of all! He assumed that was what I heard.

Yeahla I know, know the ending nvm one ma..gotta read for the process. Mahai, its my goddamn decision right. I've been reading about Potter since I was in Primary school, way before the freaking hype and now that its all hyped up it's ruining everything. Every Tom, Dick and Harry is talking about it.

Why does the media ruin everything! When bands make it big, they turn to shit. When books make it big, they shit all over the place.

I know it's a children's story..and I shouldn't be worked up over something like this. But what's the fucking point of waiting a little over two years for the freaking book, and know the freaking ending before reading it. Why can't people be more sensitive toward this kinda thing? The same people yakking about it are the people who are not fans of it! WTF!

Fuck man. Must I stay home until I've finished the book? I am reading as slowly as possible because I never want it to end. I'm rationing the pages, savouring every word.

If I accidentally overheard, then fine can't be helped. But I HATE people who knows you don't wanna know, but wanna tell a bit a bit to see you get riled up. Like a freaking cheap thrill to them. Like wow, I got something to hold over your head, beg me not to tell you! I know knowledge is power la, but don't make me smash my fist into your face, it's not just about the book its the principle of it la! Wah. I'm really angry.

Sigh. I'm still pissed off. I'm so so pissed off. As if it's not already bad that on Sundays everywhere you go for lunch will be flocked by ppl with fake chirpy smiles and somehow, a slightly upturned nose.

I'm just bitter. I want to throw the book out the window. I want to slam it in someone's face. Right now I hate everyone.

If you don't understand why I'm angry, fuck off!

Later!

2007-07-21T16:29:00.000+12:00

- Langkawi was great! But 4 days is too short. I need at least a week.

- Ham and I fell when getting onyo the ferry. We fell on the wet steps, so he's limping and my back is bruised in 3 places.

- Have a few pictures from the trip I need to get from Rachel.

- Krystina is a must-have when on the beach/ in the sea and around alcohol.

- I'm off to collect my Harry Potter! *WHEE!

What you gonna tell her, after she discovers, you don't really love her.

2007-07-15T06:47:00.000+12:00

I have had Augusten Burroughs' Possible Side Effects for a few days now.

I am..sigh. I have all of Augusten Burroughs' books now. It's a collection. Now I've tried to collect many things, like all of the Ramones albums. All I have are unfinished collections of Guns and Roses, Smashing Pumpkins and RATM andd..probably some others. The only collections I have are when the band only has 2 or 3 albums. So it doesn't count cause you'd need the singles and okay nevermind.

He calls his dogs "animals plucked from nature." I do too!
And toward the end of the book he said, "And if given the oppourtunity, I'd eat Spam everyday for the rest of my life."
Augusten Burroughs, is my soulmate.

I hate those 'I am not a plastic bag' bags. I wonder if he does too. They are a mockery to environmentalists eveywhere, not that I'm one so I could be wrong. I hate baby tees (i also hate saying babyts) but anyway, I hate them with slogans on it. It's like Hello, I don't have a personality of my own so I really really need my shirt to give my identity some color or plain Lookie me! Lookie me! But you know what's funny, girls that wear cutesy shirts that says I need chocolate, Love me Love me or something stupid like that, have like this expression on their face that makes me think they have invisible shit smeared on their upper lip. Or maybe, someone hung their pet hamster on their clothesline, I don't know.

For Christmas last year, my sister bought me a bright pastel yellow shirt that says something along the lines of "Something something something, I threw an tantrum and got it". I thought it was thoroughly asinine. I was horrified. But delighted at the same time at its atrocity! But I love my sister to death so I wore it at home. So Joyce, now you know :D

Though..I like her shirt that says FreakHunter. Because it's green. It's the perfect shade of green. Then again thats not a freaking slogan.

Sometimes you can't make it on your own.

2007-07-11T17:57:00.000+12:00

Months ago, during one of our mellow moods, I asked Ham, "If a truck were to overturn right in front of your house, and no one got hurt," I said quickly, "And you could have anything to eat that you like in that truck, what would you want it to be filled with? Because somehow let's imagine the truck would be abandoned, but not the goodies inside."

Ham chose cakes. Funny, I never knew he liked them that much. I knew he liked cake, but didn't know it was at the top of the list. So I asked him what his favourite cake was, hoping to get it for his birthday this year. He said he didn't know and don't even have the faintest idea.

So the other day for Ham's birthday, I bought him 10 cakes from Bakerzin. Not the whole cake, just slices and stuff. I was on a mission! We were gonna discover his favourite cake. We almost did, until we came across one which was..pretty bad. I love having an honest boyfriend because instead of chowing them down and telling me they're all great he said "This one is bad. I feel like vomitting."

I thought, insane! How can throw up cake. So I took a really big bite. And goodness, it stuck to my throat, my mouth and it wouldn't go down! I drank a whole glass of orange juice and it still felt like the cake wanted to strangle me alive. Ugh. But the rest were pretty good. I would have taken a picture of the pretty cakes but all I had is my lousy camera phone which would make the cakes look lousy.

I've also cooked Ham every kind of prawn dish I know how. With cereal, with breadcrumbs, with garlic and curry leaves, everything! He loves prawns, I love him, I love prawns, he loves me.

Happy Family.

Bang bang bang.

2007-07-10T19:08:00.000+12:00

I critisize. That's what I do. I am generally a happy person with little complaints but I snub a whole lot of things and mock everything else.

I can't help smirking at studio pictures. After all studio pictures belong in a casting agency or wherever not lounging around blogs or friendster profiles. Well, unless you are amazingly vain. Not that that's a crime, but still, I smirk.

I ridicule certain people like crazy. I do it to your face too my friends know full well this blunt tongue of mine. You know girls who offer to spread their legs to one guy, then offer it to his friend or just offer it to the world, and then complain that the guy doesn't respect her? Hello? What did you expect? Just because you're a girl men must respect you is it? Respect yourself first la. Give them something to respect. Respect is earned. Think, think! Your punani isn't the only one in the world, just because you offer it, drive it all the way to his house, doesn't mean he has to worship it.

I get annoyed with people who think money is everything. Some people tell me I think this way because I've never had a problem with money. You thinkkkk..just because I don't whine about being broke 24/7 means I have like shitloads in my wallet. We make do, we provide for our children and make sure everyone has a roof over their head, food in their stomachs and leftovers for rainy days. Anything else, luxury of nice clothes and flashy cars, are bonuses.

I sometimes am furious with people who think they have the worst lives in the world. I am so pitiful lor, I kena this last time, my past was like this, I am going through this. Eh, everyone has their share of bad "pasts" and their share of pain. It's part and parcel of life la. Walk through it, bitch about it even fine, but don't wallow and moan and groan every waking minute of your life, you're bringing down the others around you. Because as friends, or when people regard you as one, your suffering rubs off because we care. So sometimes, if the problem isn't really of magnitude, either tone the whining down, or save it. Having the world carry your emotional baggage for you won't solve your problems. Misery loves company? That's just a sick idiom to live by.

Oh and people who use their "problems" as a freaking conversation piece. If you have a real dilemma, the first thing someone should do is to somewhat sit in quiet, figure things out and plan your step by steps. Then maybe speak to a friend, seek refuge if need be. When a real problem comes knocking, and your first instinct is to announce it to the whole world and to yak about it for days, I am sorry but I will not be taking your so-called problem seriously. Have you not had real problems? If you had you'd know that there are problems so severe, talking would not do shit. Venting would not do jack. It does not help in the least.

Okay and everyone knows this one, I cringe verbally (heh heh) at bad music. I just..cannot. I'd rather have the silence than bad music playing. It's funny huh as I know I love the music I love, but there are songs I cannot stand! There's an abundance of songs to slit your wrists to nowadays, to make you feel like dancing into the busy street and get slammed by a truck. Not in a good way either. So since I'm so sensitive about this, and since you also so sensitive about certain things, how bout humoring me and turning the damn hitzfm mixfm shit off when I'm in your car? :P Ok..Mel and Ray and gonna let me have it for this one. Mel and I almost had a fistfight over the radio because Michael Buble was playing.

But at the end of the day, these are little things. We all put up with each other's shit. But there are shit people can't take, the stank is rank! It makes people want to run! So when you give people shit thats too hard to take (because it hurts as its coming out), accept that certain people won't take it. So clicheddd but we all have our limits. I know we've all said "Friends to the end no matter what." But come on, even most "I love yous" are only when its applicable. Not all "I Love Yous" can withstand the worst beatings. "Chicks before dicks" as Mel happily recites, and "Bros before Hos", how often do people break these mottos. Whatever it is, its usually "Me before You." So watch your step, don't take the people around you for granted. Know that many things happen to you, because you let it or you nurtured it to grow in that ugly direction. Take the blame once in a while, be amazed how much you'll grow. I mean, really take the blame and not just say it because you're trying different approaches to get people to pity you, or to get their attention.

When you know your friends has been awesome friends for so long, and suddenly they turn their back on you, maybe, just maybeeee its you la. Don't blame them for not being good friends, after all you've sung their praises, take a quick look in the mirror.

And, radio stations off when I'm in the car. Thanks.

Good times, great taste, not at McDonalds.

2007-07-05T21:07:00.000+12:00

Cassie dances to the Ramones' Rock N Roll High School!
Rock, rock, rock, rock, rock'n'roll high school!

My high school wasn't rock, neither were any others but high school time was the most "rock" time I had. Tribute to Jon, En and Gene who very conveniently left me in this country while they are playing and making music where they supposedly belong.

I was rummaging through their multiplys to see what each one was up to because we don't email very often anymore *ahem En and Gene.

Guess what I found!!
HAHAHAHAHAHA!! (Thanks Gene)
This is before they had had mermaid green hair (yeah the whole head), the beatles hairstyle, the mohawk and everything! This is wayyyyy back. We go way back. Sigh, good times. I think En was like..11.

I should be very thankful I'm not in this picture. Me..at that age..hehehahaehah cannot take it.

-_-

2007-07-05T02:48:00.000+12:00

I was in the kitchen making my parents' nightly orange juice when they came home. Halfway squeezing the oranges my dad came into the kitchen and told my kakaks how "he got injured". "Itu orang ah, kaki pecah, muka lebam tau."

-_-

Kakak Siti said "Tuan itu mainan bola kan!"
Kakak Afie "Kena pukul bola ke?"

hahahahahahahahahahaa.

:( My dad's right arm is about half an inch thicker than the left. That's how bruised up it is :(

Ration, heh.

2007-07-05T01:30:00.000+12:00

My dad came home with his right arm covered in red bruises and abrasions from his wrist all the way to his shoulder. He had been pushing himself while playing badminton for a couple of months. He's felt the strain on his arm but he ignored it and continued to play. His friends goes to China Open to play and win medals so since he wants to keep himself at their level, or at least somewhere there he goes the extra mile.

In the past few months he has come home with several injuries, a sprained ankle etc but he only rests for a week before playing again. That's it. I've confiscated his badminton things and banned him for playing for at least 3 months. Maybe 6. My dad obliged.

He got the red bruising after he went for treatment and they massaged his "internal wounds". But later in the evening when he showed my mom and aunt his arm my mom exclaimed, "What happened?!"

"I was in a fight," he said while turning his arm around showing them the other side, equally bruised. "I won, so you can imagine the other guy's condition."
My mom stared at his arm for a second, looked at me and went back to her soup while my aunt cracked up.

My parents are in Ijok now near or in Kuala Selangor. *WHEE. My dad sent me an sms saying "I bought 3 kilos of sotong and 4 kilos of giant prawns." Yayy my parents doesn't even eat prawns. Dad is allergic. So..this only means..more for me!

Last night after I had two plates of rice, my dad shared his giant bak chang with me. My grandma made it specially for him, it's 7 inches long and 4 inches thick. My grandma knows how much my dad and I love the pork fats so it was filled with fat! YUM. After that within the next 2 hours I had another 3 normal sized bak changs. My dad looked at me as I was finishing my 3rd one and he asked if I go to the toilet after eating so much. I told him no cause ahem I usually constipate after eating a lot of bak chang. Which is everyday these days. He went into the kitchen and came out with 3 pills. "Take these, there's a bit of laxative in it but these pills are meant to expel fat and oil from your body. Maybe you should take four."

Stupid pills. Gave me stomachache at 6 in the morning. I'm not going near them again. I went to the toilet thrice. It was the kind of stomach pain that knocks the wind out of you and you feel like barfing at the same time. It's just not worth the pain.

I think my eating habits are starting to scare my family. What. Everyone is telling that I lost weight and somehow that has fueled my appetite. I mean I've always been eating a lot but when I'm with my family I eat and eat and eat.

Hmph my dad and I..sigh. The other day I went for lunch with Rachel and her dad at Sunrise duck and her dad ordered a whole duck for the three of us. "Wow! Damn a lot!" Rachel looked so happy to see so much duck Then I thought and then said out loud "My dad and I have a whole duck just for the two of us." When Rachel and her dad were done there were about a quarter plus duck left and I finished it. No shame. I left two pieces there cause I didn't want them to think my family was starving me hahaha.

My dad and I eat in excess. That might be a but of an understatement. When we go for our favourite siew yok in Kuchai Lama two of us would eat RM40 worth of siew yok in the coffee shop. We looked over at another table of six who were paying for their meal and theirs was also about RM40. Hmm..

When we have hawker food, my dad used to have char kuay teow, curry mee and something else like chee cheong fun or wantan mee. He'd always order three different things. This was when I was younger. Now I've upgraded to two different things and he's downgraded to two or sometimes even one. I try to maintain when I'm out with friends cause even though I have a healthy appetite I don't wanna look like I'm gorging myself with food due to starvation.Or maybe when I eat with my dad it's free and my appetite is as one with an elephant's.

I've tried dieting once. Maybe two years ago when I was gaining so much weight I couldn't fit into my jeans. But that was the most miserable time of my life. I've never felt more pitiful or pathetic. I just felt so sad to refuse extra rice, to choose something less fattening, or to have only 2 meals a day. I was practically tearful inside during that time. So, never again will I deny myself the pleasure of eating. Not yet anyway. Since you all said I lost weight ma! :D :D

To think when I was in primary school, I hated eating. My mom would sit there with a cane and make me finish my food. I hated dinnertime. Since everyone leaves the table before me (I take an hour to eat my food), I'd roll up my rice into a tissue and throw it down the toilet bowl. i was so skinny my dad kept stuffing me with food. Look what happened to me now. Omg, what's gonna happen to Esther she's going through the exact same phase. She uses the same excuses I did. Headache la, stomachache la, fever la. Just to escape dinner.

Anyway, I'm only young once. In a couple of years I can't eat like this and not be riddled with a million and one illnesses. So, seize the day! Makan!

Hua Xin.

2007-07-04T01:41:00.000+12:00

I do a lot of things that I don't enjoy doing. I go to places I don't like. I talk about things which otherwise I would think are a waste of my time. But I do them because of the people I want to be there for. Life can be all of an obligation. But it is a small sacrifice for a greater cause.

From time to time I would think of the returns these sacrifice should reap. I'm only human its natural to think about this policy. To want a piece of cake on someone else's birthday and to want to have cake to share with someone on a birthday..

But you know, not all accords work like a boomerang. Hell even a boomerang doesn't work half the time.

On days like these when cakes are left out to rot, I think about that negligent No, I think about that careless Can't. I think of all the times I ran to their sides and left my own world on hold, and in the end all I'm left with is all loneliness one world could hold.

No disappointment, just despair.

I see past those laughter lines.

2007-07-02T21:16:00.000+12:00

Rachel has been back for a couple of days although this time we are not glued at the side. I guess we speak so much everyday while she's away it doesn't really feel as if she's been away at all.

Okay, what nonsense. I definitely felt her absence. But you know, it seems when this year was spent being a homely girl, I should have all the time in the world. Funnily enough I don't. I have my dad to be with, Esther to tutor, my mom's errands to run and Joyce and I have decided to sort of alternate the days we are out so one of us is home. Plus I don't like leaving Cassie at home alone for too long. Also, Ham lives quite a distance away and sudden whims to see him takes over and he comes to pick me up.. and there goes a whole day.

There are things to do when there is nothing to do. Like how I asked Elle if she was bored now that she wasn't working and she's home all day. She said "No because there's washing, cleaning and cooking to do."

I wash, cook and clean too! To the point my kakaks told me not to cause I'm making them look bad. Okay la I don't really wash but I do cook and clean.

Anyway so now that I don't have a social life, my life at home has finally begun. Mommy and daddy depends on me. Like I get to make big family decisions that I shouldn't need to, not at this age. But it comes a time I ust buck up and this is it.

Though sometimes I do miss my friends dreadfully, I miss their company, the banter and the laughter. Most of all I miss that sense of belonging, having these people at my side. But my friends are rational creatures and would agree with me that family comes first. Plus my friends will always be family so here's to hoping I don't completely fade out.

Don't marinate chicken in kunyit, ever.

2007-07-02T20:38:00.001+12:00

Heng celebrated his birthday a few weeks back and he had a BBQ in Ham's house.

See how big Cassidy has grown!
Ham the Hermit and I. We're the only two who had the party hats on all night.

That's Nicole, 7 and Kenji, 5. Leong's kids. When they came in they greeted me with their usual "Jie jie" but Leong had to correct them and told them to call me Auntie because I'm their father's friend. Damn tiu. But Leong is my precious "chor tai ti" kaki so cannot be angry at him long :P Leong has another kid on the way, his baby boy will be due in September and I get to choose his name!

Joanna and I. Haven't seen her months. She's still the same quicky chick.

This is Susan. Susan is also my mahjong kaki. We both learnt mahjong together under the guidance of Miss Adele. Sometimes Susan and I get so bored in Ham's house when the guys are sleeping we tried playing mahjong just to two of us. Yeah, yeap.

This is Adele! Adele and I have been friends since I was in Form 1 but she went to Australia a year plus after that and I haven't seen her since recently! She used to be one of the older girls I hung out with during school times. She's the best! She can also seriously dance hip hop. Bump and grind yo!

Victor and Connie brought baby Caeley over for an hour. But I haven't got pictures of her from Susan. When her eyes are closed and she looks grumpy she looks like Victor but when her eyes are wide open she looks like Connie hahha.

Mika sucks ass.

2007-07-01T07:01:00.000+12:00

It was Andrea and Cameron's engagement dinner last night so I got to see the technicolor gang! *Whee! Everything is back in place! I haven't seen them in months which made me a little wistful because I used to see them ALL the time but last night made me feel as if I've always been there and nothing has changed. Elle is still as level-headed as ever, how she's constantly so temperate and objective still amazes me. Plus she's the perfect wife! Perry is still a ding-dong. But you know, the kind of ding-dong everyone looks up to, or at least I do. He's really one of the kind. Tyler is still the best friend anybody and everybody should be so lucky to have, I cannot stress this enough. Aran seemed to have mellowed (why keep thinking of new projects ah!) a little but I got to see Bawanee quite the tipsy! Fun! She should be drunk all the time! Eve looked like she's mellowed too, very "teacherly" hehe. Joachim is still Joachim, borderline weird, but the cool kinda weird of course. As for Andre, I only know him as the Happy Buddha. So again, Congratulations Andrea and Cameron! You're both a great catch on your own so that makes a great couple!

I watched Transformers today. Not that I was very eager to watch it but I fell asleep for a little while toward the end. When I told the rest I fell asleep for a while they looked at me aghast. Then again when I tell people my all-time favourite movie is Bandits they give me that wary look hm.

I went to Somo just now for the first time. We were supposed to go to Finnigan's but when Arthur and I reached there was extremely loud hip hop music (and not the good kind) playing that just turned me off. So Art suggested Somo.

"You'll love the place Stel. It's damn chill and bla bla bla"
"Art, after years of being my friend you do realize that I can't stand "high-class" places right? Makes me feel out of place."
After I said that he had this uncomfortable "err" look on his face so I said "But its okay, its always the company that counts."
His face softened when I added "As long as there isn't anybody there that would make me want to shoot them."

(I realize today was an eventful day! A movie and a erm bar place in one day! I guess I've mellowed too. I'm quite tired of Velvet and the nightlife. I just wanna be home all the time. But my friends don't particularly like hanging out in my house so..it's time to get back in the game HARHAR)

Okay I know. I say incredibly uncomfortable things sometimes. I'm honest. I like or don't like I say la you can't take the heat then don't talk to me.

Hasn't everyone noticed how I am? Having known me for years even if we're not close. People who don't know me so well say to me "Oh you'll like it everyone says the place/food/whatever damn nice. And I always say the same old thing, "My opinion and taste usually differs from "everyone else." But then the person looks uncomfortable..and the atmosphere would be awkward. But frankly I just don't give a shit :D My close friends know how I am. Rachel looked at Mel and I, I dressed in a demin skirt, plain top and cons and Mel in some black dress and said "You both look damn different." She herself was in skin-tight grey leggings and some kind of longish top with big buttons that I don't know what its called. So we're all different. And we usually hate the things the other likes. Except for..food.

Oh, the next person who asks me to go to Laundry for the 100th time in the past year is really gonna get it. It's realllly getting old. Actually it's toned down now, when the place had just opened I heard the word Laundry so much I started to curse when its mentioned.

Anyway, my post has gone from a happy beginning to a happily irritated end, time for bed!

Electric girls and worn out boys.

2007-06-27T13:48:00.000+12:00

My thumbs feel twice their size. I gave my mom a one hour massage last night, her feet, her knees (she prays kneeling), her hands, her neck, her back, her head.

Anyhoo, it's a good day today :)

Lunch for two.

2007-06-24T19:42:00.001+12:00

Remember I said my dad and I had a big lunch at Mui Hiong Jln Imbi? Where the minced pork with salted fish was the bombs? Bombs until my dad ordered 3 servings. Yum. The giant steamed fish haven't arrived yet.

Oh last night while Joyce and I were having out nightly talk-nonsense. We came up with the two words we really can't stand hearing or reading and would never use. Actually I came up with one and she came up with hers.

Mine is: Diamante. Goodness, its the stupidest sounding word in the world. Hate hate hate.
Joyce's: Adjourned. "Some more ah, the peope who use this word has to use it like 39743 times if they are blogging in one post."

I never realized lor. My sister qutie sensitive. Like that also can irritate her, its far far better than diamante. Especially the -te. Ugh.

I don't know much (about dogs), but I know I love you

2007-06-24T19:22:00.000+12:00

Oh yes, she's beeg! She's more than twice her weight and her size than when I brought her home.

On the way to pick my mom up at the airport, I took Cassie for a ride. Uhm her fur a bit unruly cause I hadn't brushed her for 2 days :D

Argh. Cassie loves my Che monkey, it was my Christmas present from Tyler but she cries and cries and cries for it. Good thing is she doesn't chew on it anymore, she just holds it to sleep sometimes.

This is Cassie's favourite afternoon nap spot.

All in a day's work.

2007-06-22T02:44:00.000+12:00

My dad and I came to a sad conclusion today.
That his favourite chocolate, the Almond Gold, has been discontinued.
As for me, the Myojo Pedas. It was the best ever mee goreng in the entire universe galaxy thingy. It's over.

I'm drowning my sorrow in this bag of Parmesan cheese. I've eaten half the bag sadly dumping the contents into my Myojo Pedas deprived mouth. I hope this doesn't make me sick hrm.

Anyway today I tagged along with my dad while he ran his errands. We went to Menara Maybank where this lady tending to us gave me these silver wrapped chocolates which were out of this world! Should have asked her where its from. Or maybe I was hungry. Later we went for lunch at Mui Hiong at Jln Imbi. My dad ordered something soy chicken, bean sprouts with salted fish, some giant steamed fish, and three servings of minced pink with salted fish. When I took the first bite of the minced pork I knew why he ordered 3 servings. They were the bomb! I had two bowls of rice! (hm thinknig back why did the lady give me chocolates, did she think I was a child?! probably.)

We were walking around Lot 10 and we passed MNG in Isetan and there was a sale. (Here's one line you don't read in this blog often) My dad gestured for me to go look. I told him Nah dowan. But then he said "You've been wearing Joyce's clothes, learn to buy some of your own." Wahlau even my dad looking down on me. Fine so I chose one top. There were so many ppl I was getting nervous. Women on a mission, don't mess with them.

After that we went to the Berjaya Vacation Club office where he booked 2 rooms in Berjaya Langkawi Spa and Resort whatever for 4 days for me! Yay yay! I've never been to Langkawi (yeah I know) so its a big deal! I have the confirmation slip in my wallet yay! We got Deluxe Chalets on the Water whatevers wheeeee can just dive off the balcony into the water.

Ham came over for dinner and then him, my family and I went grocery shopping. My favourite kind of shopping. I am now a proud owner of 3 bags of Ruffles (different flavors), 2 cans of Tulip Spicy Luncheon Meat, 3 bags of Milano orange biscuits, 3 packets of Ayamas Sausages with cheese, 2 boxes of Lindt orange chocolates, 2 bars of Cadbury milk chocolates and I really can't remember the rest. I was going nuts. So nuts that I'm listing them out here when its my usual when we grocery shop. Esther was choosing her own stuff where she saw some milk cartons and it said "Free 2" or something and she told my dad "Daddy look, free 2!" where my dad replied "I'm buying it for you you're not paying, everything here is free ok?"

Oh oh and when we were watching Al Jazeera, there was a clip of this mob beating a dummy with Abbas' face on it. Esther asked "Why do they hate that man daddy?"
"Because they are naughty boys la." and then he turned to me and said "Someone must have paid them to do it. These people should be taken off the streets." Heh, that's my dad. Strong opinions just like me! Or me like him hm.

To top the day off Ham and I went to buy ABC and Chendol for my family. My mom's so cute, everytime she takes a big bite she'd shudder and say "Mm so fattening".

All in all, its been a fanfuckingtastic day!
*dives back into the Parmesan cheese.

PS: Argh need my phone cable so I can upload super freaking cute can die pictures of Cassie!

One little two little three little Bak Changs.

2007-06-21T06:11:00.000+12:00

Actually the one I'm having now isn't little at all. I found a giant one in the stash that Voon Ying (Joyce's bf) brought over. And its MINE. It's huge its the size of both my fists put together. Oh joy.

Cassidy is sick. She's got an ear infection and skin irritation *sobs. The first time she took her antibiotics from the syringe willingly because she bites everything so as soon as she bit it I leaked the medicinal goodness down her throat. Hah. But she's smart, from then onwards when she sees the syringe she'd run. She'd run from upstairs all the way downstairs so now I put cheese at the tip :) She's never gonna see cheese the same way again.

If that's not difficult.. Her ear drops. My goodness it took me and my two kakaks to hold her still, distract her, and discard the liquid into her ear. She turns into doggie Rambo ready to attack anyone who comes close with the bottle.

Cassie has seen two vets at her clinic in Sg Long and both of them, meeting her for the first time said to me "This one must be very naughty." And the other said "Oh she's going to be a handful for you."

Now that I'm back in PJ I took her to the vet in Taman Megah and he said "This is one is a rascal ya." Took two nurses to hold her so that the doctor can clean out her ears. She's a miniature poodle for goodness sake.

During diner Cassie nicked some of my Nasi Kandar. My dad and I have Nasi Kandar like twice a week at least when I'm home. I've had the same thing for a decade. Kayu's fried chicken (thigh) and sotong and occasionally fish eggs.

Today she also accomplished destroying my mom's wallpaper. Someone has to come tear down the whole thing and re-stick it :(

Her designated wee-wee and pang sai place is at my parent's room door :D :D
Good morning to my mom! Goodnight to my dad!

Damn it this bak chang doesn't have yolk in it. Bad..bad thing when there's no yolk. Cause it'd tempt me to have another one just to satisfy my yolk craving. But cannot..this is my 4th bak chang today. No meat in this one some more, pure fat. Yum yum yum it's like drinking butter!
Good luck to me.

One fly tune to have black and white in one room.

2007-06-20T16:44:00.000+12:00

New look :) I tweaked it on my own too!

Just Like Music by Marvin Gaye and Erick Sermon. I've been listening to it all the time for the past months. I thought I'd get sick of it soon because of the absence of guitar solos and crazy drumbeats. But no I'm still going nuts over it. Everyone and anyone would like this song, so chill.

Then again I thought everyone and anyone would despise Mika's music especially that Grace Kelly song which sounds exactly like fingernails on a blackboard, going higher higher and higher. But Rachel likes Mika *cringes. Apparently the relax take it easy song is by the same fella too. Cannot la how to enjoy a song when it gives you images of fat men in pink leotards with pink cheeks looming at you with a pink plastic bag in their hands ready to suffocate you to death. My sister likes Mika too *sobs so I have to put up with it.

Jo was telling me that she was pissed at her boyfriend for something when another friend said relax and listen to this song. Then he (its a he some more!) turned on that "Relax, take it easy song". She said "What the hell is this? Listen to this lagi stress wei."

The worst one is the lollipop song. The first 30 seconds.. I stared my sister. She ignored my stare. I stared harder and she finally said "Sorry Jie" and turned it off. Want to kill me is it.

SHIT that song I swear I could see Telletubbies high on acid getting it on. Do you know what mental images like that can do to a person?

I've been eating 3 bak changs for lunch every afternoon. 2 normal ones and one nyonya one that only my grandma knows how to make. I'm eating my 3rd one now and I must have chosen the wrong one :( This one has like 38592759 nuts in it :(

My Father's Eyebrows

2007-06-20T06:22:00.000+12:00

I talk about my dad all the time (yes my friends you would know) and I've written posts on him pretty often too so I don't see how a Father's Day post would be any different cause well everyday is Father's day.

When I was out at Mel's birthday dinner Daddy Oo texted me saying "I bought many goodies back but three are for you. You'd never guess what they are so don't bother trying."
I replied saying "Hmph no faith in me."
At the time I KNEW there were gonna be mangosteens cause a few hours before I accidentally mentioned mangosteens. My dad is sharp when it comes to what we want so I am careful with what I say I want because he will get it for me by hook or by crook.

When I got home and asked what they were he said "First bag has otak-otak in it, and the second one mangosteens-"
"I knew it!!"
"But you can never guess whats in the 3rd bag"

I went to check. It was another bag of mangosteens. He bought two gigantic bags of them.

I'm up to my armpits in mangosteens.

I remember when, I remember, I remember when I lost my mind

2007-06-19T09:18:00.000+12:00

I've learnt many things from Rachel but all of this year one of the things she has said rings clear in my mind. That people will love their own opinion(s) over you and your happiness. What matters most to others is what they think and what they feel even over their own friends. A small handful escapes this. And I'm one of them! I could murder a person and someone would justify it as long as I'm happy.

After many years I finally realized the significance...that whenever I have a problem, or whenever life throws me for a spin and I'm unsure of what I am doing she asks very simply, "Stel, are you happy? If you are, I am for you. Nothing else matters."

So Ray, I'm happy buying water and not boiling it ok? Next time don't simply agree agree with other ppl. Hmph. Ask you don't buy clothes but make them yourself see how you react. Or buy from pasar pagi don't waste money on Marc Jacobs where the prices gives me a mild heart attack.

It's one in the same ok? :D Bye, remember to buy Cassie treats.

She'll hear me.

2007-06-19T09:15:00.000+12:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MEL!

I'll post on our dinner and the cake story when I get the pictures from Kim. Can you make sure it doesn't go up her blog since 500 ppl reads it a day and in the picture I looked like something was poking my side, because someone was. Cool pictures like that only deserves to be on deserted blogs like this one. More like a treat ma.

I know I haven't said it in a long time but today I wanted you to know that "Yes, I still love you." We all do (above) and Be good, don't become the office slut :)

Remember when I put up with your snoring? :D

That's neither here nor there.

2007-06-19T08:22:00.000+12:00

While I was driving to Ham's house I realized it's been so long and I still get the heart-thumping feeling of blessedness when I'm on my way to his house :)

I made a mistake of taking a 2 hour nap with him in the afternoon. It's almost 5am and though I used to be able to go days without sleeping I can't anymore I know I'll be sleepy later in the afternoon and I wanna go for breakfast with my dad in a few hours.

I tried to go to bed. I played with Cassie for a while, combed her fur. I turned off the lights and as usual my mind started to wander, I started to think about Rachel coming back and where we should go on a trip next month. Thought abot Ham. I thought about Arthur and Mel starting work. I thought about Cassie and whether she has an ear infection. Thought about Ham. Thought about my sister in Redang. Then bla bla bla I started to sing Christmas carols in my head. The one that I really hate some more the Fa la la la la one. OMG so I started to play with my phone, looking at my pictures one by one. I even looked through Cinema, Forex Rates and other nonsense on my phone when I decided ENOUGH I'm going back online.

SIGH Fye and San are not coming back for the mid year holidays. *SOB* How do I get through the days. I've had them at my disposal for years!! HOW NOW.

Heh was chatting with Rachel and was telling a story about how Ham and I would buy water from those big water machines every other day. We'd lug our empty mineral water bottles and fill them up. Someone advised us to boil water or instead of wasting money on buying water like this. Rachel said she agreed with the person and I said "Eh don't nag ppl about how they drink water when you spend like water." Really one. No shame. Can spend few hundred dollars on clothes but ask ppl to save like 2bucks and boil water. Hehehhe I damn bitchy.

Anyway, Ham wants to buy that Diamond water filter thing. There's a promotion now it costs 3k plus but its buy one free one so we're looking for someone to share it with. OMG how did I get to the topic of water filters, so sien until it came to this.

Oh oh I was browsing through Multiply (that's how freaking free I am) and found interesting pictures!!

My brother and my boyfriend! (Before he was my boyfriend) Look! They both have horrible hair!!
I didn't know such a picture existed! But now I know why!

One is an idiot, the other is insane.

2007-06-18T10:43:00.000+12:00

I got to see Alex last night for Mel's birthday dinner and I realized how much I had missed him and how significant he is in my life and how much I treasure him.

I miss his "Stella Oo! Don't you dare do that ah! Stella Oo! Don'ttttt. Stella Oo! How can you say that to people's face. Aiijorr whats wrong with you! Stella Oo! I said don't touch that!!" I use to amaze him with my lack of tact. How I used to drive him crazy. He'd stop the car to go to the bank and when he comes back to his car there would be neck ties tied to his steering wheel, his readview mirror hidden, his seat pushed all the way back flat with seat belts intertwined. Or how I would wind down the window and ask random girls on the street if they'd go on a date with him. He loves me to no end I tell you.

All my boyfriends never good enough for him. Not one. Not that there were many but still. He'd find flaws in them but find me perfect despite all my attempts at driving him nuts. He taught me how to throw a punch and I usually only use them on him. All his ex-girlfriends also quite cow one to me. Just now during dinner when we were laughing about the cake and laughing about Arthur, I realized I MUST make it a point to keep him in my life. I cannot lose this guy.

Also, I look like a pau in this picture.

Rachel knows the rhythm of my heart.

2007-06-17T19:41:00.000+12:00

Amazing SIX-Year-Old Singer - The most amazing home videos are here

The arrogates are spewing nonsense

2007-06-13T01:55:00.000+12:00

I haven't had polite conversation in a long time. I haven't felt fellowship, I haven't been in the company of interesting people. I miss my friends.

I've been talking to Rachel and she is of the opinion that I don't make new friends because as soon as I set my eyes on someone new I'm too busy judging them. Probably true. But it's better to judge in the beginning and be set straight later on. Than to whole-heartedly embrace someone and to be made a fool later on, right?

I have the few relationships I need that don't require any effort to maintain. Its just there whether I like it or not and with one look or word everything's back in place and I'm home. Okay maybe it's not as if they don't require any effort to maintain but more like its sails on effortlessly.

During this quiet, I have done a bit of thinking, just a bit. I've realized that even as we grow a little older, no one is any wiser they are just a little more careful, a little more crafty. There's always someone who is stuck in high school and that person will drag a whole willing bunch back down that sick sick memory lane. There's always some sort of competition going down, always something snide to say about someone else but people are smart, they say mean things with sweet overtones. Like oh we're saying shit about you because we care. Yeah, because we care about ourselves and how your attitude is affecting US and OUR wellbeing.

It's shit, Rachel and I said. It even happens in adult social circles. Men and women, in their 50s bitching "nicely" about a friend. I hate that I've played a small part in these instances ebfore. An agreeable comment was all it took and I've contributed to the High School Wars. I'm like that kid who nobody really sees and my opinion would only be valued if it was on their side.

So when one person makes a decision that everyone else disagrees with, that person has become a leper. People would play you hot and cold depending on their mood, because apparently once you're a leper people can be self-righteous and have a reasons why they are above you. I've seen this many times, I've watched from afar and I've been in those shoes. It happens.

Boy am I fucking tired of walking on eggshells. My fist is tired from clutching all that salt. I'm tired of people and the lousy system they live by. I am sick of playing with children who compares the size of their testicles.

Thank God I have perfect friends, the above is so behind me. In fact its been behind me for a while now but I just wanted to rant on about it because although it doesn't happen to me, it still happens to the people around me. There are stupid people everywhere, what to do.

You show your age, when you drown your rage.

2007-06-06T23:42:00.000+12:00

Cassie has developed a habit of crying and whining whenever I leave the room or am out of her sight. It's not like she's clingy, she's not. She doesn't like being held for long unless she's in the car with me. Sexy the husky cries when Ham leaves the room and waits at the door for him to come back in. Quite the whiny pair these two. Even if we're in the shower which is in the same room, they'd whine the ENTIRE time from the other side of the door.

When Cassie is downstairs with me while I'm cooking and I go upstairs for 30 seconds to get something, she'd run up 3 steps on the stairs and be stuck there because under any other circmustances, she does not do stairs.

Ah the elections, the elections. Half the democrats voted for military force in Iraq but right now ALL of them decided against it. I know "flip-flopping" is quite commonplace in politicians but sometimes it can get quite ridiculous. Many many videos to watch, many many readings. This is gonna be like the Olympics, there's something to stay tuned to everyday.

Oh that reminds me, if the ending of Pirates 3 wasn't a mockery of George Bush Jr. I don't know what it is.

My reflection, dirty mirror.

2007-05-31T02:55:00.000+12:00

I just read my sister's blog and damn I want to eat Nutella from the jar. The big one. But i'm still slightly afraid of it.

Coughing phlegm for a fortnight is not pleasant. Speaking in a drag queen's voice can be fun but it gets old. Sleepless nights and a very painful throat.

But I did eat 7 packets of Mamee Monster last night. And I sense that my luncheon meat binge will come on again. It's like the tide.

The only thing though, that I've had so much of I'm put off for life, is orange popcicles. What was it called again, Split? I scarfed down on those like they were air.

I'm chatting with Rachel on MSN and its been said that in Grey's Anatomy, she would be Meredith and I would be Christina -_- I always have to be the one who's a bit chee sin thanks. But I love Christina so okay I'm Christina.

Rachel also asked me to read this. I agree with the fella. I don't have shopping or eating in my hobbies in Friendster, I checked. But still, I could pass for one of the mediocre girls he's talking about. Ray says we're not those girls because we have a different way of life. I get what she means but I'm still not sure. I hate that as I was reading it I was steadily agreeing and then I hated it even more when I went on the defense wondering if I could be one of those girls. Whatever am I talking about bah.

I love it when Ham is watching Boston Legal, its the one time he laughs out loud several times in an hour when facing a screen. It's good that we have one common interest so far. No our dogs, myself and ganja doesn't count. Actually there's also our love for Heroes, Lost and Rome. Oh oh and we love (hang on let me ask him) *ahem he said something very inappropriate so nevermind scratch that I'll think of some myself, shit there really isn't anything else other than TV shows! Plus, he hates The OC, he falls asleep at Grey's, thinks Veronica Mars is stupid and he doesn't enjoy Weeds! True, these are "flimsy" shows but I so enjoy watching them. We have different ideas on how someone should be when in a relationship but yet we agree on what a relationship should be based on. Like I would get slightly upset if he were to speak to one of his exes and not tell me about it but when I tell him about my conversations with my exes he's like "Oh really?" and goes back to what he's doing. Damn it. Why can't he be more insecure and jealous :(

I am too much of a sure thing. But then again, so is he :)
I've had my sister tell me, a week ago, that if she were to reach a point in a relationship where she'd know she would be ready for a long-term one, it would be when she's me and her partner Ham. *gulp. And that she thinks its wonderful how we fight and "unfight" ourselves. First mature thing my sister ever said to me! And that's why I tell her everything and she's one of my bestest friends even though she's a lazy bitch who scores straight As in all her exams.

Woof woof

2007-05-29T10:41:00.000+12:00

Cassie looks weird cause daddyHam had her fringe cut off, or you know the area in between her eyes above her nose. She looks like Whoopi Goldberg without eyebrows.
We put boxes around the room and computer table to stop them from chewing on our computer cables.
Teeny weeny!

And I will flail under these lights

2007-05-25T14:07:00.000+12:00

My pups are waking me every 3 hours. I should learn to ignore them but their eager faces and antsy scrambling at my bedside... They are just irresistable.

And once in a while, at times much like now I can't fall back asleep so here I am.

It's ten in the morning. Ham and I have been "marathoning" Rome for the past few nights sleeping at 8am and we're done with Season 1 and halfway through Season 2 where we're back to the part where we have to wait and download each following episode. Woe. Good stuff.

When they're naughty I feel like smacking them sometimes because my incessant Nos obviously does not scare them. But when Ham rises and I stand beside him they both stare back and forth at us. Like its Wimbledon. Ha. The husky is unquestionably not afraid of me. She's like a cow gallivanting (yes she's a dignified cow) around the room trying to trip me or shove Cassie into a corner. I feel like renaming her to Ah Goo.

We bought a cane. Not to hit them but to make a realy loud "whoop" when we hit the bed to scare them. It has stopped working. They are puppies and I really do want them to behave like puppies, get up to no good, make a whole lot of noise but it gets to me when they start breaking things and ripping my books into pieces. Yes, Sigmund Freud was all over the room. I put things that are a danger to them away but they are destroying things that would result in a danger to them.

I get angry I yell and they look sad for a few moments before everything goes back to normal. Havoc. But I'm loving every minute of it.

Mommy said sit!

2007-05-16T04:05:00.000+12:00

And they did.

Caeley

2007-05-16T03:53:00.000+12:00

Connie was walking around today. The beauty of natural births.

the unexamined life...well you know the rest.

2007-05-15T06:19:00.000+12:00

I think real life doesn't begin until you've created life. Rare indeed is a person whose views never change throughout her life and I think in this case I have never changed my mind. I don't know where it began but I can't remember a time I didn't feel this way.

I have had a quiet few months these months. Months full of reflection, of betterment and shifts to affirm accountability. Ham has brought out a side in me that is docile and cool. For the first time ever I can experience calm during a hurricane. There is no need for me to shout to get my point across, there is no need for yelling and no need to damage the things around us. He's made me understand that.

I've felt that kind of love that was so intense and exciting that it interfered with sleep and appetite. But love has now well changed I would say to something deeper and mroe comfortable. It's not only based on feeling but its based on will, on putting greater importance on the things that make us us than just what is oneself.

I have learnt to seek the happiness of others before my own. However my version of happiness and ambition disappoints a fair few. My lack of concern over the $$$ appears to be very unrealistic. But here see I am realistic enough to be content with the dream I'm living than to be chasing another.

Here's an excerpt from one of my favourite favourite writers, Mr. CS Lewis:
"Indeed the best thing about happiness itself is that is liberates you from thinking about happiness- as the greatest pleasure that money can give us is to make it unnecessary to think about money..."

Mother's day.

2007-05-15T05:56:00.000+12:00

I didn't spend Mother's day with my mom for the first time in my whole life this year.

I was going to, but was told she was busy and won't be around.
But LAST MINUTE, my family decided to do something with her without even informing me beforehand! I had to find out by calling them. SO HURT. But it's okay I'll make it up to Ma. Last year I got her helium balloons. This year I'll probably get her..more helium balloons. Since the whole family (well except for Pa) likes them harhar.

So we thought Connie would deliver her baby girl on Mother's day but it turned out we miscalculated and she has a quick birth in less than 3 hours in the labour room at dawn the next day to beautiful baby Caeley. I helped choose the name! Connie was gonna go with Ambelle but I talked her out of it :P

Connie gave birth to a 2.83kgs baby Caeley the natural way without an epidural. Now I really salute her. I hope to go through the exact same thing sometime soon. You know I've sat and spoken to girls who are moms and girls who are successful. Actually I shouldn't say successful because I think my perception of success is very different to most girls. Only other girl that has the same dreams as I is my sister Joyce. Okay anyway, both girls has experience I definitely don't have but I really have to say the girls who are moms, are way more worldly and sage than "successful" girls are. I mean yes you can carry on intellectual conversations, and have seen these parts of the world and yet, there is something missing. It'd be impossible to pin-point just what but something essential to life is missing.

I couldn't get a picture of baby Caeley with her eyes properly open. She kept opening and closing them. Haha it was like a race to get an open eyed picture! Man she really looks like Victor in this picture. But when her eyes are open she has her mommy's big eyes with very prominent double eyelids.

I remember how Connie's contractions were 4 minutes apart and she sat with us smiling and chatting. Though I could see beads of sweat on her forehead. Wonder woman!

Sigh its taking me so long to load the pictures. They keep timing out.

Ooh here's one. Her goddaddy Ham is playing with her :D

!!!

2007-05-13T22:55:00.000+12:00

Connie is in labour! She's delivering in less than 6 hours.
Ham's goddaughter will be born soon I'm so freaking excited!
We were just choosing names and now she's on her way!

!!!!!!!!

Good eye sniper. I'll shoot, you run.

2007-05-11T17:36:00.000+12:00

The busier I am it seems I write here more.

I NEED a camera. I see sooo many photo ops when my pups are around. Their bitch fights should be recorded. Cassie has been tired of being sat on and nipped by Mac so she's fighting back hardcore. Ham and I would make a giant bowl of cereal (when I say giant we usually finish the whole box in one sitting), sit on the floor and watch them. Cassie charges at Mac full force and bites her face her feet everything! But because she knows she's smaller she hides half her body under the bed and stretches out to bite Mac who's waiting on the outside. But if Mac walks away Cassie comes out from under the bed and attacks Mac! She even made Mac cry a few times. I used to watch in horror but now I'm quite used to it and only stop them when they get too aggresive. <3 My pups are my escape hatch and a destination in itself. This has really sneaked up on me. My love for them brought something up inside me, woke something up.

Oh I've never wanted a camera more badly than this. Every moment passes and I cringe at the wasted opportunity to snap a picture. They are only pups once! Does anyone know how I can obtain a camera for free? Please please please I'll sell my.. well, I don't have much to begin with so scratch that.

I re-read Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince for the 6th time yesterday to Ham's dismay as I had a presentation this morning :D
I can't wait for the next one Daddy's already booked it for me!

Annoying classmates. Well they're not mine but its a combined class and I have not met a more irritating bunch. My classmates and I were studying in class and this group was idiotically playing songs from their handphones. Like two of them simultanouesly! The range of music was killing me. There was that stupid pop Take your hands off my girl song and there was that "hey hey girlfriend shit" that I bet is the International Official Cheerleading some or something. Made me feel like stabbing the next girl I see in pink. And they'd be singing along changing songs every 30 seconds. If I hear "when darkkknesss turns to light" one more time I'd morph into a serial killer.

My classmates and I were SO annoyed. The four of us were rolling our eyes at each other when one of us, well his phone rang and it was that same hey hey something girlfriend song and my other classmate exclaimed "Hakim! Oh my god what kind of song is that! No shame ah!". The other group turned to us and one of them said "Hey thats an insult, we were just singing to that song." My classmate gave him, yes HIM, a VERY patronizing smile. I like her lah.

Sometimes love grabs you by the throat and makes you do things you wouldn't have done in its absence. It's very odd and nonlinear and organic. Yet its very real.

For now, I am real.

Retract the footsteps that brought us to this favor

2007-05-08T22:33:00.000+12:00

You'd think I'm a dog-lover by now. When we are at pet stores or out with Cassie other dog owners come up to me and chat about their dogs and etc. It's like being a parent! It's a club! But when I see other dogs I'm just ho-hum still. They don't interest me one bit. Weird.

The other day we were at Low Yat with Victor and Connie and I was carrying Cassie in my arms because we left her in the car for a while but I was fretting the whole time worrying so I went down and played with her in the car when I realized, all the money was with me soI went back up. After an hour I said to Connie, "My arms quite tired la." Connie, who is 8 months plus pregnant said, "Wait till you have this." :) I CAN'T WAIT I TELL YOU.

So Cassidy and Mackenzie are getting along better now. Smelling each others erm "put-puts" and their daddy calls it. Ham is quite the loving parent, he too now wakes up at 7am to play with them. But right now it's almost 7pm and all three of my babies are napping soundly.

Cassie got her first jab today. Ham and I were super chickenshit during the shot. I was going "Ok you hold her, I can't watch." While he, was cowering behind my bag going "No I don't want to see her in pain." But in the end we both held her. She only yelped two small yelps. We were expecting a long cry because when Mac pounces on her and bites her her howls are SO SAD. The other day Mac pounced on her and bit her and some of her fur came off! I saw it floating in the air where she was before she ran and hid under the bed. I literally felt my heart constrict. Then Mac got a big bad scolding from daddyHam and he hit her on her backside! I WAS SO SAD FOR BOTH OF THEM.

You know it seems like we're playing favourites with them because Ham and I are both very protective of Cassie but its only natural because she's so much smaller (although she thinks she's the gang leader). Plus Mac is said to have a killer instinct with smaller animals so that definitely needs to be harnessed! Ham hates it when I clap and kill mostikos hehe so as a result, i get mozzie bites all over me. So he definitely plans on curbing her killer instinct. You know Siberian Huskies can kill sheep? But so far Mac is harmless, I think she thinks I'm another puppy. She follows me everywhere and jumps all over me. But when she's with Ham, she always walks behind him and immediately sits when he stares at her. Hmph. If I stare at her she'd just jump at me. AT me you know.

It's adorable though the way Mac sits when Ham stares but then she'd roll over on her back and act cute with him, slapping her paws in his direction. Although the other day I was really upset with Mac because we put food in her bowl and Cassie went over to have a bite and instead got bitten by Mac! Ham gave her another scolding and told her that if she didn't want to share, she's not gonna have any food! So we took away her food for..5 minutes.

Last night Cassie was sleeping under our couch downstairs when Mac squeezed in. Then I heard yelping. I went "Babe! Get them out!" and he said to let them play. Then I heard a more alarmed yelping and I went into a frenzy and started hitting the couch going "BABE!!! GET HER OUT!!" Then I looked under the couch at them and it was actually Mac stuck and Cassie sort of laughing at her -_- Sigh fail as a mom.

Cassidy can now do Up, Sit, and Hand. She also comes very quickly when she's called and IF she's in the mood to layan you. Ham has concluded that she's super cunning. But she knows how to melt your heart. She can even do the peekaboo! We took her out for Uncle Arthur's birthday last night and she was so well-behaved..that is until Auntie Melanie held her.

Mac can erm only Sit so far. Huskies are hard to train and she's still a pup. 8 weeks old. She wants to be carried around ok!

Sigh I'm bored. Cassie, Mac and daddyHam are all sleeping. But I'm appreciating the peace and quiet. And the fact that there won't be pee and shit to clean up for a while. They both know to shit and pee in the toilet but sometimes they go right outside the toilet door. I feel like waking one of them up to teman me. Hm who to pick who to pick.

(For the first time ever I really wish I have a nice digital camera, so I can take better pictures of them. After all, they are only pups once! It's the best time for pics :( Someone buy me one?)
And now I can't post any pictures because blogger is on the rag.

;)

2007-05-07T14:49:00.000+12:00

Scarlett Johansson is really talented. Saw her latest Woody Allen movie Scoop with Hugh Jackman and I loved it!

We've changed Cassidy and Mac's names to Lansi and KuaiLan temporarily.

Darling Duo.

2007-05-07T03:02:00.000+12:00

Cassidy is so cute! For now, I'm calling the husky Mackenzie even though Ham doesn't like it. It's Mac for short. Cassie goes up to Mac and tries to play with her, biting and tumbling. But when Mac strikes back and bit, yes she bit Cassie *cries* she runs away. But 5 minutes later Cassie goes to disturb Mac again. SIGH. I watch half in terror and my heart racing. But Ham insists they need to get along and socialize. In the pictures, after Cassie howled after getting bitten, she goes up to Mac while she's sleeping and bites on her tail her ear. Never learn this busybody.

Cassidy is the cutest dog in the world!!

Today!

2007-05-03T19:03:00.000+12:00

We collect our Husky today!
In a couple of hours I can't wait!
I hope Cassidy gets along with her new younger baby sister.

my daily bread
ray says:
im sitting in the libarry wondering why they cataloged the books on topics about gynaecology and mechanical engineering under the same shelf..
Stella says:
maybe this library is meant for men

oh and this is too cute

I come to you as a friend.

2007-04-30T00:29:00.000+12:00

Joyce and I were having Dim Sum with Daddy Oo. The trays were coming around and Joyce and I started pointing at what we wanted while my dad eyes' followed our gestures when suddenly my dad reaches his hand out to ours in a smacking gesture and said "Don't simply point point point, I beat one ah." and then he chuckled and went back to eating his big pau. So random.

Later we were home watching the TV with Esther and there was this cool Taiwanese show on. It's called Treasure Hunt where these ppl go around looking for good food and other things to see on the show. At one part they were holding this sign with chinese words on it up and my dad quickly turned to Esther and said "What does it say? What does it say?" And Esther was scanning the screen with her panicky eyes while my add continues to say "Angry one ah I send you to school cannot read." Esther was panicking and exclaming "It's in old Chinese, olden Chinese!" HAhahaha my dad and I couldn't stop laughing.

We went to buy Cassidy's stuff like a crate (which I'm not planning to use), and more biscuits and other stuff and when we're at the counter he did his famous 'pretending to walk away while they are ringing up the purchases' except this time he really walked out for a whole minute while Joyce and I yanked out our wallets in a frenzy counting our money and then he walks back in with his wallet in hand chuckling to himself and making a "haha" face at the cashier.

I wonder if I get my sense of humor from him. I hope so!

More pictures of Cassidy!

2007-04-29T23:12:00.000+12:00

Hehe Mr.Tyler, Cassie found the monkey. Almost chewed it to bits. It's okay I saved him from her wrath! She can be quite fierce!

Ham bought a Siberian Husky pup today o.O We collect her in a week. She's 6 weeks old too early to be taken away from her mom. Man we are gonna have our hands and feet full.

Bummed.

2007-04-29T02:56:00.000+12:00

It's funny how there are two very distinct worlds in alcoholism. Those who don't realize what a severe disorder it is, and those who are aware that it can be fatal and struggle to keep it a secret from their peers.

"So alcooo." I hear it all the time. It's like, the more you drink, the trendier you are. And the funniest thing is when people proclaim (so-called la oh its so bad for me la but actually.. they are so proud to say) that they themselves are alcoholic. They even sell it like its a brand. It's part of their hip hip image. Years ago depression was probably the hip trend and now it's alcoholism.

Lately I've seen what being an alcoholic is, and how empty that person's life can be when he drowns himself in any form of liquor day after day, night after night. There's nothing glamorous about it, there's nothing to be proud of. In fact he knows my disapproving eyes are on him and when his skin fades to red I can't help but feel slightly disgusted. He knows, he masks it, he gives excuses. When someone drinks at an alarming rate daily, he knows it's something he should be ashamed of and he is. The sweets and gum he keeps in his pockets has ulterior motives. His family tries not to mention it or to act like it bothers them but organs are failing and we all know the cause.

Is there anyone who thinks this fella is hip? Now you are thinking "well this guy went overboard, he doesn't know his limit." But thats how sooo many wants to sound like, I hear and read it all the time, "My liver so gonna fail lor." Wow man, really its no joke.

So..it really is stupid to me, to hear people throwing the term around so carelessly. Maybe it's just friendly banter. But there are people who build their image around it and thats all it is, an image. Sure you can hold your liquor and you like the taste of it, but that doesn't make you an alcoholic so don't label yourself so smugly. Really, they talk about it as if its something sad and that they can't help but they are proud of it! They honestly think it makes them hip.

Now if it was someone super hooked onto drugs, would they say "I'm so addicted laa I can take up to how much how much. I'm such a drug addict la *laughs demurely*". No because people who do it knows what its about and knows its not something that should be taken lightly like that.

Alcohol is not all that different. The only difference is that its legal.

I am damn free.

2007-04-24T16:55:00.000+12:00

I scored 2nd highest on my sister's test. Shioyk.

Create your own Friend Test here

What's in a name.

2007-04-24T02:17:00.000+12:00

Ham bought me a dog!! She's mine!! MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE!!!

She's less than 2 months old! I'm thinking either Bo, Stevie or Cassidy. But Cassie sounds good for now.

I'm torn between naming her Cassidy (Cassie for short) and Bo. I also came up with Stevie. The guys are happily calling her Carpet cause she likes to lie flat on the floor. Ham actually wants to give her a chinese name but neither one of is is particularly fluent in Chinese so how to name. We almost went with Xiao Wei but I thought against it.

I wish I have a better camera to take better pictures. I never liked poodles. But this toy poodle is irrisistable!!! She looks big in the pictures but she's actually quite small and SHE'S MINE!!
I LOVE LOVE LVOE LVEO LVE LOVE LOVE!!!!!

Poooottt

2007-04-22T04:32:00.000+12:00

My mom gave me 50bucks for cutting my hair. Except, I didn't expect it to be this short. I chopped a whole 6 inches off. It's weird now when I sit my hair touches my lap but now its..so alien. But I guess its better now that its not layered, was starting to think layered hair is a bit duh. It's straight now. Plus Aran and I agreed that if hair is too long it looks quite the "hiong ha". Hehe.

London was an unexpectedly good movie! Children of Men was pretty decent too except the ending a bit potong. Seems nowadays all movies end too quickly for me, I'm always expecting another big bang. I finally got to watch Factory Girl and I really liked it! Also, I watched The Aviator for the 4th time. I don't like Leonardo Dicaprio but he seems to get the good parts. I am bored. I can't wait for The Simpsons movie. My dad is looking forward to the Transfomers movie although he won't admit it.

Oh the other day I passed a restaurant and its called, Sheesh Mahal! HAHAHahahah damn funny lor.

My afternoon out.

2007-04-16T21:03:00.000+12:00

I saw the cutest ride.
I would have gone on it.
But there was a height limit. HMPH.
Hafiz and Heng took turns on the I Gallop instead.
Free some more. This is what I call a cheap thrill.

Shorty won a jug of beer!

2007-04-12T19:57:00.000+12:00

Hafiz, one of Ham's roommate during their KTJ time is staying with us again during his Easter holidays. Hafiz's girlfriend Yaty works in Thai Club as their Marketing Manager.

Now I normally wouldn't have thought of going to Thai Club. I know how many (including myself before) cringes at the thought of going to places like Beach Club, Thai Club, Aloha. Even before we've stepped into the place.

Anyway on Tuesday we had dinner in Thai Club while waiting for Yaty to get off work. We were sitting outside at the back so I couldn't really see but there was this stage inside and the hostess who was a transvestite was reallly entertaining. He could sing too! At first we were a little apprehensive with the atmosphere, it felt kinda foreign but the night turned out really fun!

After the dance performance the DJ suddenly said "You know our bartendress Crystal, she's really short. If there's anyone in this club shorter than her, I'd give you a jug of beer. But I doubt there is."

I perked up. Then kept my mouth shut but it was too late. Yaty looked at me and said "Stel! Oh my god I'm gonna call Crystal over."

She came over and yes, I was half an inch shorter than her apparently. So Ham dragged me up to the DJ because him and Hafiz so badly needed another jug to share after their 2nd one. When Yaty flagged the DJ down and pointed in the direction of a sheepish me and a happy Crystal (because there's actually another girl shorter than she is) and the DJ said "SHIT! You are shorter than her! Is that your boyfriend?" I nodded ni Ham's direction and he continued to ask Ham "You're so tall and she's so short? How do you guys kiss?!" Ham leaned over and gave me a peck on the cheek and we got that jug of beer!

I think its damn cool lor.

The four of us went home happy. Then other guys came with a bottle of Martell and 2 red wines and the five of them finished it clean.

Does anyone else drink whiskey with warm water? Because Ham drinks it like that at home and apparently its better for you. It doesn't give you a headache.

Ok! Back to MSN Uno. Pek San and I keep getting beat and its time to fight back!

Where is Propagandhi?

2007-04-12T17:25:00.000+12:00

Pulau Ketam's steamboat porridge. I'm not comfortable with cooking stuff in my porridge. So it wasn't a very pleasant experience seeing fishballs, wantons and foo chuk in my porridge. Porridge porridge porridge. That's Hafiz (back from Perth) and Yaty in the back, who are staying with us for a whole week and a half! Shucks can't see Connie next to Yaty, she's 7 and a half months pregnant and she looks DAMN cute and round.

Uh..it's actually white. But its the "reaction" from Joyce's red shirt. (HAHAHA reaction! *alliance joke) Does anyone know how to change that wallpaper in the background? Help!

My almost everyday lunch. Tulip's Spicy Luncheon Meat. It's not really enough unless you have half a can. On its own.
My beat up toenail :D It's gone now. I picked at it till it bled so I sort of stopped.

Victor after his accident. BMW total loss, what is a RM1000 fine. Victor is quite concerned that is this picure is found online it would find its way to The Star. But be warned, whoever who rips this picture off will have their head ripped off their body. Won't win one la he wouldn't do the "jolly good" sign for this picture.

Really pretty dog. Look ma, no chains.

Lan's latest pet. It's a step up from snakes I feel. When I'm at his house I'm actually a little nervous that something might jump out of the cages and lunge for me. Or or worse, all ten snakes at once. Ham is getting quite worried about my luncheon meat intake. He asked me to pack on the pounds but at the rate I'm going its apparently scary.

Go Tulip! Forget Spam!

Q

2007-04-11T16:59:00.000+12:00

Jung called me and asked if I wanted tickets to Good Charlotte. I instinctively gasped and said "I hate Good Charlotte Jung."

I think I came off sounding a bit rude, sorry Jung! Hehe but its reflex. My goodness they are coming to Malaysia? Even more of an affirmation that pop bands are taking over the world. Who in the world dared to say that Good Charlotte was punk? Or Pop Punk even. You can't dress punk and look punk, only music and lifestyle is. Sure some of these shit bands are musically inclined, but anyone can be. It's being real that counts in music. Music isn't just rhythm and lyrics. It's beliefs, actions and just being very true to yourself.

It was about 5 years ago when I felt very proud to be Malaysian. It was when I first heard Gerhana Ska Cinta. Such insane potential.

Real life was stumped when the 90s came by. We are all just making do.

Oh and I also hate any toilets, sitting or squatting, that has water splashing onto your feet when you flush. Because everytime I use a public restroom, I have to prepare to run for cover before I flush. So it's my feet as close to the door as possible and my arm stretched as far as I could to flush the damn toilet. And even if make a run for it I sometimes still get it on me. I HATE IT! It's like shitty bands, you just can't avoid it. It's nothing wrong to make music but its everything wrong when you claim yours to be something it isn't. Why are you trying to dupe yourself and insult the the bands who really are something.

Actually, it could be a whole new genre. Wannabe Pop or Wannabe Rock, maybe just Wannabe. Well then there are some good wannabe pop bands.

Esther is 10!

2007-04-09T01:31:00.000+12:00

Today Esther had her 10th birthday party. Okay its not the 10th she's had but she's 10 now and she had about 20plus friends over today. Joyce and I stayed up late last night planning the games, the balloons the food the prizes. Voonz came over last night and helped with the balloons. My two darling Kakaks also helping with the balloons, the cooking and the "headaches" as we lovingly called the event.

Joyce and I decorated the house :D My phone's pictures has this yellow tinge to it *ugh. The pictures does no justice to what was in reality. The whole house was bursting in colors.

There was so much leftover KFC. So I had six pieces today. Abuot four balloons popped in my face today. I didn't get hit by a water balloon. And speaking of those water balloons, you nkwo the proper teensy ones meant to be water balloons? Not the normal ones where when you throw them at someone they bounce off, hit the floor and thats when they burst? These ones are awesome water balloons but they are a bitch to fill up. I'm tugging and huffing to very gingerly pull the mouth over the tap hoping it doesn't tear and I get to fill it up without water spraying in three directions. My two favourite colors! I saved these for the end when no one else had any more and all power was in my hands muahaha.

Anyway Esther's theme was her two favourite colors, orange and hot pink (*cringe, though its better than the pastel). Joyce and I wore her Zara tops; one which said I Love Pink and I wore the one which said I Love Orange -_-"

Esther got this really cool laughing Elmo. It's damn retarded. It keeps laughing and moving about changing laughing poses. Sometimes it even sounds like you're torturing it!

My weekend home.

2007-04-04T21:55:00.000+12:00

So Ham and I have had the Naza 206 for a while now and nothing's much changed since then though there's nothing really thatI want to change. Except! I don't have to take cabs anymore! Hip hip hurray! I have a feeling that in a couple of months, 206s will be everywhere! You heard it here first :D

ANYWAY, if you look closely at the picture below, you can spot my dad's new pet! I named him Jimbo. Jimbo the Lizard.

That's all the food that Esther, the small one on the left, Joyce, Daddy and I finished. Actually Esther had half a bowl, Joyce had one and my dad and I polished off the rest.
Jimmy and meeeee. I don't know why my arm looks so extremely fat here. But anyway, the subject of this photo isn't me, but Jimmy. That's actually him posing, I hope.

Follow the red balloon.

2007-04-01T18:36:00.000+12:00

On the set of a Mastercard commercial, I saw a group of guys preparing the props..which includes lots and lots of balloons. Now I am not one of those girls who's all BALLOON! BALLOON! I want la my childhood so deprived so I get to act like a sweet innocent girl now. No, I'm not one of those. However, ONE particular balloon got my attention. A big red one. its HUGE.
Can you see how huge it is? I touched it and its all thick and rubbery. It's not a ball either, its a helium balloon. Feck! I want! I snapped pictures of it throughout the day. 1 in the morning, 2 in the afternoon and so on.
Look at the size of it! I was so tempted to ask the Art Department if they could blow up a few more for me to take home.
Good thing I didn't. The boy got stuck in the revolving gate thingy at the exit. HAHAHAHAHA I couldn't stop laughing.
Somesh helped the guy out by pushing the balloon out through the top. I mean cause otherwise the gate would be stuck for a while and there were a lot more people waiting to get out behind us. So there it is, the coveted balloon.

I tried desperately to MMS these pictures to Raychel. But she didn't get them so I had to put it up :D

The blues.

2007-03-31T20:21:00.000+12:00

Or the greens. *ahem.

Rachel Yeng, Ter Pek San, Wong Mun Fye..
You have no idea how lonely I am without you three.
Come home pleasee..

Our system is vicious. 3 months of seeing you every morning, afternoon and night. And then months of not seeing you at all.
*SOB.

Potahto, pohtayto.

2007-03-28T22:42:00.000+12:00

Daddy bought an entire cod fish again and this time he gave me 4 thick glorious slabs of it.

YUM. I usually do the yin yong; one fried and one steamed. I dare not experiment with it because if it goes wrong I would cry. Seriously I would. Once when I was making prawns with breadcrumbs and when I overfried them I stared at the wok and felt a small sob coming up my chest.

I was sub-consciously checking MSN to see if Elle is online cause I need some tips on what to do with potatoes. I don't have pork, so I can't make sliced potatoes and pork. But since she isn't online I'm looking at recipes through websites. What a noob la me.

Anyway I was talking to an ex-classmate and she mentioned that I have really straight hair.
"I know," I said, "I've always wanted more volume, its so straight and boring"
She said I could try rebonding it, so it would be super straight because apparently, its in style.
I didn't have the heart to tell her that I HATE the whole rebonding thing and think it looks ugly on 90% of the girls that gets it done.
So I said "Nah rebonding's not for me. I don't want to spoil my hair"
She came up with a solution saying I could buy a ceramic iron thing (cant remember what its called) and straighten it every morning.
Who the hell has the time to straighten their hair every morning tell me please. I don't even have a hair dryer.
I don't even have a hairbrush.
I've never paid for a haircut.

Okay, I deserve to have boring hair.

Wet Willie

2007-03-28T04:52:00.000+12:00

You know how when you look back into the past and try to remember how the sensation felt like during a significant time and while you remember bits and parts you also realize how small and sometimes insignificant they feel because some time has passed?

But you also knew at that time what you felt was very strong and you can't seem to wrap your head around the notion that you don't feel anything close to what it felt like and you feel just a little guilty. However there's that tug at your heart, pulling it sideways telling you that it was real and it did happen.

I don't want Ham to be a small and insignificant anything. I held his hand tight when I told him this. I have made choices that I stand by and that I beleive I am in someway paying for but benig with him is worth all the judgments and offhand comments. I take pride in knowing that I see something many others don't and that the breaths I've been taking since I've made that choice are all that of blissful sighs.

Saves the day.

2007-03-27T00:29:00.000+12:00

I've been singing to this song for about seven years? The lyrics are damn sweet! I still like it till today so if you have time go listen to it. When you're bored like I am now you can sing and jump with it for hours. Real entertainment.

Let me take this awkward saw
And run it against your thighs
Cut some flesh away
I'll carry this piece of you with me

So all I can say tonight is that I hate you
But it would be all right
We could see each other sometime

If I could somehow make you mine
And if not I'll take my spoons
I'll dig out your blue eyes
I'll swallow them down to my colon
They're gonna burn like hell tonight'cause your beautiful
Just not on the inside, yeah

Light comes from within
And your beaming eyes don't seem so bright

My heart is on the floor
Why don't you step on it?
When I think ofall the things you've done
My heart is on the floor
Why don't you step on it?
When I think of all the things you've done

Boardwalks and breaking waves
Made our Saturdays
I'd buy you lemonade right now if you were here then I'd throw it in your face
And I'd listen to you cry

Remember how I miss our nights under ocean skies
You and I are like when fire and the ocean floor collide

: Rocks tonic juice magic.

If I crossed a million oceans

2007-03-21T01:35:00.000+11:00

A week ago Esther got the Sims for her Nintendo DS. As I've said before, Esther and I usually give in to Joyce so its been Joyce hogging the Nintendo while Esther watches her older sister plays her game. Joyce even bosses Esther around asknig her to plug the Nintendo to the charger never taking her eyes off it.

Anyway one of them decided to name one of their characters Dr.Jimmy and the other Dr.Neuron. Then i got to thinking that maybe I should name one of my sons after my dad. I thought it would be great not just as a gesture but an even more solid imprint of my father in my life; our lives.

Then I thought about how I would be bossing my son around using my dad's name like "Jimmy! Don't chew on the rug! Jimmy, don't bite Aunty Joyce!"

I happily recounted the story to my dad and then he said "Yeah then you'll feel a hard smack at the back of your head."

I think I'll do it anyway. Probably as a middle name. It would be awesome! Every man should be like my dad! He's the best! Every weekend when I come home he'll be waiting to take me to lunch, and then we'd go buy everything that I like to eat and sometimes buy/borrow a book. Then we'll sit and talk about our friends, our books and our family. We'd device plans on how to wrestle Ma from her hectic schedule to have dinner with us. We'd talk about how proud we are of Joyce, of how smart Esther is and how we want to buy a gigantic house and have daddy and mommy live with us and our husbands and kids. I can tell Daddy is really happy with the idea because he said "Eh can also, I can start looking for a plot of land" although Ma said "You think your husbands will like meh?" But I know secretly she like also.

Ooh and on Monday Daddy invited Ham to lunch! And Ma has been giving him more errands to run! It's a sign of acceptance! Progress! If Daddy only knew how much he and Ham have in common. The gory movies, the obsession with making me eat, the comic books in the bottom shelf, the addiction to Zantec, the afternoon naps at the same time, they both prefer being at home, the same stoopid jokes, they both secretly love Transformers but wouldn't admit it, they both call Rachel by Ray like me, they both HATE it when men cry in movies, they both LOVE making fun of Joyce, and most of all, they both adore ME!

Happy Birthday Yeng!

2007-03-21T00:01:00.000+11:00

In Melbourne time its officially Fudge's birthday. She likes being sandwiched what can I say.Like I told her, there's so much I wish for her words cannot convey!

She got a new cat today. I was trying to help her name it. I said "What about Pudge after me or Fudge after you?" Then i was upset because Famous Amos had increased their prices by RM2 so name the cat Amos. Then she came up with Dice, Orion and something else.

Now her cat's name is DiceCube. If you've watched Puff Puff Pass, remember the Cool Crush Ice Killa?!

hAHAHAHHahhahahHHAhahahhahahHAhahha.